Ngokwenza nayiphi na ibini kuneziganeko ezinobungozi xa umona wesikhwele kukhona izihlazo kunye nokuxabana. Makhe sizame ukufumana impendulo kumbuzo onzima: Ngaba umona unobulungisa okanye umbi?
Uninzi lwabantu lukholelwa ukuba umona onobudlelwane amancinci uya kuzuza ubuhlobo. Ukugubha ngokomzwelo, ukunyuka kweemvakalelo kunye namandla, ukuqonda ukuba iindlela ezizithandayo zithandana. Emva koko, ngokuqhelekileyo, ukuzola kunye nokulinganisa ubomi kufuna, ngamanye amaxesha, ukuxabana okuncinci, ukwenzela ukuba iimvakalelo zivuseleleke kwaye zibe zikhanya ngakumbi. Kodwa iimeko ezinjalo zinokuzuza kuphela xa zingenqabile kwaye izibonelelo zomona zibonakala. Kwiimeko ezininzi, ubukhwele obugqithiseleyo bubonakalisa ubuhlobo.
Umona utshabalalisa njani ubudlelwane?
Ikhwele ngumntu osola ngayo umlingane ngokunyaniseka kunye nokungathandabuzeki kwiimvakalelo zakhe ngawe. Loo mvakalelo kufuneka ube neengxaki ezimbi, kuba ngenxa yesikhwele, izibini ziyahlukana, iintsapho ezivuyayo ziyawa, iimvakalelo ziyaphela. Ukuba ucinga ubukhwele kwinqanaba elungileyo, ke lo mvakalelo uqondiswa umnqweno wokuphucula ubudlelwane nomntu oyintanda kunye nokudala umgaqo othembekileyo. Ngendlela, yinyaniso engqiniswanga yenzululwazi yokuba kwabanye abantu ubukhwele buya kwandisa intloko kunye nezifo ziqala.
Ikhwele lidibanisa inzondo, inzondo, ukuzithemba, intukuthelo nesihawu. Ngexesha elifanelekileyo lomona, umntu ubonisa inzondo kumthandi wakhe, umlingani kunye naye. Kufuneka uqaphele ngokucacileyo ukuba ngale ndlela, ufumana umona, uncedisa ngokubambisana ekudaleni inxantathu yothando.
Umthetho wokukhangwa kwendalo ilula kakhulu: zonke iingcamango zethu zibonakala ngokwenene. Ngoko ke, ngaphantsi ucinga malunga ne-negative - kungenakwenzeka. Qaphela, ngaphezu koko, malunga nokuhlambuluka kweengcamango zakho - nokuba kunjani na, ungakhangeli kwelinye iqela, "abemi bezinye izizwe" besini esahlukileyo.
Inzondo ingakhuselekanga kunye nokungabikho kokungabikho kwinqanaba elincinci. Ukuba ucinga ukuba abakhethiweyo banako ukutshintshela omnye umntu, unokufuna ukuqeqeshwa okukhethekileyo ekujoliseni ukuzithemba nokuzithemba. Umntu obhekene nobunzima obuncinci obangela ukuba iqabane lakhe liqalise ukukhangela iimpawu ezingekho phantsi kwabanye abantu kwicala.
Ekuqaleni, kufuneka uziqonde kwaye ulahlekise ezi nkathazo ezinobungozi obomi bakho obuhle. Uze uqale ukuzihlonipha, uxabiso kwaye uthande, akukho mntu uza kuqala ukubonisa le mizwa kuwe. Yenza into yokuba ungumntu omangalisayo kwaye onamandla, onamandla kwaye onobuchule. Ubomi buyakuxhasa kwaye buthumela uthando olufanayo, kwaye kufuneka uhlakulele ubudlelwane obuhambelana nawe, ngokubambisana nomphefumlo wakho. Vumelana ukuba uhlala nomntu oyintanda ngoxolo noxolo, mthembise kwaye uthembele ekuhlambulukeni kwengcamango yakhe yinto yolonwabo ngokwenene. Funda ukuzithandela ngokwenene, ukunyaniseka uze uzame ukuphucula.
Kufuneka ukhumbule ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba umona kukuba ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa ngumhlobo wakho. Ngaba uyaqonda ukuba umntu akayiyo impahla yakho? Ukuba unesihawu, kufuneka uguqule abanye abantu, ngakumbi-kubantu abasondeleyo. Kufuneka uqonde ukuba uthando kunye nococekileyo luyisipho esivela ngasentla, ngoko uphatha ngokucophelela ukuvala abantu kunye nokunyamekela ubuhlobo bakho. Zisebenze ngokwakho, zama ukulawula iimvakalelo zakho eziphazamisayo kwaye ungabonakali ubugwenxa, intukuthelo nenzondo kubathandekayo bakho kunye nabanokubambisana nabo. Qiniseka ukuba uthembele wakho othandekayo, kuba oku kukubonakalisa kakuhle kweemvakalelo zakho. Yamkela inyaniso elula: awuyi kuphinda ulahlekelwe yinto engeyena ipropati yakho.