Ngabantu, njengabasetyhini, kunzima ukufumana ulwimi olufanayo okokuqala. Ukuze ufumane izihloko ezifanelekileyo zengxoxo kunye nendoda, akumele ulibale malunga nemithetho ephambili yokunxibelelana kunye nesini esahlukileyo . Ibhinqa elinomfazi kulula ukufumana umhlaba oqhelekileyo, kuba zombini zidalwe ngendalo enye xa kuthelekiswa nendoda.
Ukuqala, ngaphambi kokuba siqonde amagama awabantu abathandayo , masibuyele kwiingcebiso eziphambili malunga nokusebenza kwengqondo kunye ne-Adams:
- Amadoda adinga uxhulumano oluncinane kunabesifazane. Uninzi lwabasetyhini alubacebisi amaqabane abo xa babelana ngemibono yabo ngosuku oludlulileyo. Ngamanye amaxesha kufuneka umise ngexesha elifanelekileyo, de kube umntu wakho engekho kuye.
- Musa ukulibala malunga nenjongo yoqhagamshelwano lwakho. Ngokuqhelekileyo, oku kufana namadoda. Kodwa, ukuba ufuna ukufunda indlela yokuthetha kakuhle nendoda, yakha injongo yentetho yakho. Ukuba intetho yakho "ayikho into," ngokukhawuleza ulumkise iqabane malunga nokunyaniseka kwengxoxo, akufanele ikhangele kuyo izicelo, imibuzo okanye naziphi na izicatshulwa.
- U libale i i ngcebiso. Yinyani eyaziwayo ukuba indoda ingayiqondi kakuhle into, okanye ayiboni kwiibinzana zakho. Kunzima kakhulu kumadoda avela kwizinto ezili-25 ozidweliswe kwimaminithi engama-30, funda umgca we-26 phakathi kwemigca. Kwabo, into ongayithethi, ngokucacileyo kwingxoxo, ayikho. Khumbula ukuba ukuba unxibelelwano olungcono kunye nesini esahlukileyo, uthethe ngqo malunga neminqweno yakho, malunga neemeko zobomi. Musa ukumbandezela ngezahlulelo zomlomo.
- Sebenzisa iindlela ezahlukeneyo zoqhagamshelwano. Amadoda akwazi ukusebenzisa eso sicwangciso ekunxibelelaneni, oko kukubona kwakho, kuya kubonakala kunzima.
Yintoni oyithethayo kumntu?
Njengoko ububulumko baseMpuma luthi, "Ngona amazwi amnandi kakhulu anokukholisa inyoka eyona mbi", ngoko, akusayi kuze kube lula ukufumanisa ukuba yintoni amagama athetha kumntu.
- Umntu akanakwenzeka ukuba avume ukuthetha ngezinto ezithengiweyo, izaphulelo, ubudlelwane obuhlukeneyo kunye nemisebenzi yasekhaya. Baya kufumana izihloko ezinjalo "malunga nento". Amadoda athambekele ekuxubusha izinto eziyinyaniso okanye ezo ziza kuzibona ngokukhawuleza, malunga nebhola, ezopolitiko, njl. Yiyo ke, akusiwo onke amabhinqa angakwazi ukuxhasa ngempumelelo intetho enjalo, kodwa khumbula ukuba unokuba ngumphulaphuli obalaseleyo.
- Khumbula ukuba emva komntu wonke umntu ophumelelayo ngumfazi omthandayo. Thetha nge mpu melelo. Mkhuthaze ngamazwi akho.
- Abasetyhini abaninzi bathambekele ekuxoxeni izicwangciso zabo ngokuzwakalayo, okungadibanisa iqabane lakho. Amadoda afana nalolu ayingqayizivele, azicingela wona, angayithathi yokubukela esidlangalaleni, kodwa kuphela ngokuvakalayo kwisigqibo esamkelweyo. Amadoda ayicatshulwa kungekhona ngentetho yabomfazi ngamabomu.
- Mhlawumbi uqaphele ukuba amanye amadoda athetha incinci ukuphazamisa umnxibelelwano, ngaphandle kokucinga ukuba lo mva unokushukusa. Ukuba umnxibelelwano wakho unyanzelekile ukuphazamisa phakathi kwesivakalisi, sebenzisa amaqhinga akhe. Kukho into eyenzekayo kuwe, ngoko uthi ngesibindi.
- Ubunzima bomntu ekuqwalaseleni kukuqala kwemizuzu eyi-10 ukuya kwe-15 yokunxibelelana. Ekuqaleni ukuphulaphula ngokunyamekelayo. Ungaze uqale ingxoxo ngamagama angaphambili, uye ngqo ngqo kwindawo, uxhomekeke kwisihloko somnxibelelwano.
Yintoni engenakuthi kumntu?
- Akuyimfuneko kumntu ukwabelana lonke uluhlu lweemvakalelo zabo malunga nento ethile. Khumbula ukuba bonke abantu bavakalelwa iimvakalelo zabo ngaphakathi kwaye, kwakhona, bathi ngokuzwakalayo kuphela umphumo wokugqibela: "Ndifuna - andifuni," njl njl
- Musa ukubiza umnqweno wakho naluphi na amagama okunyanzelisa xa usendaweni kawonkewonke.
- Ulibale ibinzana elithi "Uthembisile." Qinisekisa into ofuna ukuyithetha. Kungcono ukuthetha ngokuthe ngqo kunokuba unelisekile.
- Musa ukucaphukisa izinto ezithandwayo, bonisa intlonipho kuye, kuqala, njengomntu.
Ngomntu ngamnye unokufumana indawo efanayo. Into ephambili kukuqonda i-psychology yokuthetha nabantu.