Kuzo zonke izinto zobomi bomntu kukho umgaqo wolonwabo. Kwabanye, kusemsebenzini, abanye bayonwabile ukuba babe nophahla phezu kweentloko zabo, abanye abazicabangi bengenazo ubutyebi. Kodwa kunzima ukuthelekisa nantoni na ukuvakalelwa xa uthando olufanayo luya ebomini. Uhlangana ngokungaqhelekanga, kwaye abo bakwazi ukuqonda le ntliziyo banokuthathwa njengenhlanhla ngokufanelekileyo. Kodwa yintoni enokuyenza kwabo abangenalo inhlanhla ukufumana isiqingatha sabo sesibini? Ngokukodwa kwabo bangathandabuzekiyo ukuba kukho uthando lomzimba kwihlabathi kwaye eli nqaku lenziwe.
Ngaba kukho uthando lomzimba?
Ngokuqhelekileyo ukuba akukho luthando, lithetha abo babeshushu ngolu hlobo lubonakala lukhanyayo. Emva koko, ukuba oko kuphela kuzisa uvuyo, ke abo babethandayo, kodwa bengathandwanga, babefanele bafumane ubunzima bokwenene ebomini babo. Akukho nto ebi ngaphezu kokungenakwenzeka komntu othandekayo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kwintlalo yanamhlanje, umxholo onjalo njengothando lwangempela luye lwaba luncinci. Imitshato yaqala ukuba neenzuzo, ngemali nakwiindawo eziphakamileyo, kunye nokuqhelekileyo ukuba "kwintaba." Uthando njengemvakalelo efanayo yayeka ukuvela kwifomu yayo ecocekileyo. Kodwa kusekho. Kwaye ukuze uphendule umbuzo wendlela yokufezekisa ngayo uthando, kubalulekile ukuthatha amanyathelo amabini afunekayo: ukufunda indlela yokuzithandela ngayo yonke into eyinkimbinkimbi kunye nokusilela, kwaye ulahlekise iimpazamo eziqhelekileyo okwesibini okwenzisayo ubudlelwane obuvumelanayo.
Ukutsala ukuthandana?
Phantse wonke umntu owake wathetha kuye ngokwakhe: "Ndifuna uthando lwangoku," aluniki ingxelo yokuba luvela ekujuleni komphefumlo. Ungaziphatha njani ngokugxeka kwaye ulindele ukuba omnye umntu akuthande kungakhathaliseki ukuba yintoni?
- Yingakho into yokuqala ofuna ukuyiqala ukuzithanda wena, umzimba wakho kunye neempawu zakho. Ziqonde ngokwakho ukuba uhlukile kwaye awunakwenzeka. Omnye unokuhlaselwa ngokumomotheka kwakho, kodwa uhlala ukhululekile. Omnye uya kuthanda umzimba wakho, kwaye uyawufihla nge-hoodies kunye neengubo ezingenakulungiswa. Gxotha amanqwanqwa enkqantosi, kwaye uya kubona ukuba phantse wonke umntu udalwe uthando.
- Ingxelo yokuba uthando luphela kuphela aluyinyaniso. Kwaye ngamanye amaxesha, ngokuchasene nomqondo oqhelekileyo, ukuze udibane nomvakalelo ongenakwenzeka, kufuneka uqale ufunde indlela yokuthanda, ngaphandle kokulindela into ebuyayo. Uthando luhlala lixhoba. Kodwa ngenxa yokuphindaphinda, kubalulekile ukuba ukwazi ukuthatha ingozi, ukuxolela, ukunyamezela nokulinda.
- Ukuba sasihlala ekhaya size silindele ukuba lo mthandane ufike, singaphila kumdala kakhulu ngaphandle kokufumana ubudlelwane. Ufuna ukuthandwa? Emva koko musa ukufihla ekhaya phantsi kombhoxo kunye nebhokisi lama-chocolates kunye nebali lothando. Phuma uye ekukhanyeni. Bonisa umhlaba ubuhle kunye nobuntu bakhe. Kwaye ngokukhawuleza kuya kuba nomntu oza kubona kwaye aqonde konke oku.
- Ukufumana umntu obathandayo ecaleni kwakhe, akuyiyo nayiphi na into ehlala entanyeni kwaye akaceli ukuba amkelwe rhoqo kwisibini ngothando. Ngaloo ndlela, umbuzo wendlela yokwazi ukuba ngaba uthando luhlanganyelwanga. Yiba ngumthandayo, inkxaso kunye nenkxaso. Zizinikele ngenxa yakhe nangaphezu kwexesha, ngezenzo zakhe, wena ngokwakho uya kuqonda ukuba uyithande kangakanani. Kodwa musa ukulibala ukuba ukukhumbula kwakho rhoqo uthando, i-sms-ki kunye nokuzama
ukuthetha ngokuphathelele ubudlelwane kunokuphela kuphela umlingani wakho. - Khumbula ukuba umthandayo unelungelo lenkululeko. Izinyoni azibaleki kwinqaba evulekile. Ngoko ungamgcini umntu osondele kuwe, kwaye ukuba uyamthanda ngokwenene, kodwa kungekuphela kuphela uya kubuya, kodwa ugqibe ekubeni ungashiyi nhlobo.
Uthando lwenkcazo kufuneka lube kunye. Kodwa ukuba ufanele uzitshise kwaye udibane nomntu ongenanto ukuphendula iimvakalelo zakho, sebenzisa le meko njengomzekelo wokusebenza kwiipazamo. Musa ukuthukuthela abo abangaxhomekiyo kunye nawe, uphumelele kwaye omnye umntu uya kukuxelela ngamazwi omthandayo owalindela ixesha elide.