Kukho imeko xa uthando luvavanywa ngexesha kunye nomgama. Abantu abaninzi banesabiswa ngongoma-mbandela owenziwe ukuba ubudlelwane obukude alukwazi ukugcinwa. Kodwa ekusebenzeni, yonke into ijika ngokungafaniyo: isiphumo esonwabileyo sincike kuwe kuphela. Emva kwakho konke, unokuziva unesizungu nokuba uhlala nomntu kuloo dolophu. Oku kuqinisekiswa ngamava ezininzi. Ngokwezibalo, malunga nama-700,000 aseMerika ahlala kwiidolophu ezahlukileyo, kodwa yintsapho enye kunye nokugcina ubudlelwane obuqinileyo.
Indlela yokugcina ubudlelwane ekude?
Umnqweno wokugcina uxhulumaniso kufuneka uvela kubathandi. Ukuba elinye iqabane lingathandi ukulixhasa, kufuneka nje ukuyikhulula, inqwenela ulonwabo. Emva koko, kunokwenzeka ukuba ithetha ukuba akanalo iimvakalelo okanye akanqwenela ukulwa nothando.
Makhe sijonge indlela yokuphuhlisa ubudlelwane ekude. Ngoko, kuyinqweneleka ukuvuma ukuba zihlandlo eziliphi ngeveki uza kucokola ngefowuni okanye nge-imeyile, ukuba uza kubona ngaphi ixesha ixesha langempela, njl. Zama ukuthetha rhoqo kangangoko kunokwenzeka ukuba imeko ibonakale. Amava amaninzi abini abaphumelelayo abonisa ukuba ngomnqweno osebenzayo wokugcina ubudlelwane , bahlala befumana. Kodwa, ukuba kukho ukungathembeki, ukungathandabuzeki nokungaqondi kakuhle kubini, isiphumo esibuhlungu sinokwenzeka. Ngelinye igama, kuhlale kuphuma indlela.
Ukuba ngokwenene unamacala amabini enye, unokuxhasana nakweyiphi na imeko kwaye usombulule nayiphi na ingxaki, ngakumbi ukuba ulonwabo lwezinto ezimbini luxhomekeke kuyo.
Ukuba unenkathazo ethandweni okanye udidekile kwaye ungazi ukuba uzibeke phi, ngenxa yokuba uyathandwa kakhulu kude, sincoma ukuba uphulaphule iingcebiso ezinceda ukuphendula umbuzo othi "njani ukugcina ubudlelwane ekude?":
- Zama ukuthetha rhoqo ngeziganeko ezenzeka ebomini bakho.
- Ukuba kukho ukuhlambalaza okanye ukungaqondi, kulungile ukuthetha ngokukhawuleza. Umthandayo kufuneka azi ngamava akho kwaye kufuneka akwazi ukukuqonda nokukuxhasa.
- Yabelana ngemini yonke kwaye uthethe ngendlela oyithandana ngayo.
- Kubathandekayo bakho, akudingeki uzisole ngamazwi amnandi kunye nomusa.
Indlela yokusinda ubuhlobo phakathi?
- Yiba nokuxabisa ukuzimela kwakho. Ukongeza kwintanda, kufuneka ube nezinto zokuzonwabisa, abahlobo kunye nomsebenzi onomdla.
- Musa ukuguqula ubomi bakho ube kwigumbi lokulinda ngonaphakade.
- Awunakuhlala ekhaya uze uhlale ulinda iindaba ezivela kwintanda yakho. Ukuphuhlisa ngokwakho njengomntu , vula i-entsha kwaye utshele isigxina sakho sesibini malunga nalo.
- Hlala unomdla omnye nomnye kwaye ugcine eso sibini sibe nesimo esihle.
Uza kuchitha ixesha kunye nenzuzo kuwe kwaye, ngelihlo, awunaso ixesha lokubhenqa njengokuba umzuzu weentlanganiso ezilindele ixesha elide.
Indlela yokugcina ulwalamano olukude?
- Ukucwangcisa ubuhlobo bakho. Kungaba izipho ezingalindelekanga, ileta yothando, umnxeba umnxeba, iindidi zeentyatyambo, njl.
- Ukongeza kwintetho yonxibelelwano, kufuneka kubekho into
ezingalindelekanga kwaye zivuya. - Kumele ukholwe ukuba yonke into iya kuvela, kwaye unokuyinqaba umgama.
Uninzi lwezibini zitshatyalaliswa ngenxa yokungathembeki okanye ukungabikho kwemvakalelo. Ngoko ke, kholwa naphezu kwayo yonke into kwaye uxhasane. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha unokungabaza malunga nawe kwaye kungekhona nje iimvakalelo zakho. Kule meko, umbuzo onokuthi unganakulinganiswa unokuvela: "Indlela yokulondoloza ubudlelwane ekude?". Kodwa isisombululo kukuba: esinye isiqingatha kwimiba enjalo kufuneka ikuxhase kwaye isiqinisekisile ukuba yonke into iya kuhamba kakuhle. Nanku kukhangeleka kakhulu ukuza kumazwi kaJoseph Brodsky: "Ngubani owaziyo ukuthanda, uyazi indlela yokulinda." Enyanisweni, ukuba uyamthanda ngokwenene umntu, ngokuqinisekileyo uya kukwazi ukunqoba umqobo onjalo njengomgama.