Phakathi kwazo zonke izono ezibulalayo, abaninzi abashumayeli bajonga ukuzingca okukhulu. Abaninzi baya kuthi, yintoni na isono salo, indoda engenakudla, nanko i-kissel. Oku kunjalo ngokwenene, ngoko kukufanelekile ukukhumbula ukungafani phakathi kwekratshi nekratshi. Yiyo, nangona kunzima kakhulu ukufumana umgca ococekileyo ohlukanisa ukuqhosha nokuzingca. Kodwa ingafunyanwa, ngaphezu koko, kuyimfuneko yokwenza oku, kungenjalo indlela yokulahla ukuzikhukhumeza?
Iqhayiya lihluke njani kwiqhayiya?
Kwimiphakathi yanamhlanje, ukuzingca kunye nokuzingca kudla ngokudideka, kwaye ukuxhalaba kukuba ukuzingca kuthathwa njengesicatshulwa, kwaye ingcamango yokuzikhukhumeza ithathelwa ngamagama amahle kunye nesifiso sobuqu kunye nokuzithemba. Ngoko yintoni inqhayiya efana nayo kwaye ihluke njani kwiqhayiya?
Masiqale, mhlawumbi, ngekratshi. Akunakuphi na umntu oza kuthetha ukuba le mvakalelo iyimfuneko kunoma yimuphi umntu. Ngaphandle kokwazisa ukuzithemba, akukho buntu, umntu onjengebholuni, apho nayiphi na umoya onokudlala, kwaye nabani na onokuyihlaba. Uyakuthi, kodwa kuthekani ukuba umntu ukhetha indlela yokuthobeka, kutheni kufuneka abe nekratshi? Ufuna le mvakalelo ngaphezu komntu wonke, kuba ukuziqonda kuphela kukuvumela ukuba aphakamise ngaphezu kwazo zonke iintlungu kwaye axolelane nabo. Isizathu sokuzikhukhumeza sininzi, umntu akanakuziqhenela kungekuphela kweempumelelo zakhe, kodwa nakwezinye iziphumo zabantu, isikhundla kwilizwe lakhe.
Yintoni ikratshi, ziziphi iimpawu zayo, kutheni kudla ukudideka ngokuqhosha? Mhlawumbi, ngenxa yokuba le mvakalelo ivela kwiqhayiya, ngumntwana onobungozi. Ukuzithemba kuba ngumlinganiselo ogqithiseleyo wobugovu kunye ne-narcissism. Umntu, onokutshatyalaliswa ngokuzikhukhumeza, akakhathaleli ngeemvakalelo kunye nengcamango zabanye abantu, unako "ukuhamba phambili" kwiinjongo zakhe. Nanku ukuzingca nokuthobeka akuhambelaniyo - ukumkela, kuthetha ukufana nabantu bonke, abantu abahluphekayo nabangenamsebenzi. Hayi, ukuziqhenya akuyi kuvumela oku, akhathalele intlungu yabanye abantu, into ephambili kukuba i-ego engabalulekanga, umgcini we-vice, igcinwe. Ewe, yonke le miqondiso isele isigaba sokugqibela, kuya kuba nzima ukujamelana nekratshi njengokuba kukho nawuphi na udidi olubi oluye lwaba yinkcaso.
Indlela yokujongana nekratshi nokuyitshintsha?
Abantu bokomoya ababizi ngekratshi inkohlakalo yabantu, bazama ukwanelisa iziqheno, abantu benza izinto ezimbi. Ngoko ungayiphula njani le mpazamo, njani ukunqoba ukuzingca?
- Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukuqhosha kuvela kubantu abangenalo uthando lomzali ebuntwaneni. Abaqinisekanga kakhulu kwiimpawu zabo kwaye bafihla le ntliziyo ngokuziphakamisa ngamabomu ngaphezu kwabanye. Ukuzikhusela kule meko kuyindlela yokukhusela ebamba umntu osengozini ekuhlekeleni. Ndingayinqoba njani inqhayiya kule meko? Kufuneka uqonde ukuba wonke umntu uyangalunganga kwaye uzenze okulungileyo. Yeka ukwesaba indlela okhangele ngayo emehlweni abantu. Zithande kwaye ukholelwe ukuba abanye banokukuthanda xa ubapha ithuba. Umntu ositywinwe kwinqaba lokuzikhukhumeza, akunakwenzeka ukuba uyithande. Ngaphambi kokuba abantu abanjalo, ingakumbi abo banamandla, banokugcoba, banokugcoba kwaye baqhekeze, befuna iingqondo zabo zonke iintlobo zezinto ezimbi kwintloko yentloko.
- Funda ukuhlonipha abanye abantu, vumelani ukuba banabantu abanetalente kakhulu. Kwaye nokuba unobungqiqo kwindawo enye, khumbula ukuba kunokubekho umntu onetalente kwaye uphumelele kunako. Ngoko ke, ixesha kufuneka lisetyenziswe kungekhona ekuzibongeni, kodwa ekuzikhuleni, ukwenzela ukuba usoloko uthi ungomnye weengcali ezilungileyo kwintsimi yakho.
- Kude kube nini ukwazi ukuva omnye umntu? Sonke siyazi ukungaziboni iimvakalelo zabanye abantu, isimo sengqondo kwingxaki, ekugqibeleni kuphela amaqiniso abuze. Olu buchule luyigugu, kwaye kwezinye izakhono ngaphandle kwalo, kwaye ungenzi nto, into ephambili ayikulibala ukuba uvakalelwa njani nabanye. Ukuba unako ukuqonda umdibaniselwano,
uzibeke endaweni yakhe, ngoko ukuzingca entliziyweni yakho akuyi kuhlala. - Sidla ngokuphila ngentando yoluntu, ngokuxhomekeka kwiingcamango. Kodwa abafanelekanga kuwo wonke umntu, musa ukwesaba ukuphula le sikhokelo, zama ukungaqhubekiyo inyoka kumaborarha amancinci kwezinye iimbono zabantu ebomini, kodwa ukufumana ukukhanya okungapheliyo. Khumbula ukuba ukuzimela ngabanye kungekhona umphumo wokuzikhukhumeza, konke malunga nendlela oya kugxininisa ngayo.
- Qaphela umzabalazo nokuzikhukhumeza-ngaphandle kwayo naphi na. Ngoko ke, qaphela kwaye ungabandakanyeki ekuzithobeni, ngenxa yokuba kukhokelela kwesinye isono sokufa-ukuphazamiseka.