Ngubani ongayiva inqaku elithi "Umfazi kufanele azithande"? Kodwa yinto enjalo ngokwenene, bambalwa kakhulu abantu abazi. Abanye abantu abayiqondi isizathu sokuba bathande ngokwabo, becinga ukubonakalisa ukuzingca kunye ne-narcissism.
Ngaba kufuneka ndizithande?
Luhlobo luni lombuzo, ewe, olufunekayo! Amantombazana amaninzi ayonwabanga kuphela kuba awazi ukuba angafunda njani ukuzithandayo. Ngubani na onokumthanda, ukuba akunjalo? Indoda ethandekayo, unina, uyise, abantwana, ngokudabukisayo, banobomi babo kwaye kukho ixesha apho bengenako. Kodwa ubuntu bethu nomzimba wethu unathi ukususela ekuzalweni kuze kube sekufeni, kwaye akukho ndawo yokuphuma kuyo. Yaye ngubani na ofanelwe uthando - "umgibeli wesikhashana" okanye "ummi osisigxina"? Impendulo iyabonakala - kufuneka uzithande.
Kuthetha ukuthini ukuzithanda wena?
Njengoko sele sichazwe ngasentla, abaninzi banokuzidibanisa uthando lwabo kunye nokubonakaliswa kobugovu obuphezulu, kodwa oku akunjalo. Kuthetha ukuthini igama elithi "thanda wena"?
- Oku akukuzibongi kwaye ungaziphakamisi ngaphezu kwamanye. Ukuzithanda kukuba ukwazi ukuba awunzima kunabanye, ukuze ukwazi ukufezekisa yonke into abaye baphumelela ngayo emsebenzini wakho.
- Ukuzithanda ngokwakho kukuvuma umzimba wakho njengoko kunjalo. Ukuzama ukulungelelanisa akuvumelekile, kodwa ngoku kuyafaneleka ukuba uqonde ukuba isisu sakho esithambileyo kunye neentambo ezijikelezayo zihle. Iifom zezilwanyana okanye umfanekiso oyingqungquthela-konke akubalulekanga, ubuhle buhlala emacaleni akho amehlo, ngoxolo, emphefumlweni wakho. Ulungile, kholwa kum, ekugqibeleni, kuyo!
- Ukuzithandana kukuhlola ngokucokisekileyo kwamakhono akho. Kufuneka uqonde oko unako ukukwenza, kunye nento ongenakuyenza. Asikwazi ukuba netalente kuzo zonke iindawo - umntu othanda ukuthetha kunye nokukwazi ukuthengisa nayiphi na imveliso, umntu uyazi amahlaya amaninzi kwaye uyazi ukuba ungathembela kunoma ubani, kwaye ungadli bani na ngesonka, vele unike ingoma. Kwaye emva kokuba bonke banike, kwaye emva koko beve, bephethe umoya. Vula italente yakho, ujonge izinto ozenzayo, kwaye ungazami ukunqoba iintaba ezikude kakhulu nawe.
Indlela yokufunda ukuzithanda ngokuchanekileyo?
Ekubeni sagqiba ekubeni ukuthanda thina kulungile, simele siqonde indlela yokuqalisa ukuyenza.
- Kungakhathaliseki ukuba uzama kangakanani, awukwazi ukuziphoqa ukuba uthande. Kukho iindlela ezimbini-nokuba ufunda ukuzivuma ngokwakho, okanye uqale ngokukhawuleza ukuba usebenze kanzima kuzo zonke iintsilelo.
- Ukuba awukwazi ukujamelana neempawu zakho ezimbi ngokubonakala okanye umlingani, oku kungakho umphumo wokungazinzi uthando. Uzama ukuzitshiza isisu esisisigxina okanye ufumane iinqabana ezincinci, ugxininise ekukhangiseni, ungaqapheli ukuba kuyimfuneko (ayimfuneko) kuwe. Ungaqala njani ukuzithanda kule meko? Yiya kwisibuko esikhulu ngosuku lokuphuma, xa kungekho mntu uphazamisayo, kwaye ngokunyanisekileyo uyamhlonela yonke into emzimbeni wakho. Zama ukufumana iimpawu ezintle kwimbonakalo yakho kunye nomlingiswa. Umele ulwe ukulungiswa kwamanye amaxesha obuntu bakho kuphela xa ufuna, kungekho imfashini okanye intombi entsha.
- Ungaqala njani ukuthanda nokuzihlonela wena, ukuba awuguquli ukuzithemba kwakho? Ngokuqhelekileyo sixelelwa ukuba asikho ngcono kunabanye. Mhlawumbi oku kuyinyaniso, kodwa asibi kakhulu. Uninzi lwethu alukwazi ukuvula iitalente zabo kuphela ngenxa yokungabi nantembelo. Xa sithembele ngathi, sinokukwenza okuninzi, kodwa ke sinokubanika uthando lwethu kwabanye. Kuphela umntu ozithandayo ngokwakhe unokwabelana ngala mazwi. Lowo ongenalo uthando yena ngokwakhe akakwazi ukuthanda umntu - akwazi nje ukuba uthando luni.
- Ukufezekisa iinjongo, ngamanye amaxesha kufuneka uhlawulele into ethile. Ukwazi ukuqonda xa le mfuneko ifunekayo, kwaye xa unako ukwenza ngaphandle kwabo. Ukunyamekela iimfuno zomzimba kuyisicwenge kwaye akunakukhokelela kuyo nayiphi na into entle. Khangela ezo zidlo,
ukuba awuyena umthwalo, ufunde iincwadi ezinomdla kuwe ngokuzakhela, uzinxibe izinto ezifanelana nomfanekiso wakho, kwaye ingengubo ephakamileyo yefashoni. - Indlela yokufunda ukuzithanda wena? Qonda nje ukuba untle - umphefumlo nomzimba, ukuba uthwele ukukhanya kunye nolonwabo kwabanye kwaye uzama ukwenza konke okuxhasa eli lizwe. Ngaba ujabulela ubugcisa? Ngoko musa ukoyika ukunika ixesha. Ngaba unqwenela ukugqoka okanye ukuya kwiidonesi zokuhle? Mkhulu, musa ukucinga ukuba oku kakubi. Yenza into eyenza ujabule, kuba nje unako ukwabelana ngeemvakalelo ezilungileyo kunye nehlabathi, oko kuthetha ukuba uya kuvuya ngakumbi.