Uphando olutshanje lubonisa ukuba inani leentsapho zomzali ongabodwa liye landa inani elininzi kwiminyaka yamuva. Abantwana abakwazi ukuhlala bengabandakanyeli ukuqhubana phakathi kwabantu ababini abasondeleyo kubo. Bavame ukufumana ukuhlukana komzali kunzima kwaye bagcine ithemba lokuba uyise nomama baya kuba kunye kwakhona. Kanti, ngokuqhelekileyo ukwahlukana kwabazali kuvumela abantwana ukuba baphefumule. Ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukusabela okunjalo kubangelwa zizihlazo ezide kwintsapho. Abantwana banikezwa ububele besuka kwendalo, ngoko bahlala bekwazi ukubona ukuba abazali abanelisekile kunye.
Kukho nawuphi na, abazali kufuneka bazame ukunciphisa impembelelo embi yokuqhawula abantwana, oku:
- Yiba buhlungu. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba ziphi izizathu zokuqhawula umtshato, kufuneka ucinge malunga nendlela yokulungiselela umntwana ukuqhawula umtshato ngaphambili. Kubalulekile ukuba ngokuthe ngcembe kwaye ngokucacileyo uyichazele ukuba ngenxa yezizathu ezithile, umama noyise bathetha ukuhlala ngokuhlukileyo, kodwa oku akuyi kuphazamisa nayiphi na indlela abayithandayo ngayo. Isimo esinjalo siya kunceda ukunciphisa imiphumo emibi yokuqhawula abantwana.
- Hlonipha omnye nomnye. Xa uqhawulo lomtshato ingagwenywanga imibambano kwaye icacise ubuhlobo. Kodwa oku kufuneka uzame ukugcina umntwana. Ungazami ukuthobanisa emehlweni akhe. Ingqondo yengane kwinkqubo yokuqhawula umtshato injalo ukuba into engeyiyo emiselweyo ngaphandle komnye umzali inokudala ukuphikisana okunzima kumphefumlo womntwana.
Umbono womntwana malunga nento eyenzekayo xa uqhawula umtshato
Imbono yokuqhawula umtshato ixhomekeke kwiminyaka yomntwana.
Kubantwana abaneminyaka eyi-1,5-3, isithuba phakathi koomama noyise sinokubangela ukwesaba ukodwa, ukuguquka ngokukhawuleza kwimiba kunye nakwezinye izihlandlo. Indlela yokuchazela umntwana omncinci umtshato wabantwana? Ngenxa yokuba abantwana abakwazi ukuqonda ngokucacileyo iinjongo zokuqhuba abantu abadala. Ngokuqhelekileyo bazitsho ngokwabo ngokwenzekayo.
Abantwana abaneminyaka engama-3 ukuya ku-6 ubudala bahlala bexhalabele ukuba abanako ukuchaphazela imeko. Baxhalabile kwaye abaqinisekanga ngamandla abo.
Abantwana besikolo abaneminyaka engama-6 ukuya ku-12 ubudala banethemba lokuba bayakwazi "ukuxolelana" nabazali babo. Aba bantwana banombono wabo ngale meko, ngoko banokumangalela omnye wabazali malunga nento eyenzekayo. Ukuhamba koyise okanye umama kubo kukuxinzeleleka oku kunokubangela izifo ezahlukeneyo zomzimba.
Unokukunceda njani umntwana ngokuqhawula umtshato?
- ukuqinisekisa ukuba izalamane zingathathi hlangothi;
- zama ukuhlala ungumhlobo nomlingane wakho wokuqala;
- musa ukwenza umntwana wakho ibe yinto yokubambisana;
- kunika umntwana ngakumbi ingqalelo;
- kuphumla bonke ndawonye.
Nangona uyazi indlela yokuxelela umntwana ngokuchanekileyo ngomtshato, uya kuba noxinzelelo, oluya kuqhubeka iminyaka emi-2 okanye ngaphezulu. Iimpawu ziyahlukahluka ngokuxhomekeke kwiminyaka kunye nobume bomntwana: amaphupha amabi, ukunganakwa, iinyembezi, iimvakalelo, ukuthambekela kokuxabana, ukuxabana. Ngoko ke, bobabini abazali kufuneka bancede umntwana ukuba anqobe uxinzelelo, abe nesineke kwaye uguquke. Abanye abantwana abanokuqhawula umtshato bangafuna uncedo lwengqondo oluvela kubaqeqeshi.