Uthando luvakalelo olunengcamango oluneempawu ezahlukileyo kunye nembali yokubonakala: ezinye ziqhathanisa ukuvela kwayo kunye "nesiteleka sombane", njengotshani olukhawuleza olukhanyisa ubomi, lunikeza intsingiselo entsha. Abanye balinganisa uthando kunye ne-germ, eyaphuma ngokuhamba kwexesha, ibe yintyatyambo enhle, ngenxa yobomi obuphi na umzamo omkhulu owenziwe ngamaqabane omabini: ukunyamekela, ukuxhathisa izithintelo kunye nomsebenzi wengqondo.
Nangona le mibono ehlukileyo yekhadi, zonke iintlobo zothando zinezinto eziqhelekileyo: le yintsholongwane engabonakaliyo kwaye ingenakuqikelela ukuba ukunyamalala kunye nesimo asikwazi ukuqikelela. Ngako oko, abaninzi banenkxalabo malunga nendlela yokugcina uthando lobomi, banikezele zonke iinguqu ezingenakuqikelelwa zexesha elizayo ezingabinokuziqinisa, kwaye zingenanto.
Indlela yokugcina uthando ukusuka kude?
Ukuba ukubonakala kothando kunokunxulumaniswa nokufa okunokuthi kungathinteka, ngoko kunokwenzeka ukwandisa lobomi ngokuthanda kwayo. Mhlawumbi kwindawo ephosakeleyo kakhulu uthando lude. Indlela yokugcina uthando, kwindawo yokuqala, kufuneka ivuse intliziyo, kodwa kukho ezinye iinkohliso ezikhoyo kwiindawo zonke. Ekubeni apha sithetha ngothando, kungekhona ubudlelwane, siya kugxininisa kwisimo sangaphakathi somthandi:
- nethemba lokuhlangana kwakhona. Kukho uthando olungabonakaliyo, oluhlala iminyaka emininzi, xa umntu engathembeli ukuba uya kuhlangana nomnye othandekayo. Nangona kunjalo, kwiimeko ezininzi, abantu ukuze balondoloze le mvakalelo, kufuneka ukwazi ukuba ngelinye ilanga umthandayo uya kuba kufuphi;
- elidlulileyo okanye elizayo. Ukuba abantu babonwabile ngaphambi kokuba bahlukane, ngamanye amaxesha kufuneka uphendukele kule nkumbulo, uxhaswe "kwi tonus" umfanekiso okhanyayo wento yokudumisa. Ukuba akukho dlu lidlulileyo, kufuneka udibanise ingcamango uze uphendule kwikamva elizayo: cinga ukuba kuya kuba njani kunye kunye, yenza izicwangciso, uphile njengomntu othandayo. Kodwa apha kukho umngcipheko wokungena kwiingcinga ezingenanto, ngoko akufuneki ukuba kwiindawo ezinjalo ixesha elide.
Indlela yokugcina uthando kumtshato?
Ngelishwa, ukuqhawula umtshato akuqhelekanga kwixesha lethu: linxulumene neengxaki zemihla ngemihla, xa onke amandla amalingane asetshenziselwa isisombululo sabo, kunye nenyaniso yokuba imfihlelo eyashukumisa imvakalelo yothando, kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo, ngexesha elitshintsha bonke. Ukuba uthelekisa abantu ababini okwangoku, uze ukhangele emva kwexesha elidlulileyo, uze uqhathanise, ngoko kuya kwenzeka ukuba baya kuba ngabantu abahlukileyo. Ukususela kumazwi athi "Ndiyakuthanda" kumbuzo othi "njani ukugcina uthando lomyeni" uhlala malunga neminyaka emihlanu: isibini esitshatileyo, abantwana babonakala, yonke into iyatshintsha ngaphandle kweendlela zobudlelwane. Ngoko ke, ukuze ufunde indlela yokugcina uthando kwintsapho, kufuneka uqaphele kuqala ulwalamano, kungekhona iimvakalelo:
- ukongeza iindidi. Iingcebiso zibonakala zingabonakali, kodwa ngaphandle kwayo yonke indawo: ukuba uthengela "bytovuhe", ngoko ke uthando oluqinileyo luya kuphuphuma: akuyi kuba neendawo ezintliziyweni zakho. Iimbiza kunye neenkathalo, ezifana 'nokwenza ukulungiswa kwindawo yokuhlambela,' akukho xesha lokubona uthando lwakho ngomntu. Ngoko ke, makungabi nendawo yokuhlala indlu yakho, kodwa ukuxhasa imvakalelo kwinqanaba elifanelekileyo kuyimfuneko: ngubani ofuna indlu ecocekileyo ngaphandle kwentlalo kuyo?
- kuvela. Ukutshintsha kwexesha akufanele kube sisizathu sokulibala ngokubonakala kwintle. Bobabini nabesifazana "bathanda" ngamehlo, indlebe kunye nokuthintela, ngoko ke isibini sihlala sibukeka sihle, siphunga kakuhle kwaye sinesihloko esinomdla kwintetho, ukuze singanyanyi.
- utshintsho oluqhubekayo kubuntu. Ukuze indoda nomfazi babonise umdla omnye komnye, kufuneka babonise umdla kubo. Khangela umdlalo, tshintsha, funda izinto ezintsha, kwaye kubaluleke kakhulu - ungakulibali ukwabelana naye kunye neqabane.
Indlela yokulondoloza uthando ngobudlelwane obungasemva komtshato?
"I-Achille" isithendeleko "sobudlelwane obude obude besuka kumtshato kukuba abafikeleli kwisigqibo esinengqiqo - umanyano osemthethweni kunye nokuzalwa kwabantwana. Ngoko ke, impendulo yombuzo othi "njani ukugcina iimvakalelo kwezobuhlobo?" Kule meko kulula: kufuneka uqhubeke nokuphuhlisa. Ingqondo, sondela, umise umtshato, uze ukhulise abantwana. Ubudlelwane "obunqamlekileyo" kwinqanaba elithile, banomngcipheko omkhulu wokuphela ngenxa yokuba amaqabane angenakucamngca aya kucinga ngeemvakalelo zabo ezingenasiphelo, ezibangelwa nto.
Njani ukuqinisa uthando?
Iingcali zengqondo zinikeza iingcebiso ezininzi malunga nendlela yokugcina kunye nokwenza uthando luqine:
- kunceda iqabane lihlakulele iimpawu ezintle;
- Ukuqhagamshelana rhoqo kunye nomnye, ukuseka ubudlelwane obusondelene;
- uzama ukwenza imisebenzi yasekhaya ndawonye: ukususela ekulungiseleleni isidlo sakusihlwa nokuphela kokukhethwa kwe-tiled edging;
- Ungazami ukutshintshana ngokubanzi: thola uthando njengoko kunjalo. Khumbula into eyenzekayo kumfazi omdala ovela kwingxelo yamagama malunga nomlobi kunye neentlanzi: wahlala kwindawo yokuphuka xa wayehlala efuna, efuna ngaphezulu. Funda ukuqonda oko unakho;
- luququzelele ukuzonwabisa okuqhelekileyo, okuya kuzisa uvuyo kubo bobabini.
Ukungathandabuzeki ukuphumelela kwale mabhunga akuyimfuneko, ngoko kunokuba ucinge ukuba ungayi kulahlekelwa njani uthando, yehla ukuya kwishishini: thandana, kwaye ujabulele lo mva, kwaye awuyi kufika phi na kuwe.