Naziphi na iingcebiso entombazana efuna ukuba zikhangele ngakumbi, ziqala ngeengcebiso zokufumana ukuzithemba kwaye uzithande ukuba ungubani. Kodwa ungayenza njani kwaye kuthetha ukuthini ukuzithanda ngokwenene? Siza kuthetha ngoku ngoku.
Kutheni ungathanda?
Ngaphambi kokuba udibanise iindlela ozithanda ngayo ngokwenene, kufuneka uqonde oko kuthetha. Ngaba uthando lithetha ukuthatha into engcono kunabo bonke abantu, ukuba zikhukhume kwaye zingenakwenzeka? Hayi, kukuphela kokwazisa komfazi kunye nokuheha, oku kukuwamkeleka ngokupheleleyo kwimizi yakho kunye nempawu. Kodwa ngexesha elifanayo kufuneka uqonde ngokucacileyo malunga nokusilela kwakho, kodwa ungazijezisi ngenxa yobukho babo, kwaye uzithande nabo - kuba akukho mntu uphelele.
Ungathanda njani ngokwenene?
Musa ukucinga ukuba isiluleko "indlela yokuzithanda ngayo" isasazwa kuphela ngeengcamango ezincinci. I-Psychology isitshela into efanayo - ukungabi nantando-yothando, kuhlaziywa ukuzithemba kunye nezinto ezininzi eziyinkimbinkimbi, ngokuqhelekileyo ezingenzi umntu onwabileyo. Ngoko, sifumene ukuba ibhinqa kufuneka lizithande, kodwa indlela yokuzithandayo nokwenza kwindlela yokujonga ngayo i-psychology, ngoku siya kudibanisa.
- Funda ukujonga ngokwakho kwisibuko ngokuzonwabisa. Ukuba uthanda into malunga nawe, thetha ngayo, ngokubhekiselele kwisicatshulwa sakho kwisibuko. Ukuba awukwaneliseki ngento ethile, khulisa oku, kodwa zama ukufumana ukungaphumeleli kwiingxaki zakho.
- Ubomi bemihla ngemihla senza ukunqoba kwemikhwa yethu, ngaphezu kobuvila kunye nezinye izinto. Funda ukuzidumisa nangenxa yeziphumo ezincinci ezinjalo.
- Ukukholisa ukucinga kwakho kwisibuko esihle, ungakhohlwa ukukholelwa wena. Nguwe kuphela umntu omhle, emzimbeni nangokomoya. Unokuba nayiphi na into enjengezinye iintombazana, kodwa uhlala uyingqayizivele, enye ayikho, kwaye ngenxa yedwa ufanelwe uthando.
- Ukujonga ngokwakho kwisibuko, akufanele uthi "Umfundisi kaJay Lo unhle kakhulu, kwaye inqunu ka-Angelina Jolie yincinci, kwaye andiyiyo yonke loo nto, ngoko ndiyingozi." Akukho nto yohlobo! Yeka ukuhamba malunga nemigangatho ecacileyo yobuhle, emva koko konke okubonayo kumaphephelo kunokuba kukuhle, kodwa akuphili, kungekhona okwenene, ngoko ke ukulahlekelwa kakhulu kwekhangelo layo. Uyamangalisa ngenxa yokuba intombazana enomdla - unamawaka amaxesha angcono. Kwaye ukuqinisekisa ukuba unokwakheka kweso sithombe akukho mbi ngakumbi, sebenzisa isithombe sakho esihle kakhulu nge-Photoshop. Ewe, ukuba iphephancwadi elihle liyabona le nto, yayiza kubethwa ngumona, akunjalo?
- Yeka ukucinga "kodwa ukuba ndenza oku kwaye ndabona indlela abanye abantu abandijonga ngayo." Yenza nje into oyifunayo (into ephambili kukuba ayihambi ngaphaya komthetho), uyonwabele kwaye ujabulele yonke iminzuzu oye wahlala kuyo.
- Wonke umntu unemikhumbuzo embi apho sibukeka okanye siziphathe ngendlela engalunganga. Ngoko kwithando lilo "maphepha ahlazo", awudingi. Mhlawumbi wenza iphutha kwindawo ethile, ngoko ke! Akukho mntu wabantu abangafezekanga, wonke umntu unelungelo lokwenza njalo. Ekugqibeleni, akuyena ongenzi iimpazamo, kodwa lowo ungalingi ukulungisa iimpazamo zakhe. Kwaye, akukho bantu abaphosakeleyo -kuba umntu uthe akazange abe nento enjalo, ngoko uxoke okanye unengqondo engenziwayo, okanye akenzanga nto ebalulekileyo ebomini bakhe.
- Unokufotshwa kwaye uzithenge iimpahla ezintsha. Qinisekisa ukuba kunoma yiphina indawo kunye nomfanekiso ubonakala ubumnandi. Ukuzithoba kwaye uzixelele ukuncoma akuyilwaphulo-mthetho.
- Ukuthetha rhoqo, ngokukodwa nabantu besini esahlukileyo. Funda ukuvuma ngokufanelekileyo amanconywa, ungaba neentloni kwaye ungacingi ukuba umntu uyancoma nje ngokuba ufuna into ethile evela kuwe. Uyanconywa ngenxa yokuba bayamhlonela ubuhle bakho, kuphela ngale ndlela kwaye akukho nanye indlela.
Khumbula, kuphela ngokufunda ukuzithanda, uya kubona ukuba abanye bathanda. Ewe, oku akunakwenzeka ngokukhawuleza, uthando lwendalo yonke aluyi kuwela ngobusuku obubodwa, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo kuya kuba, kholwa kwam.