Ukuba ucinga malunga nendlela yokuhlazisa umntu, kuthetha ukuba wakubangela ukuhlambalaza okanye ukuhlambalaza. Kungoko oko, kungekho sizathu, umntu ohlazola abanye ukwenza ngenxa yokungahambi kwakhe kunye nokuthosa. Cinga ngombuzo: kutheni umntu ehlazisa omnye umntu, kwaye unokufumana lula ukuphendula. Ngokuqhelekileyo oku kwenziwa ngokuphendula ngokuhlambalaza okanye ukuthukwa. Into echasayo kakhulu kukuba indoda kuphela ihlazisa umntu, iilwanyana azikwazi ukukwenza oku. Ukuthotywa kunzima ukuxolela, kukhunjulwa ixesha elide, yingakho akufanele uhlazise umntu ngaphandle kwesizathu esinjongo.
Kutheni abantu behlazisana?
Ukuthotywa kukuwa kwesithunzi somntu emehlweni abo. Ngamanye amazwi, oku kukuhlambalaza nokuhlambalaza okunokubangelwa injongo yemfundo. Emva koko, abaninzi abantu bafanelwe oku, iimbono zesithunzi nesidima sele zifudukela kwimvelaphi kwihlabathi lanamhlanje. Isenzo esinjalo, indlela yokuhlazisa umntu, sinokuzibophezela ukuqinisekiswa kobuxoki.
Kwiimeko ezininzi, ukuthotywa kunzima ukufezekisa injongo yalo, oko kukuthi, umntu, ingakumbi umntu oqale wahlambalaza, akanakwenzeka ukuba ahlaziywe ngokuhlaziswa ngamazwi ngokubuyisela. Okubi nakakhulu, ukuba umntu uyaziqinisekisa ngenxa yeempendulo ezihlazo zomnye umntu. Kule meko, into yokuhlaziswa ingaba nokudakumba, i-neurosis kunye nokukhathazeka kwengqondo.
Ungamhlazisa njani umntu ngamagama?
Bambalwa abantu abazi indlela yokuhlazisa ngokufanelekileyo umntu, ukuba kwenziwe ngeenjongo zemfundo, indlela yokuyibeka kwindawo kwaye ufezekise umphumo oyifunayo. Ukuqinisekisa ukuba ukuthotywa akubuki njengento yokuhlambalaza, kwaye awuzange uhlele kumgangatho womoni, kuyafaneleka ukuba ucinge ngendlela yokuhlazisa ngokuthobeka umntu. Cinga indlela yokuhlazisa umntu ngokucokisekileyo, kuba oku kuyenzeka kuphela xa izinto ezithathwa ngumntu zihlazo ziyathinteka.
Izindlela eziphambili zokunyelisa umntu ngengqondo:
- Ukungayithobeli, ukuthula kunokungakhathaleli. Yenza ibonakale ngathi ucinga ukuba umntu uyindawo engenanto, ungayikhokheli nayiphi na into, ungamkeli kwaye ungathethi kuye, thula xa uthetha nawe, ungaphenduli imibuzo.
- Qinisekisa ukuba yiyiphi amagama onokuyihlazisa umntu ukuze kwenziwe ngehlazo. Mhlekise ngaye, udibanise, umnike iinkcazo ezingabonakaliyo kunye neengcikivo okanye ukuthelekisa. Wena kunye nabanye kulo mzekelo uya kuvuyiswa, kodwa akuyinto emnandi kuye.
- Xelela inyaniso emehlweni akho. Fumana ulwazi olumalunga nomntu uze ulubeke kwisiboniso sikarhulumente. Ukuba awufuni ukuvula onke amakhadi, yenza iingcebiso ezimbalwa, kwaye loo mntu akayi kukwazi ukuphendula ngokubuyisela, kuba utsho nje inyaniso.
- Indlela yokuhlazisa umntu oyinkohlakalo? Ukubonakalisa uhanahaniso lwakhe, xelela esidlangalaleni nakubuso bakhe malunga naluphi na amahemuhemu awenzayo. Jonga indlela asabela ngayo kunye nokungafuni ukujonga amehlo
ezijikelezayo. - Bhala zonke iingxaki. Ukuhlaziywa kwamatyala angaphandle okanye okwenyama kukukhohlakele. Indlela efanelekileyo ngakumbi ukuluhlula ezo mpazamo eziphazamisana nabanye, umzekelo, imikhwa emibi, njl njl.
Ukuba umgomo wakho ukuhlazisa indoda, kulufanelekile ukugxininisa loo mpawu yesimo sakhe esingafani nanjengabantu. Ngamanye amagama, zibonakalise kuye konke ukungahambelani kwamadoda kunye nokungazi, bangela ukuba ayenesabi kubafazi abhedlele okanye imeko yakhe yezemali. Ekuhlazulweni kwowesifazane kubalulekile ukuba "ukugibela" ekubonakaleni kwakhe, ubunzima obukhulu, inqanaba lomqondo. Nangona kunjalo, kukufanelekile ukukhumbula ukuba nakuphi na ukuthotywa kunye nokuhlambalaza, kunye neenjongo ezilungileyo, kubalulekile ukuba ungaphumi kwaye ugcine isithunzi sakho.