"Ukutshata ngokungaqinisekiyo" - umgaqo wesikolo ococekileyo okanye umboniso wesini. Emva koko, kwamkeleka ukuba nayiphi na intombazana ifuna ukutshata, oku kungokoqobo injongo yakhe.
Kutheni abafazi befuna ukutshata?
Umbuzo kutheni amantombazana afuna ukutshata, adala njengenhlabathi, ngoko kuye kwaba ezininzi izifundo malunga nesi sihloko. Olu phuhliso lubonise iziphumo ezilandelayo.
- Kwindawo yokuqala (aba-30% abaphenduliweyo) kwavela ukuba abafazi bafuna ukufumana inkxaso nenkxaso kwixesha elizayo. Oku kuchazwa lula ngephiloloji - injongo yendalo yowesifazane ukuba abelethe umntwana, kodwa ngexesha lokukhulelwa kwaye emva koko umfazi udinga inkxaso yendoda. Yingakho abafazi abaqaphela imfuno yokubonakala komntwana ebomini babo, ngoko bafuna ukuqinisa ngokusemthethweni ubudlelwane babo.
- Ibhinqa elisithi "Ndifuna ukutshata," mhlawumbi, ifuna umtshato wothando. Kwimeko nayiphi na, le yeso sibini isithandwa kakhulu (22%) impendulo kumbuzo womnqweno wokubopha iqhina. Ewe, unokuthi ungathanda ngaphandle komtshato. Kodwa olu khetho lidlalwa ngabafazi abafuna ukutshata "inkosana", abanalo umntu othile. Ewe, abo bagcina ubudlelwane obungunaphakade, kholelwa ukuba emtshatweni, uthando luthembeke ngakumbi.
- Kutheni abafazi befuna ukutshata? Kungenxa yokuba le nto ibeka uluntu kubo. Amama, oogogo, oodade bomhlobo - bonke baqala ukunyanzela intombazana engatshatanga, nokuba uthe ufuna ukufumana inkululeko. Ngona zonke iindaba kunye namanqaku eenkosikazi ziphela kunye neenkosana zifumana iinkosana zazo. Ngoko ke, kwiintloko zamantombazana kukho intetho - umntu kufuneka alwele umtshato ngawo onke amandla. Le ngcamango ikwabelwana ngo-19% wabaphenduli.
- Kutheni amantombazana engatshatanga? Kwaye zizathu zezizathu zentlalo zibeka ityala, abali-18% abaphenduliweyo bathi bakholelwa ukuba banokuzaliseka ngokupheleleyo emtshatweni. Abanye besaba uluvo loluntu - abangatshatanga kunye ne-label glue label "ilahlekile".
- Phantse ama-5% abantu abaphenduliweyo bayesaba ukungabi nelinye - ngokukhawuleza xa sele bekhulile igrumbi yamanzi ayinakunikwa bani na.
- Ama-6% asele ayenayo imibono yangaphambili. Amanye amantombazana afuna umtshato ngenxa yengubo yomtshato kunye nohambo lwe-limousine, omnye umntu akafuni ukuhlala nabazali bakhe, kwaye umntu ufuna ukuziqhayisa kwiintombi zamantombazana eminwe.
Ngaba uzimisele ukutshata nomtshato, kodwa kungekudala?
Ekubeni iimbono zikawonkewonke zibumba ukuqonda kwethu, kuya kuba mnandi ukufumana oko kucinga malunga nobudala bomtshato.
Nangona umnqweno wokutshata, amaninzi amaninzi akholelwa ukuba ixesha elifanelekileyo lomtshato liyiminyaka eyi-25-27. Umbutho uthatha umtshato kakuhle kwiminyaka engama-27-35, kodwa abantu bayakhalaza malunga nabafazi abatsha kunye nalabo abaya kutshatyalalwa okokuqala emva kweminyaka engama-35.
Ukuba ibhinqa litshata ngokukhawuleza, uluntu luya kumrhaxela ukuba luphantsi-wayeya kufuna iminyaka emininzi, wayengafuni ukutshata, kodwa ngoku uye wafumanisa, ngokuqinisekileyo, ungezantsi.
Xa intombazana ithi "Ndineminyaka engama-18 ubudala, ndifuna ukutshata", naye akakwazi ukufihla kwiimbono kunye neentlebo. Ingakumbi imfesane iya kuxela amabali malunga nabo okanye malunga nentombi, indlela engatshatanga ngayo ekuqaleni.
Ukucaphula, singatsho ukuba ngexesha lomtshato, umfazi kufuneka afunde imfundo, afumane umsebenzi, abe nomlingiswa oqingqiweyo. Kodwa kakhulu kunzima ngomtshato akufanelekanga.
Ungayeka njani ukufuna ukutshata?
Ngamanye amaxesha umfazi ufuna ukutshata kakhulu kangangokuthi umvimbela ekwakheni ubudlelwane obuqhelekileyo kunye nabesilisa - abangenakuvinjelwa ngumgca wokusebenza ebunzini lamantombazana "Ndifake kwiofisi yokubhalisa"? Ungathini kulo mzekelo?
Kufuneka ukuba uziqonde ngokwakho, ukuqonda oko uthethe ngokuthethekileyo ngomtshato - umcimbi omhle, isimo sezenhlalakahle, ukudala intsapho yolonwabo? Ukuze uphendule lo mbuzo kuyimfuneko ukuba loo mntu ayifumanekanga injongo yakho yokuthatha inkululeko yakhe, kodwa umnqweno wokuba ngumfazi onyamekelayo nothembekileyo, ukumnika iqela lezingane, njl. Ukuba ufuna iholide, kufuneka uvume oko. Kholwa, uya kukwazi kuphela ukuzalisekisa umnqweno wakho, ukufumana loo ndoda, xa uyayiqonda into oyifunayo. Qaphela ukuba ungaphantsi kwamandla okungafani, mhlawumbi awufumani nantoni na ngenxa yokuba awufuni, kodwa uya kuqhubeka malunga nabazali kunye nabahlobo.