Kwimpilo yabo bonke abesifazana, kungekudala okanye kamva kufika ixesha xa eqonda ukuba akanalo into ebuhlotsheni bakhe nomyeni wakhe okanye indoda yakhe ethandekayo. Zininzi izizathu zolu rhulumente. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba yintoni eyenza ulwabelana ngesondo ngendlela enjalo, abaninzi bethu baqala ukuthetha bathi: "Ndiza kufumana umthandi." Kulungile okanye akunakulungele ukuba lo mfazi enze isigqibo. Kodwa yintoni eyenza abesifazane bafumane umthandi-lo mbandela usebenza kwiingcali ezininzi.
"Ndifuna ukufumana umthandi!"
Abasetyhini abaninzi banakho ukuthetha, kodwa akubona bonke abakwazi ukuguqulela into efunwayo. Ingxoxo iyintetho, kwaye kuphela umfazi onesibindi kwaye onqabileyo unokubeka ulonwabo kwintsapho. Ngoko kutheni umfazi ecinga ukuba "Ndifuna ukutshintsha umyeni wam!"? Iingcali zengqondo zihlukanisa izizathu ezintathu eziphambili zokubangela ukuba umfazi atshintshe:
- Okwesithathu ukuvakalelwa kwintsha.
- Ingxaki ebomini bentsapho.
- Ukungabikho kwengqalelo kumyeni wakhe.
Ebomini, abaninzi abafazi baqala ukukhangela abathandekayo kungekudala emva kweminyaka emi-5 yobomi bentsapho. Abasetyhini abafuna abancinci abancinci badla ukunganeliseki kakhulu kunye nabo kunye nobomi babo. Oku kuya kwenzeka xa ubomi bentsapho bubodwa, kwaye ngamnye umtshato uxakeke kunye nezoshishino zabo. Xa iingxoxo ezinde kunye nobusuku obunomdla azibalulekanga kakhulu kumyeni, ibhinqa lifuna umthandi.
Kutheni ufuna umthandi kwaye ufuna into nantoni na?
Ngaphambi kokwenza uphando lokwenene, ngamnye umfazi kufuneka afumane iimpendulo kule mibuzo. Ekubeni ukuba emva kokuxhatshazwa kokuqala nomnye umntu uhlushwa ngenxa yokuzisola, akayi kufumana ukwaneliseka, ngokuziphatha okanye ngokomzimba. Ngokuqhelekileyo, iintengiso "Ukufuna umthandi omncinane" kuthetha oku okulandelayo:
- Umthandi ofunekayo kwisini. Ukuba ubudlelwane bezesondo kunye neqabane liye laphela kwaye libuyiselwe ukukhanya okwangaphambili akufunyanwanga, abafazi bayagqiba kwelo nyathelo;
- Umthandi uyadinga ukunxibelelana. Kule meko, imeko yinto echasene nayo - embhedeni nomyeni wakhe konke kulungelelaniswa, kodwa akukho nto yokuthetha ngayo. Kwimeko apho, umfazi otshatileyo ufuna umthandi ukuba athulule umphefumlo wakhe, wabelane ngokuvuya kunye nosizi, thethana;
- Umthandi ofunekayo kwincwadi entsha. Eli thuba liye labonakala kubasetyhini banamhlanje kungekudala. Nge-intanethi, abaninzi abafazi banelisekile imizobo yabo yesondo kunye neemfuno zabo zokuxoxa ngokomoya. Le ndlela, kwakhona, iyona yokhuseleko kwaye ingenasisiseko kwintsapho yolonwabo.
Uphi na indlela yokufumana umthandi?
Lo mbandela ujongene nabasetyhini abaninzi abaye bagqiba kwimicimbi yokungabikho komtshato. Enyanisweni, kubasetyhini banamhlanje - oku akuyona ingxaki. Into ephambili kukuba lo mntu kufuneka athembeke. Fumana umthandi unokufumana i-intanethi okanye kwindawo nayiphi na indawo. Kucetyiswa ukuba awunalo ulwazi olufanayo, kwaye umthandi unempawu ezilandelayo:
- kwakungekho ncokola kakhulu;
- Ndakwazi ukulandela iimfuno zakho - ukuba ungathumele imilayezo yothando kwaye ungabiza;
- Kwakulula ukuthetha;
- Ndandiqonda ukuba ubomi bentsapho bukwimeko ephezulu ngaphezu kobudlelwane nayo;
- wayenomdla wokuhlala ngesondo;
- wayenomdla wokuzonwabisa;
- ukuba angatshatanga.
Iingcali zengqondo kwihlabathi lonke licebisa ukuba ngaphambi kokuzama ukufumana umthandi, zama ukubuyisela ilahlekileyo kunye nomlingane womthetho. Ukuba umfazi ufuna umthandi, ngoko kufuneka aqonde ukuba oku kuyingozi kakhulu intsapho yakhe yolonwabo. Ngokwemvelo, ukudibanisa nomnye umntu-kulula, kodwa kungcono ukuzama ukwenza ubudlelwane nomyeni wakho ngokucacileyo nangomdla. Oku kunceda ukuqinisa inyunyano yentsapho kunye nesibambiso seminyaka edibeneyo yolonwabo.