Ngaloo mini usisona sibini esihle kakhulu, sasingakwazi ukuhlala imihla ngemihla ngaphandle komnye kunye nokuxazulula yonke imicimbi yabo kunye. Kodwa ubomi benza izilungiso zabo, kwaye njengebhokisi elivela eluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka, isigwebo sathi: "Siqhawula!". Kodwa ngaba esi sigwebo, okanye isigidimi sosindiso? Ingaba le ngqungquthela ephawulekayo, njengokuba sicinga? Nantsi indlela yokusinda emva komtshato, siya kuthetha ngoku.
Indlela yokuzincama emva komtshato?
Into enjengokuqhawula umtshato iyabonakala kalula. Emva koko, oku akukudumala nje kumntu osondeleyo, kodwa kunye nokungabi nalutho olwenziwe kwisiza samava aqhelekileyo. Ukushiya kwi-destiny yethu kwaye ubomi obuncinane umntu othile obalulekileyo uhlala entlekele. Kodwa ngaba yinto eyoyikekayo njengoko ibukeka ngayo? Iingcali zengqondo zithi - emva kokuhlukana asihluphekanga kumntu ngokwakhe, kodwa ngenxa yendawo ayehlala kuyo ebomini bethu. Kodwa, ngelishwa, izitatimende ezinjalo aziyi kuphendula impendulo: "Indlela yokufumana umtshato?". Le meko iqhutyiswa yinto yokuba uluntu lwethu lubona umfazi oqhawulekileyo njengomntu onesihawu novelwano, kunokuba anike ithuba lokuba akholelwe ngokwakho kwaye abuyele kwidrama yengqondo. Yaye ukuba loo nto inganikezwa ngabanye, kufuneka yenziwe ngokwethu.
Ngokuqhelekileyo ubomi bomfazi emva kokuqhawula umtshato kuyinkqutyana yokulahla, kuqhubela phambili emsebenzini, okanye ngakumbi, ukuthatha inxaxheba kwimpilo yabantwana. Ngamanye amazwi, kukho nantoni na eyenza ukuphazamiseka kwiingcamango ezinzima okanye uzikhohlwe. Indlela yokuqala ubomi obuqhelekileyo emva kokuqhawula umtshato kunye nokuyeka ukucinga ngexesha elidlulileyo? Ukuqala, kubalulekile ukuthatha amanyathelo amanani amaninzi:
- ukuzola. Khawucinge ukuba uqhawulo lomtshato ngumsebenzi ongenakuphepheka kwaye ubalulekile ukususa isisu. Okokuqala kuyothusayo kwaye ibuhlungu. Emva koko i-anesthesia isetyenziswe, zonke izinto ezimbi ziyasuswa, kwaye intlungu ibuyele, kwaye uqhubeka uhlala njengokuba akukho nto iyenzekayo, kwaye ungayiqwalasela into yokuba ngaphakathi kwakho kukho utshintsho;
- ubomi obutsha emva kokuqhawula umtshato akufanele kuzaliswe isikhumbuzo sexesha elidlulileyo. Susa kwintsimi yakho yombono zonke izinto ezikhumbuza ngokungahambisani nomfazi wangaphambili. Iifoto ezidibeneyo, iimpahla zakhe kunye neetrinkets, eziye zanikwa zona ngesizathu esithile. Iziqulatho zingaqokelela kwibhokisi kwaye zilahlwe, kwaye izinto ezinkulu zinokutshintshiselwa okanye zinikezelwe kwabaswele. Ungesabi ukucoca ngokupheleleyo indlu kunye nobomi kwizinto zangaphambili;
- Ixesha ebelihlala ngumlingane wakho, kufuneka uzalise ngezinye izenzo. Funda ukubona ubomi kwimimandla eqaqambileyo yenkululeko. Ngoku unethuba lokuya kuthengwa, ukuya kuma-movie, kumabhayisikobho, ukudibana nabahlobo okanye ukubandakanya uhlobo oluthile lokuzonwabisa. Kuya kuba luncedo ukubeka ubomi bakho ngaphambi kokuba uqhawule umtshato kunye nangemva. Ngoko unokuqonda ukuba ungakanani ixesha lokukhulula;
- khumbula ukuba nayiphina imicimbi ebomini bethu ayithwali njengemibala engqondweni. Senze ubomi obunzima emva kokuqhawula umyeni wakhe, ngenxa yokuba esi siganeko saqhekeza inkqubo yobomi kwaye sasikhupha kwisigqi somnyaka. Kukulungele ukuhlalutya oko kwatshintshi emva kokuhlukana kwakho kunye nendlela ozuze ngayo kulo mcimbi.
Indlela yokuqala ubomi emva komtshato?
Inendima ebalulekileyo kwindlela yokuqalisa ubomi emva kokuqhawula umtshato kudlalwa yinyani eyayisungula ukutshatyalaliswa komtshato.
Ukuba umyeni ushiye wena, zama oku kulandelayo:
- Khawucinge ngomfanekiso womntu osekude naye. Khumbula ukuba ubuhlungu kunye neengxaki enokubangela. Uvakalelwa njani ngawe? Zingaphi iimbutho ozivelayo kuwe, ukhumbule umfanekiso wakhe?
- Cinga ukuba zonke iingxaki awazisile kuwe ebomini zenziwa kwisicelo sakho. Wena. Wena ngokwakho wabuza ngale ndlela ukuba akufundise into ethile.
- Ngelizwi langaphakathi, bhekisa kumfanekiso wendoda yakhe kwaye ubuze oko wakufundile kwiimeko awadalwa zona. Ngokuqinisekileyo uya kuliva impendulo.
- Mbulela ngokwenene umyeni ngezinto azenzileyo, wazama ukuba ngumfundisi olungileyo.
- Hlaziya, uziva ntoni ngoku?
Enye inqubo iya kukunceda kwimiba ukuba uqalise ukupheliswa komtshato, kodwa awazi ukuba ungaphila emva komtshato. Kwakhona kwenziwa njengento yangaphambili, kodwa ngokuchanekileyo:
- Khawucinge ngomntu owayengumlingane naye kunye nentlungu oye wamenza wahlukana naye.
- Ngemizuzwana embalwa, cinga ukuba ngale ndlela ucele ukuba umfundise into ethile.
- Buza umbuzo owamfundisayo ebuhlotsheni bakho kunye naye, noko wazifunda wena.
- Ndiyabulela umlingane wangaphambili ukuba ube ngumfundi ongcono.
- Hlaziya iimvakalelo zakho malunga nomyeni wakho wangaphambili.
Phantse umfazi wesibini ucinga malunga nendlela yokuphila emva komtshato. Umgaqo ophambili kule meko akayi kuphelelwa kwaye uzama ukufumana iprosti kwinto eyenzekayo. Ubomi abupheli apho. Iphela idlula kwinqanaba elitsha ngokusisiseko. Kwaye kuxhomekeke kuwe ukuba uya kuvuya. Jonga ubomi ngokuqinisekileyo, akupheli. Kwaye kwenye indawo ngaphaya kwelo xesha, ulungiselele ezinye izinto ezintle.