Mhlawumbi, akukho mntu uya kulwa nelokuba ukuba ubudlelwane beentsapho into ebalulekileyo yintando kunye nokuqonda. Kodwa kwenzeka ukuba iingcamango ezifanayo, iimvakalelo kunye neembono kwiingxaki-konke oku kuphuphuma kwindawo ethile emva kweminyaka embalwa emva komtshato. Yintoni ekufuneka yenziwe ukuseka ukuqonda phakathi kwentsapho, indlela yokufunda ukujonga ihlabathi ngamehlo omnye? Okanye, ukuba uyeke ukuqonda omnye umntu, ngoko yonke into ebudlelwaneni iya kuwela?
Indlela yokufumana ukuqonda phakathi kwentsapho?
Ukuze uphendule lo mbuzo, kuyimfuneko ukuqonda indlela ukuqonda ngokuvisisana kuvela phakathi kwabantu. Kuzama ukuthetha ukuba kubonakala ngokwakho, ngenxa yokuba, siwela ngothando, asenzi nantoni na ukuba siqonde umphefumlo wethu umlingane, yonke into iyahamba ngokwawo. Ngoko kutheni emva kwexesha elithile lobomi obudibeneyo kufuneka silisombulule ingxaki yokungabikho kokuqonda phakathi kwentsapho, kuphi na?
Enyanisweni, akukho nto idlulayo, nje xa ufumana indoda kunye nomfazi, kukho okubizwa ngokuba ngumgangatho oyintloko wokuqonda, ngokusekelwe kwiminqweno efanayo kunye neziqhotyoshelweyo. Kodwa xa abantu beqala ukuhlala kunye, bavulela omnye nomnye ukusuka kwinqanaba elitsha, kwaye ngoku bafanele basebenze ukufezekisa ukuqonda ngokubanzi ubudlelwane, kuba abanako ukufana neembono zabantu babini. Ngoko, ukuba usanda kuqalisa ukuxabana ngokukhawuleza kwaye ukhononda ngokungaqondakali kwesigamu sakho sesibini, akukho nto ibuhlungu apha, kufuneka uyeke kwaye ucinge ukuba kutheni oku kwenzekayo. Ukuze uqonde oku, qwa lasela la manqaku alandelayo.
- Ngokuqhelekileyo abantu ababini abakwazi ukuqondana ngenxa yokuba bengathethi ngeengxaki zabo kunye neminqweno. Qonda, kungakhathaliseki ukuba uhlakaniphile kangakanani, awukwazi ukufunda iingcamango zomnye. Ngoko ke, uyeka ukuthetha kunye neengcezu-zizathu, bonke baya kudibanisa. Thetha ngqo kwaye ngokucacileyo into oyithandayo nento ongayithandiyo, ilizwi lakho izifiso.
- Ukufezekisa ukuqonda ngokuvisanayo, iingqondo zengcebiso ukufunda ukuphulaphula omnye umntu, kodwa oku akunakwenzeka ukuba unxibelelwano lwenzeka kwiitoni eziphakamileyo. Sinokucinga ukuba siye saxelela intanda yethu amaninzi, yintoni ingxaki kwaye inomsindo ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba akazange ayithobele amazwi ethu. Kodwa le ngongoma ayikho ukungakhathaleli kwakhe, kodwa kwinto yokuba onke amabango awenziwe ngexesha lokuxabana. Kuba ngexesha lolo lwanxibelelwano akudingekile ukuba uqonde umxhumanisi, kodwa kuphela ukuphumelela ingxabano. Ngoko yonke into oyithethayo ayiyi kuthatyathwa ngokungathí sina.
- Iimpikiswano ezininzi ziqala kuba abantu abafumani nto abayifunayo kwiqabane (ubudlelwane). Ngamanye amaxesha ubunzima bubangelwa ngenxa yokungathobeli - asiyitsheli nje iqabane lakho
kuye silindele. Kwaye ngamanye amaxesha senza iimfuno eziphezulu kakhulu. Ngoko, hlalutya iminqweno yakho, cinga malunga nokuba ngaba kunjalo ngokwenene, okanye ukuba ufuna into kuphela ngenxa yokuba abanye banayo. - Cingisisa iimfuno zomnye. Khumbula ukuba iqabane lakho lilindele okuthile kuwe. Ukuqonda okuphakathi kwabantu kuxhomekeke kwindlela abazi ngayo ukuhlonela iiminqweno zomnye.
Njengoko sele usuqondayo, intloko yokuqonda ngokuvisanayo ikwazi ukukwenza uve uze ufune ukuphulaphula omnye umntu. Ngokubambisana, unokuhlala ufumana inketho enokuthi ihambelane zombini.