Ungaphila njani ukufa komntu othandekayo?

Akukho nto nzima kunokuba ilahlekelwe ngumntu othandekayo. Akunandaba, isihlobo okanye nje umhlobo olungileyo - kodwa ihlala ikhuni nzima, apho kunzima ukuyifumana. Kulula kubafazi ngale ndlela - uluntu lubavumela ukuba badibanise, ngaloo ndlela, bajongene nemeko baze bayikhulule, kodwa abantu banzima kakhulu: banelungelo ngaphandle kokulila, elingenakunceda ukubonisa lonke uluhlu lweemvakalelo ngaphakathi.

Indlela yokuhlangabezana nokulahlekelwa ngumthandayo?

Ukumemeza kunye nemihla ephawula ukufa kwabathandekayo akuyiyo ingozi, kwaye ihambelana ngqo nexesha lokuphila nokuqonda intlungu. Emva kwendima eyaziwayo yazo zonke izigaba, umntu uya kukhanya. Ungazichukumisi, uzifihle intlungu, inokubangela ukuphazamiseka kwithuba elithile kunye nokuphucula imiphumo yengqondo. Kwixesha ngalinye kukho iingcebiso zokusinda ekufeni komntu othandekayo.

1. Ukutshitshiswa (ukususela ngowokuqala ukuya kutsho lesithoba). Ngeli thuba umntu akakwazi ukuqonda imeko kwaye amkele ukulahleka. Oku kuyindlela yokukhusela isifo se-psyche, esikuvumela ukuba uhlale kwixa elilukhuni. Abantu bayasabela ngokungafaniyo nale nto: abanye bawela kwi-stupor, abanye baququzelela umngcwabo. Olunye amava okuhlaselwa, ukuyeka ukuqonda ukuba ngubani na kwaye kuphi-kodwa oku akusiyo ingxaki yengqondo, kodwa ukuphendula ukuxinezeleka. Kule meko, umntu kufuneka akhale.
2. Ukulahla (ukususela kwisithoba ukuya kwiintsuku ezingamashumi amane). Ngeli xesha, ngokwemizalwane yobuKristu, imikhosi yovuko iqhutywe, ikhulula umphefumlo womntu. Usizi nangona ulahlekelwa yilahleko, kodwa ungakulungele ukukholelwa kuyo, bacinga ukuba umntu uhleli, okanye uza ephupheni. Ngeli thuba kunceda ukukhala, akunakwenzeka ukukhusela intlungu.

Umntu sele sele eqonda ukulahlekelwa kwakhe, kodwa umzimba wakhe kunye nesigxina asiyi kwamkela. Yingakho ekwazi ukubona kwisihlwele somfi, yiva amanqanaba. Musa ukwesaba! Kuhle xa iphupha lokufa, ubuncinane ngamanye amaxesha. Ukuba ufuna ngokwenene ukumbona ephupheni, uthetha ngengqondo kuye, mcele ukuba angene ephupheni. Ukuba ngeli xesha alizange liphuphe, lithetha ukuba inkqubo yokulila ivinjiwe kwaye uncedo lwesazinzululwazi siyadingeka. Yonke incoko malunga nomfi ifanele ixhaswe. Ngeli xesha kulungile xa umntu osilayo ekhala (kodwa engasijikelezi iwashi).

3. Ukwamukelwa kunye nokulahleka kokuhlala (ukuya kwiinyanga ezintandathu). Ngeli xesha, intlungu iyaqina, ibuye ibuye, ilahlekelwe kwiinkxalabo zemihla ngemihla. Ukuba kwakunzima ukulahlekelwa ngumthandayo, emva kweenyanga ezintathu umntu uqala ukuvakalelwa kukuba akaze akwazi ukubuyela ebomini obuqhelekileyo. Ngeli thuba, iimvakalelo zecala okanye ulwaphulo olubhekiselele kumntu oshonile lingavela ("undishiyile bani?"). Okuqhelekileyo ukuba akuhlali ixesha elide. Kuqhelekileyo kwaye uzama ukufumana ityala.
4. Uncedo (unyaka). Ngalesi sikhathi, ukufa komntu othandekayo sele kunalo ixesha lokuthatha nokusebenzisa ubomi obutsha. Ukuba Intlungu sele idlule ngokuchanekileyo, ngoko umfi okhunjulwa akafi, kodwa ephila, kwimicimbi yakhe kunye nexesha eliqaqambileyo.
5. Ukuphindaphinda kwezigaba ezidlulileyo (unyaka wesibini). Umntu kwakhona ufumana onke amanqanaba afanayo, kodwa ngokulula. Into ebaluleke kakhulu kukusinda ngokukhawuleza, ukufa okusemncinci. Ukuba umntu akayithinteli intlungu yakhe, ekupheleni konyaka wesibini kugqityiwe kwaye umntu uhlala ememori ekhanyayo.

Ukufa komntu othandekayo ngokubanzi kuhlangene nabantu ngendlela efanayo, enye inamathela kwizigaba, ngelixa ezinye ziqhubela phambili. Umntu onokulahleka okunjalo uhlala yedwa kunye naye: abantu abazi indlela yokunceda, kwaye baphephe nje ukuthetha, bazame ukungalimazi igama elibi. Abantu abambalwa kakhulu balungele ukuxhasa umntu ngaloo mzuzu, okuqhelekileyo kwenza kube nzima nakakhulu.