Uninzi lwabantu luneenkcazo zangaphakathi ezikunceda ukuhlukanisa phakathi kwemiba emihle neyiyo ebomini. Kubalulekile ukuba ufunde ukuphulaphula ilizwi ngaphakathi kwakho kwaye ulandele iingcebiso zakhe, kwaye uya kukukhokela kwikamva elonwabileyo.
Kuthetha ntoni isazela?
Kukho iinkcazelo ezininzi zengcamango enjalo: ngoko, isazela sithathwa njengekhono lokuzimela ngokuzimeleyo uxanduva lwazo lokuzibeka esweni nokuvavanya izenzo ezenzileyo. Iingcali zengqondo, ichaza ukuba yintoni isazela ngamazwi abo, kunika intsingiselo enje: lo mgangatho wangaphakathi owanika ithuba lokuqonda indlela umntu azijonga ngayo kakuhle umthwalo wakhe wokuziphatha.
Ukufumanisa ukuba yintoni isazela, kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba ikwahlula zibe zimbini iintlobo. Iyokuqala ibhekisela kwizenzo ezenziwa ngumntu, ezineemvelaphi ezithile zokuziphatha. Uhlobo lwesibini lubonisa iimvakalelo ezifunyanwa ngumntu ngenxa yezenzo ezithile, umzekelo, umva wecala . Kukho abantu abangazange bakhathazeke emva kokuzenza izinto ezimbi kwaye kwimeko enjalo bathi ilizwi langaphakathi lilele.
Yintoni isazela sikaFreud?
I-psychologist eyaziwayo iyakholelwa ukuba wonke umntu unesiderego, esinezelazela kunye nesimo esihle. Iyokuqala ivela ngenxa yokukhuliswa kwabazali kunye nokusetyenziswa kwezihlwayo ezahlukeneyo. Isazela sikaFreud siquka ukukwazi ukugxeka, ukukhokelwa kwemigaqo ethile yokuziphatha kunye nokuvela kweemvakalelo zetyala. Ngokumalunga nokushiya okwesibini-ego-efanelekileyo, kubakho ukuvunywa nokuvavanywa kwezenzo. UFrud ukholelwa ukuba i-superego yenziwe ngokuzeleyo xa ukulawulwa kwabazali kuthatyathelwe ngokuzithiba.
Iintlobo zesazela
Mhlawumbi abaninzi baya kumangaliswa yi nyaniso, kodwa kukho iindidi eziliqela zobunjani bomgangatho wangaphakathi. Uhlobo lo kuqala luzazela luntu, olujoliswe kakhulu. Ngoncedo lwaso, umntu uqikelela okulungileyo nokubi. Ingcamango elandelayo yesazela ehlanganisiweyo ihlanganisa iimfuno kunye nezenzo zalabo abangabonakaliyo kwimpembelelo yohlobo lomntu. Unokulinganiselwa, kuba ixhala kuphela abantu abangamalungu eqela elithile. Uhlobo lwesithathu - isazela esingokomoya asinakuqwalasela ukupheliswa kwezi ntla ngasentla.
Yintoni isazela?
Abantu abaninzi babuza lo mbuzo ubuncinane kanye kanye ebomini babo, kwaye ke, ukuba kwakungekho lizwi langaphakathi, ke umntu akayi kuhlukanisa ukuba zeziphi izinto ezilungileyo kwaye ezimbi. Ngaphandle kolawulo lwangaphakathi lobomi obufanelekileyo, kuya kufuneka ukuba uncedisi oyalela, ocebisa kwaye uncedise ukufumana izigqibo ezifanelekileyo. Enye ingongoma ebalulekileyo malunga nokuba kutheni umntu unesazela kukuba unceda umntu ukuba aqonde ubomi, fumana indawo efanelekileyo kwaye azi ukuba ngokwakhe. Kufuneka kuthathelwe ukuba ayikwazi ukwahlukana nokuziphatha nokuziphatha.
Kuthetha ukuthini ukuhlala ngokuvumelana nesazela?
Ngelishwa, kodwa akubona bonke abantu abakwazi ukuziqhayisa ukuba baphila ngemithetho, belibale ngale mgangatho kwaye bazithengela ngokwabo. Ngenxa yolu mgangatho wangaphakathi, umntu wenza izenzo ezithile, ukuqonda okulungileyo kunye nokungalunganga, kodwa uyazi nazi ngcamango ezifana nobulungisa nokuziphatha. Umntu ophila ngeenkolelo zesazela, unako ukuhlala enyanisweni nangothando. Kuye, iimpawu ezinjengokukhohlisa, ukungcatsha, ukungathembeki njalonjalo akuvunyelwanga.
Ukuba uhlala ngemithetho, kufuneka uphulaphule umphefumlo wakho, okuya kukuvumela ukuba ukhethe indlela efanelekileyo ebomini. Kule meko, umntu akayi kwenza izenzo apho uya kuziva ehlazo kunye netyala. Ukuze uqonde ukuba yintoni isazela esicacileyo, kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba kwihlabathi lanamhlanje akulula ukufumana abantu abaneendlela ezinjalo, kuba kukho ezininzi iimeko kunye nezilingo ebomini xa uwela umgca. Ukubunjwa kwalo mgangatho kuchaphazelwa ngqo ngumzali kunye nendawo esondeleyo, apho umntwana angathatha umzekelo.
Kutheni abantu benza isazela?
Ukubizela ubomi obulula namhlanje, akunakwenzeka, kuba phantse yonke imihla umntu udibana nezilingo ezahlukeneyo kunye neengxaki. Nangona abantu abaninzi bayazi indlela yokwenza ngokuvisisana nesazela, ngamanye amaxesha abantu bawela umgca. Isizathu esenza ukuba isazela siphume, sinesiphumo esisisiphumo. Kwiimeko ezininzi, umntu uchitha iinkolelo zakhe ukuze anelise iinjongo zakhe. Enye inkqubela kule nto ingaba neenjongo zokuzibhokoxa, umnqweno wokungafuni ukuphuma kwisihlwele, ukuzikhusela ekuhlaselweni kwabanye kunye njalo njalo.
Yintoni ukuzolazela isazela?
Xa umntu ephila ngemithetho, uqonda ubulungisa bokuzalisekisa imisebenzi yakhe kwaye akonakalise kakubi izenzo zakhe, bathetha ngolu hlobo njengengqondo "yokuthula" okanye "icocekile" isazela. Kule meko, umntu akayi kuziva okanye akazi naziphi na izenzo ezimbi. Ukuba umntu ukhetha ukuhlala ngesazela, kufuneka ahlale eqwalasela isikhundla sakhe kuphela, kodwa nangoluvo kunye nemeko yabangqongileyo. Iingcali zengqondo zikholelwa ukuba ukuzithemba ekuhlambulukeni kwesazela sabo kukuhanahanisa okanye kubonakalisa ukungaboni ngokuphathelele iimpazamo zabo.
Iyintoni isazela esibi?
Okuchasene ngokupheleleyo kwenkcazo yangaphambili, kuba isazela esibi sisona sivakalelo esiphumelele ngenxa yokwenza okubi, nto leyo ebangela ukukhathazeka okubi kunye neemvakalelo. Isazela esingcolileyo sisondele kakhulu kwingcamango enjalo njengetyala, kwaye umntu wakhe uvakalelwa kwinqanaba leemvakalelo, umzekelo, ngesimo sokwesaba, ukuxhalaba kunye nokunye ukuphazamiseka. Ngenxa yoko, umntu ufumana amava kunye neengxaki ezahlukahlukeneyo ngaphakathi kwakhe, nokuphulaphula ilizwi langaphakathi, ukuhlawulwa kwemiphumo emibi kwenzeka.
Iyintoni ukuhlushwa kwesazela?
Ukwenza izinto ezimbi, umntu uqala ukuxhalabisa malunga nokunyanzelisa abanye. Iintlungu zesazela zivakalelwa kukuba zivela ekubeni abantu bahlala bezibeka kwiimfuno ezingenakulinganiswa nento yazo. Impawu zangaphakathi zangaphakathi zikhuliswe ebuntwaneni, xa abazali bedunyiswa ngokulungileyo, kunye nokubi. Ngenxa yoko, kubomi bonke, kukho uloyiko oluthile kumntu ukuze ujeziswe ngenxa yezenzo ezingcolileyo kwaye kwimeko apho bathetha ukuba iintlungu zesazela.
Kukhona enye inguqulelo enye, ngokoko isazela sinjani isixhobo esilinganisa umlinganiselo wenyaniso wezinto. Izigqibo ezintle umntu uyaneliseka, kwaye ngokubi uhlushwa yintyala. Kukholelwa ukuba ukuba abantu abanakubuhlungu kunjalo, oko kungumqondiso weengqondo . Iingcali zenzululwazi azikazanga ukuzimisela, ngenxa yento engayi kuba neentloni neentloni, ngoko kukho uluvo lokuba iphoso liyimfundo engafanelekanga okanye iimeko ze-biological order.
Yintoni endimele ndenze xa unembeza wam undikhathaza?
Kunzima ukudibana nomntu onokuqinisekisa ukuba akazange enze izenzo ezimbi kumxholo weenkolelo zakhe. Ukuziva unetyala kunokuphazamisa isimo sengqondo, unganikeli ukuzonwabisa ngokuphila, ukuphuhlisa nokunye. Kukho iimeko xa umntu omdala sele abe yinqununu ngakumbi kwiimeko zokuziphatha aze aqale ukukhumbula iimpazamo zexesha elidlulileyo kwaye iingxaki zomphefumlo wakho azikwazi ukunqandwa. Kukho iingcebiso ezimbalwa malunga nento enokuyenza ukuba unembeza uhlushwa.
- Awudingi ukuzama ukunqanda ilizwi langaphakathi kwaye kukulungele ukulungisa yonke into ukuze ufumane uxolo lwengqondo. Iziphoso zibanceda ukufikelela kwizigqibo zokuzaliseka kwezinto ezibalulekileyo ezibalulekileyo.
- Mhlawumbi, lixesha, usebenzisa amava okuphila okuqokelelwayo, ukucinga kwakhona nokuphonononga kwakhona imigaqo yakhe yokuziphatha.
- Ukuqonda ukuba yintoni isazela kunye nendlela yokudibanisa ngayo, kuyacetyiswa ukuba usebenzise indlela efanelekileyo-ukuguquka nokuhlengwa. Abantu abaninzi babalekela ixesha elide bevela kubo kunye nokuvalelwa kwetyala, okwenza kube lula nje imeko. Into ephambili iguqukayo ukuze ifumene indlela yokwenza izilungiso.
Indlela yokuphuhlisa isazela kumntu?
Ngokuqinisekileyo abazali kufuneka bacinge ngendlela yokuphakamisa umntu olungileyo oya kukwazi ukuba yintoni isazela, kunye nendlela yokusebenzisa ngokuchanekileyo. Kukho iindlela ezininzi zokukhuliswa kwaye xa sithetha ngokugqithisa, oko kukunyaniseka nokugqitywa kwemvume. Inkqubo yokwenza iimpawu zangaphakathi ezibalulekileyo zisekelwe ekuthembekeni ngokupheleleyo kubazali. Kubaluleke kakhulu yinqanaba leengcaciso, xa abantu abadala bebikela umntwana ukuba kutheni kwenziwe into ethile, kodwa into ayinakuyenza.
Ukuba, indlela yokuhlakulela isazela, inomdla kubantu abadala, ngoko umgaqo wesenzo uhlukile kancinci. Okokuqala, kufuneka ucinge kwaye uhlalutye izigqibo ezilungileyo kunye ezimbi. Kubalulekile ukucacisa imbangela kunye nemiphumo. Ukuqonda ukuba yintoni isazela kunye nendlela yokuhlakulela le mfanelo, iingcali zengqondo zincoma ukuba zenze okungenani isenzo esilungileyo imihla ngemihla, apho kubalulekile ukuzidumisa.
Fumana umgaqo - ngaphambi kokuba unike isithembiso, cinga ngokucophelela malunga nokuba uyayenza. Ukuze ungaziva unetyala, kubalulekile ukunqanda igama elinikeziwe. Iingcali zicebisa ukuba zifunde ukukhanyela abantu abanikezelayo ukwenza into echasene neenkolelo ezikhoyo. Ukwenza ngokunyanisekileyo, oku akuthethi ukwenza konke ngenxa yabanye, ukulibala ngemigaqo yabo yobomi kunye nezinto eziphambili. Ukwenza inyaniso, unokulindela ukufumana umphumo oza kunelisa bonke abathathi-nxaxheba.