Okumangalisayo kukuba, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha kungcono ukuba ungathethi nantoni na nongumfana kuyo yonke into - kukuthula nje kunokukusondeza kuye ngamanye amaxesha. Kodwa loo mizuzu ayenzekanga rhoqo, ngaphandle koko, ngenxa yoko sele ufanele ukwazi kakuhle kakuhle. Ngako oko, ukunxibelelana, ngokwenene, kusekho isiseko sobuphi ubudlelwane.
Indlela yokufunda ukuthetha nabafana?
Ukuba usebenza kwinqela lamadoda kuphela okanye unomzalwana omdala abahlobo bakhe bafika rhoqo endlwini yakho, umbuzo wendlela yokuthetha nendoda okanye umfana akunakwenzeka ukuthatha wena. Ukuba akukho zingozi ezifanelekileyo ebomini bakho, kuya kufuneka ukuba ucinge ngendlela kwaye ungaphi na ukufunda ukuthetha namadoda okanye abafana - ukuze unxibelelwano lwakho lunomdla kubo.
Okokuqala, funda ukuba ungabesabi uluntu lwabantu, kwaye uqale ingxoxo, njengoko bethetha, ukususela ekuqaleni, malunga nantoni na. Ukuze ungacaciswanga, khetha iindawo apho unokubuza ngokufanelekileyo umfana okanye umntu ukuba anike iingcebiso, uncedo okanye uluvo lwakhe ngento ethile. AmaSpredishithi, iivenkile ezizodwa, ii-gyms, iingcali, iiinkomfa-fumana isizathu sokubuza umbuzo, okanye into yokumcela. Musa ukuwadelela le mibhobho encinane! Ngokungaqondakaliyo baya kukufundisa ukuba ube neengqondo zokuthetha kakuhle nokuziphatha kakuhle nendoda okanye umntu.
Inketho elandelayo kukunceda ukuba uqonde indlela yokuthetha nomfana - ukujonga umfazi okanye intombazana enxibelelana naye nesigxina somntu onomona, kwaye ungathanda ukufana nani. Ewe, kukho ubuqili obalulekileyo. Ngaphambi kokuba uzame ukuziphatha komntu, qiniseka ukuba kuhambelana nawe. Emva kwakho konke, nakwiindawo ezidumileyo zehlabathi, umntu uyakhuthaza kakhulu kuwe, kwaye umntu, ngokuchaseneyo, akayikukhupha, akunjalo?
Ngoko ke, ukuba kwindawo yakho kukho intombazana ephethe ukuziphatha kunye nemilinganiselo ekunxibelelana namadoda oyifunayo kwaye unokuyikopisha - yenza! Mjonge ukuba uqonde indlela kwaye ungayithetha njani nomfana. Unganqikazi ukuzenza ekhaya, phambi kwesibuko. Khumbula ukuba yonke inkwenkwezi yesikrini ichithe iiyure ezininzi phambi kwayo, izama ukukhetha indlela edinga ukumncoma kunye nokuthetha ngayo. Ukunxibelelana nomntu okanye umntu naye ubugcisa obunokufundwa.
Ngendlela efanelekileyo ukuthetha nomfana?
Sebenzisa kuphela ulwimi oluthile - mhlawumbi umgaqo omkhulu. Ukuba ekunxibelelaneni nabahlobo ongacingi ngendlela othetha ngayo, kufuneka ubukele oku xa uqala ukuthetha nomfana.
Indoda ngokuyinhloko iyayixabisa into engekho kuyo, oko kukuthi, ubufazi. Unokwenza ibhoksi okanye ubugcisa be-kartial - akunandaba. Into ephambili kukuba ekunxibelelaneni ngomlomo kunye nabafana okhumbulayo ukuba unika ulonwabo ukufunda kwiChekhov yaseTurgenev yasekuqaleni. Intetho enhle, echanekileyo iya kuhlonishwa yindoda efanelekileyo okanye umntu.
Yintoni abafana bathanda ukuthetha ngayo?
Ngokuqinisekileyo, malunga "neendoda" zazo. Imidlalo, iikhomputha, thina (amantombazana nabasetyhini) - into yokuqala eyayiza engqondweni. Kodwa lo mfana wayeqhele ukuxoxa nabahlobo bakhe okanye ngabahlobo bakhe. Yintoni anokuthetha nawe?
Wonke umntu, kwindawo yokuqala, ngumntu oqhelekileyo. Kwakhona unobuthathaka bakhe, ukwesaba, iimpawu, iimvakalelo. Ngoko ungakhathazeki kwaye ungakhathazeki malunga nendlela kwaye kufuneka uxoxe ngayo ngaye. Mvumele nje loo mntu akuxelele ngaye - ngokuzithoba
Ukuba omaziyo sele uqalile, ufumana ukudideka okufanayo kwiintlanganiso njengoko wenzayo - ungayikhohlwa le nto. Zama ukuba yendalo, ngaphandle kokuzama ngamandla, ngeendlela zonke, ukugcina nayiphi na ingxoxo-kwaye ungafuneki okufanayo kuye.
Ungabi namahloni ngokuthetha ngawe. Mxelele malunga neengcamango zakho, iinkolelo, iimfuno. Ngaloo nto ithatha kuwe ebomini, yintoni ozama ukuyenza, kukukhathaza ntoni kwihlabathi elikujikelezayo. Umntu unokunomdla kwabanye abantu kuphela xa egcwele umxholo, xa enento yokuthetha ngayo, kwaye ityala lakho nekhwenkwe yakho alikho. Ungesabi ukubonakala uhlekisayo kwimikhwa yakho okanye ezinxulumeneyo. Wena ungumntu, kwaye umhlobo wakho uya kuwuxabisa.
Musa ukunyamezela kwaye ungagxininisi neengxaki ezikulimazayo. Ukuba uyamxelela ukuba ngokuhlwa ukuphuma kwisitrato ukondla izinja ezilahlekileyo okanye iinkati, kwaye uhleka ngokukhawuleza nangokwethembeka - kholwa kwam, kungcono uhambe.