Uyabona, uyomelele, uyinyameko kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo kakhulu-kakhulu. Ngenxa yokuba uyindoda yakho, ofanelwe isipho esixabisekileyo-uthando lwakho nokuzinikela. Nangona kunjalo, nokuba isibhakabhaka asinakho ngaphandle kwamafu. Kwaye, ngaphezu kwexesha, ngaphezu kweemvakalelo eziphakamileyo, kukho enye "indiza kwioli", engaphazamisa nayiphi na ubudlelwane. Igama lakhe likhwele. Kwaye kubonakala kungekho sizathu, okanye kubonakala ngathi akukho. Okanye mhlawumbi udidekile kuwe. Kwimeko nayiphi na imeko, phantse umfazi wesibini ucinga ngendlela yokuziphoqa ukuba angaba nomona ngomntu othandekayo. Kwaye ekubeni le ngxaki yaqala ukufumana ubukhulu bomhlaba wonke, kubalulekile ukuyiqonda kanye kunye nayo yonke into.
Yintoni ongayenza ukuze ungabi nomona okanye uvelaphi umona?
Ukuba awusona ngqa wokuqala ukuphawula le nto ingcinezelo enomdla emva kwakho, zama ukukhumbula xa ibonakala. Emva kwakho konke, ekuqaleni kobudlelwane bakho kunye nomthandana wakho awuzange uqaphele abadlali bakho. Ngoko kwenzeka ntoni ukuba waqala ukufumana izizathu zobona? Kukho inketho ezininzi, nangona kunjalo, kukufanele ukukhumbule - akukho mkhwele owenziwe ngumzimba. Kuvela ngezizathu ezibini kwaye zombini unomlingiswa wengqondo:
- Ubunini obuninzi obunobunini obudlulisela kumfana wakho
- Ukungaqiniseki kwakho.
Kwimeko yokuqala, sijongana nomnqweno obuhlungu wokufumana into enothando, ukucima ubomi bakhe kunye nokukhusela isinyathelo kude nobukho bomntu. Umona onjalo unako ukutshabalalisa naluphi na ulwalamano, kuba abantu bayinkululeko yokuthanda inkululeko. Ininzi yabo ayinakunqwenela ukuthanda ukuba umfazi othandekayo akamvumeli ukuba enze izinto azithandayo, udibana nabahlobo kwaye ulungiselele uphando ngemizamo encinane yokuphumla ngaphandle kwakhe.
Isizathu sesibini, mhlawumbi, siqhelekileyo. Ukungakhuselekanga ngokwabo, kwiimpawu zabo, ubuhle kunye nekhontrakthi kwenza ukuba owesifazane abe ngumngcipheko kwaye akrokre. Ingxenye yaloo mvakalelo ayifumanekanga kwisiqingatha esilungileyo sabantu, kodwa intuitively ibhinqa inokuvakalelwa kukuba, ngokuchasene nemvelaphi yabanye, ngokusobala ilahlekelwa. Oku kubangela ukuba nayiphi na intombazana efunyenwe kwisangqa soqhagamshelwano lomntu othandekayo, ibonwa njengezitha eziyingozi kunye nezobambiswano.
Indlela yokufunda ukuba ungabi nomona?
Kungakhathaliseki isizathu esivakalayo, kubalulekile ukuba sikhumbule ukuba umona ungumona onamandla kakhulu, onokukwazi ukutshatyalaliswa naluphi ulwalamano. Ukuba ukhangele le meko ukusuka kwicala, oko kuvela ukuba ngokucaciswa rhoqo kobudlelwane obunikeza isizathu sakho kumntu othandayo ukuba akuthelekise nabanye. Kwaye ngolunye usuku umntu unokucinga, kodwa ngokwenene, kutheni na ukuba, ngokutsho kwamagama akho, abanye abafazi bangcono kwaye banomdla. Kwaye zingaphi iindawo ezikhuselekileyo ezinokuthi zithinteke ukuba ngaba oomama bayazi ukuba benze ntoni ukuze bangabi nomona.
Kodwa unabo bafazi abathandekayo. Ngoko, ukuba wena ukhathele ama-scandals ngokungabikho isizathu esicacileyo, makhe sibone indlela yokufunda ukuba singaba nomona.
- Ukuba ubona ukuhlasela okutsha komona, musa ukukhawulela ukuhlasela umthandi wakho. Hlala phantsi, uhlalise kwaye ucinge ngenyameko ukuba le yithuba yintoni isizathu esona sizathu soluvo. Inokwenzeka ukuba, isizathu asifanelekanga ingqalelo yakho
- Ukuphazamisa ekubeni nomona ngoncedo lomsebenzi othakazelisayo novuyo. Khumbula ukuba ubudlelwane bakhelwe inkululeko kunye nokholo. Ngokungaqiniseki ngaso sonke isikhathi, wenza okungakumbi nakwezinye izinto, okwenziwe ngokubandezeleka kungekuphela kwendiza yokuziphatha, kodwa kunye neyomzimba.
- Ukuba kubonakala kuwe ukuba kukho izizathu ezaneleyo, ukuze ube nomona, hlala phantsi kwaye uthethe ngentliziyo yakho intanda. Kodwa musa ukwenza njalo, kuba naluphi na ukucaciswa kolwalamano luqala ukuzala nokusongela ubukho bebini.
- Ngaba ungabi nomona ngexesha elidlulileyo? Impendulo yalo mbuzo ilula. Ixesha elidlulileyo sele lenzekile, lenzekile. Ukuze ubuyele apho, ngelanga, okanye ngenhlanhla akunakwenzeka. Ngoko kutheni uchithe amandla akho uze uphendule umphefumlo ngaphakathi? Nangona bekuyiqhwithi, awuyi kuze ufike apho, kwaye akukho nantoni yokukhuphisana neenkumbulo. Kungcono ukucinga malunga nendlela yokuhlela ubudlelwane bakho nekamva elide, ukwenzela ukuba nayiphi na imemori yezinto ezidlulileyo ezithintele izinto ezintsha.
- Kwaye ungathini ukuba ungabi nomona ngendoda, uyayichasa, ukuba ubuhlobo buye buba buhlungu, kwaye mhlawumbi, uya kufuna ukuvakalelwa kwindlela ecaleni? Awufuni. Ukuba uba ngumhlobo osondelene naye, inkxaso nenkxaso. Amadoda akabukeli kwicala, ukuba umfazi othandekayo uye waba ngumntu obalulekileyo. Kwaye ngokubanzi, ngokwemibare, indoda iqala "ukujonga ngakwesobunxele" kuphela ukuba kukho into engalunganga kwintsapho. Ngoku khawucinge ukuba uya kuziva njani, ukuba ekhaya uyacwangcisa uhlaziyo kunye nokuphandabuza. Ngaba akuyi kuba sisizathu esiya kumshukumisela ukuba ashintshe? Cinga ngako. Kwaye umbuzo wendlela yokufunda ukungaba nomona ngomyeni wakhe uya kutshabalala ngokwawo.
- Umgca ohlukileyo ebomini bhinqa bathanda. Kwaye kulungile ukuba akatshatanga kwaye awuthatanga. Kodwa ungathini ukuba ungabi nomona ngomthandi, ukuba ulwalamano lwakho luyiqhamo esinqatshelwe, okungafanelekanga? Apha ufanele ukhethe, okubaluleke ngakumbi. Ukuba ungumfazi otshatileyo, kwaye ukhethe wena njengomfundisi wesithando, ngoko kutheni angayikhethi enye into efanayo? Emva kwakho konke, ngokungafani nawe, ukhululekile. Kodwa nanko, umvakalelo onjalo njengokuba umona ungalunganga. Ukuba ukuzithemba kwakho kunye nobungqina bumnini buhlala bukhwele, zibeka izinto ezibalulekileyo.
Kungenzeka ukuba, unelisekile ngobomi bakho ngokusemgangathweni, kwaye umthandi ungumxhelo omnye kuphela olwahlukileyo kulobu bomi.
Kodwa ke, unokufunda njani ukuba ungabi nomona ngomntu othandekayo, kodwa ukuhlala ubomi obunokuthula? Kufuneka uqale nawe. Uyayiqonda into eyenza ungathembeki? Ngaba ucaphukiswa ngumntu ngokwakhe? Kwaye mhlawumbi sele utshise imini? Okanye ngaba ukhona ukhuseleko lwakho? Khangela ngaphakathi ngaphakathi kwaye mhlawumbi uza kubona iimpendulo kuzo zonke le mibuzo. Ungamangaleli umthandi wakho ngenxa yento engazange akwenze. Emva kwakho konke, impendulo kukuba, njani ukuba ungabi nomona lo mntu uhlala phezu kwayo - zithande wena, kwaye akukho mntu uyazama ukuphulaphula ubudlelwane bakho nobudlelwane obungenasidingo.