"Ndaxabana nentanda yam, ndaziphatha njengowesifazane ophelileyo, kodwa andinakuyeka, ndaye ndavalelwa. Wayecaphukisa, kwaye mna, ngokuqonda ukuba kwimbambano ndimele ndizigwebe, ndihlala ndicinga ukuba ndingamcela njani umntu oyintanda ukuba amxolele. " Ngaba imeko iyaziwa? Emva koko masicinge kunye kunye nendlela engcono yokuxolisa kumntu wakho.
Indlela efanele ukucela ukuxolelwa kumntu othandekayo?
Iyiphi indlela engcono yokucela ukuxolelwa nokwenza ulwazi olufanelekileyo lwezengqondo zengqondo. Ngubo abanika iingcebiso kubo bonke abaphikisanayo ukuba bangayiboni ikati ngomsila, kodwa babalekele ukuxolisa kubathandekayo babo ngokukhawuleza ukuba iinqununu ziye zanciphisa. Xa wena kunye neqabane lakho nidumise, kufuneka uqale ukuxolelana. Kulula ukukwenza-hamba ucele ukuxolelwa, kwaye unyanzelekile "Ndiyakuthanda". Kwaye into ephambili ayikuthi uxelele umntu othandayo ukuba uya kuba netyala okanye aphuthele kwinto ethile, eqala ukubeka, sele usukhulile ngaphezu kwemeko kwaye bonke bayamxolela, ukwenzela ukuba izityholo ezongezelelweyo zingasebenzisi nto apha. Kwakhona, qiniseka ukuthetha ngokuzolile, ukhangela ngqo emehlweni.
Kodwa ndingathanda ukuxolisa kubantu abathandanayo ngendlela yokuqala, ukuze umntu obathandayo, abone indlela awazama ngayo, waxolela zonke izono. Kukho iindlela ezininzi zokuxolisa ngale ndlela, kuxhomekeka kukucinga kwakho kunye namathuba. Nazi iindlela ezimbalwa.
Ngaba kukuhle ukucela ukuxolelwa kumntu othandekayo?
- Indlela yokucela ukuxolelwa? Ukuxhuma le talente kumbongi, ukuba ngaba kunjalo. Bhala kubathandekayo wakho uxolo kunye nesibhengezo sothando ngohlobo lwembongo. Amadoda anothando nawo afana nawo, nangona ahlala ebonisa ngokusobala. Yaye umhlobo wakho akayi kuvuya kuphela ngamazwi obhalayo, kodwa yinyani yomsebenzi wakho - emva kwayo yonke into, ukhathaze, uqoke amagama, imigca yemizingo, uzame ukungaqondi. Kodwa ukuba akukho na italente, ungabhala incwadi enhle kumthandeki wakho. Kwaye unokumcela uxolo ngohlobo lomhlobo, zama nje ukuba ungabonakali ngathi unamahloni okanye uloyiko ukumxelela yonke into ngomntu. Zama ukubetha yonke into ngokuhle kunye nomoya.
- Indlela yokucela ukuxolelwa ngokufanelekileyo? Ingcinga yokuqala yinto yokukhetha ngesidlo sothando. Yonke into iya kuba yintle apha: zombini imeko, nawe kunye namagama akho. Kwaye sikhumbula ukuba abantu bathanda ukutya okumnandi, kwaye emva koko bajonge ihlabathi ngokufanelekileyo. Ngoko ke, kuyafaneleka ukuba uzame ukupheka oko intanda yakho ithande kakhulu. Ewe, umfanekiso wakho ufanele ukwenziwa kwindlela oyithandayo.
- Unokucela ukuxolelwa nokusebenza-ukunika umntu obathandayo into encinci ebekade ebeka iliso kuye. Ngokwemvelo, isipho sifanele sihambisane nokuxolisa kwakho ngokunyanisekileyo kunye nokuqinisekiswa kwixesha elizayo ukuze ungaziphathe.
- Ngaba ufuna ukuxolisa kumthandayo? Myalelo ibhanki uze uyibeke kwindawo yakho, ukuze lowo kuphela uya kuwubona. Oko ubhala kwibhanki, zicinge wena. Mhlawumbi kuya kuba yincinci "Ndiyaxolisa, ndiyakuthanda" okanye ibinzana kuphela owaziyo kuphela.
- Yenza uxolo lwakho lungabonakali nje kuphela, kodwa luyamnandi.
Ugqoke, ubophe isaphetha ezandleni zakho, thabatha iqela elikhulu leebhaluni uze ucele uxolo lwakho ekhaya kumthandi wakho. Kwakungekho nabani na onokumelana nokuthandana nokuxolisa.
Kodwa kungakhathaliseki ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokuba ungafuni ukuxolela intando yakho, into eyona nto kukukunyaniseka xa uvuma kwaye uxolo. Yaye uya kuthini na ukuba ungabalulekanga, uyalila, wangcwatywa ehlombe lakhe, wamanga kwaye uyamqinisekisa ukuba uyona mhle kwaye awusayi kuphinda umcasule okanye umele njengentombazana encinci ikhanda lakho kwaye ucele ngelizwi eliphantsi ukuxolelwa. Kubalulekile ukuba uyazi ukuba uyaguquka kwaye umthande.