Umntu ngumntu onomvakalelo, kunye nemithetho esemiselweyo yobomi. Unamandla okugcina amandla, ngoncedo lwengqondo lubonisa isimo sakhe sengqondo kwihlabathi elikujikelezile, kodwa yintoni enokuthi ihlawulwe iingcamango zomntu kunye nokuba yintoni imizwa ayenzelayo ekukhulumisaneni nabantu kuxhomekeke kuye. Yintoni inkqonkqo kwaye kutheni kuthiwa isono sokufa kumntu - makhe sizame ukwenza.
Ukuziqhenya - yintoni na?
Ukuziqhenya ngumbono wokuphakama komntu phambi kwabanye. Olu luvavanyo olungonelanelekanga lokufaneleka kwakho. Ngokuqhelekileyo kukhokelela ekwenzeni iimpazamo zentliziyo, apho abanye behlupheka khona. Ukuziqhayisa kubonakala ngokungahloneli abanye abantu kunye nobomi babo, iingxaki. Abantu abanomdla wokuziqhayisa bayaziqhayisa ngempilo yabo. Benza impumelelo yabo ngokwezifiso zabo kunye nemigudu yabo, bengayiqapheli uncedo lukaThixo kwiimeko zobomi ezicacileyo, abaqapheli iinkcukacha zenkxaso yabanye abantu.
NgesiLatini, igama elithikratshi livakala "i-superbia". Ukuziqhenya kuyisono esibhubhisayo ngenxa yokuba zonke iimpawu zivela kumntu ovela kuMdali. Ukubona ngokwalo imvelaphi yazo yonke impumelelo yomphefumlo kunye nokuqwalasela ukuba yonke into ejikelezileyo ziqhamo zomsebenzi wakho ziphosakeleyo. Ukugxeka abantu abakujikelezileyo kunye nengxoxo yokungaphumeleli kwabo, ukuhleka usulu kokungaphumeleli - kubangela abantu ukuba bazikhukhumeze.
Iimpawu zokuzingca
Ingxoxo yabantu abanjalo isekelwe kwi "I" okanye "YAM". Ukubonakaliswa kwekratshi - ihlabathi emehlweni enkqonkqo, eyahlula iinqingqwana ezimbini ezingalingani - "Yena" kunye nabo bonke abanye. Kwaye "bonke abanye" xa kuthelekiswa naye yindawo engenanto, engafanelekanga ingqalelo. Ukuba ukhumbule "konke okunye", ngoko kuphela ukuthelekisa, ekukhanyeni okufanelekileyo ukuzikhukhumeza - isisiphukuphuku, ukungathobeli, ukungalunganga, ukubuthathaka nokunye.
Ukuziphakamisa kwi-Psychology
Ukuziqhayisa kunokuba ngumqondiso wokukhuliswa okungafanelekanga. Njengomntwana, abazali banako ukuphefumlela umntwana wakhe ukuba nguye ongcono. Ukudumisa nokuxhasa umntwana kuyimfuneko - kodwa ngenxa yezizathu ezithile, ezingabonakaliyo, kunye nokuvuza ngedumo lobuxoki - ukwakha isikratshi, umntu onokuzithemba. Abantu abanjalo abazi ukuba bahlalutye zabo iimpazamo. Ebuntwaneni abazange bakuve ukugxekwa kwaye abakwazi ukuyiqonda xa bekhulile.
Ngokuqhelekileyo ukuqhosha kutshabalalisa ubudlelwane - akunakuluncedo ukuthetha nabantu abakhukhumeleyo. Ekuqaleni, uzive ulungelelaniso oluphantsi, uphulaphule iindululwazi ezizidlayo, kungekhona umnqweno wokwenza izigqibo ezinyanzelisayo. Amalente kunye namakhono omnye umntu, abethwe ngqhayiya, akaqondi. Ukuba ezo zibonwa ngokucacileyo kuluntu okanye kwinkampani, abazikhukhumelayo baya kubaphikisa esidlangalaleni kwaye yonke indlela bayayiphika.
Yintoni inqhayiya kwi-Orthodoxy?
Kwi-Orthodoxy, ukuzingca kuthathwa njengesona sono esikhulu, kuba ngumthombo wezinye izinto ezimbi zokomoya: ukungabi nalutho, ukuhaha, ukucaphuka. Isiseko apho isindiso lomphefumlo womntu lakhiwa yiNkosi ngaphezu kwayo yonke. Emva koko simele simthande ummelwane wethu, ngamanye amaxesha ngokunikela ngeminqweno yethu. Kodwa ukuzingca ngokomoya akuqapheli abanye amatyala, akunakuvakalelwa. Ubuhle, ukuqhayisa ukuzingca, ukuthobeka. Ibonakaliswa ngumonde, ubulumko kunye nokuthobela.
Uthini umahluko phakathi kokuqhosha nokuzingca?
Ukuziqhayisa nokuzikhukhumeza - zineentsingiselo ezahlukeneyo kwaye zibonakalise ngokwayo kumntu womntu ngezizathu ezahlukeneyo. Ukuziqhayisa kukubona uvuyo ngezizathu ezithile ezifanelekileyo. Akuyithobeli okanye ihlazise iimfuno zabanye abantu. Ubungangamsha - umda, ubonisa ixabiso lobomi, ubonakalisa ihlabathi elingaphakathi, uvumela umntu ngomvakalelo onyanisekileyo ukuvuya ngenxa yeempumelelo zabanye. Ukuziqhenya kwenza indoda ibe ikhoboka lemigaqo yakhe:
- uxhobiswano lwezobudlelwane luyakhiwa ngokwendlela yokungalingani;
- akaxoleli iimpazamo;
- unomsindo;
- akaqondi iitalente zabantu;
- bathambekele ekuzibopheleleni kwabo ngabanye abantu;
- ayivumeli umntu ukuba afunde kwiimpazamo zakhe.
Izizathu Zokuziqhayisa
Uluntu lwangoku luba nembono yokuba ibhinqa lingazenza ngaphandle komntu. Iqhayiya labasetyhini ayiboni inyunyano yentsapho-umtshato, apho intloko yendoda kunye nembono yakhe kufuneka ibe yintloko. Ibhinqa ebudlelwaneni obunjalo ayiboni ukufaneleka komntu, ngokucacileyo igxininisa ukuzimela kwakhe njengengxabano, kwaye ifuna ukuthobela intando yakhe. Kubalulekile ukuba anqobe ubudlelwane kunye nemigaqo engaqinisekiyo. Ukuzihlambalalisa iinjongo zomntu ngenzuzo yentsapho, kuba umfazi oziqhenyayo akavumelekanga.
Ukulawula ngokugqithiseleyo, ukubonwa kunye nokukhathazeka kwabasetyhini kwizinto ezincinci - ubuthi ngobomi bobabini. Zonke i-scandals zigqityiwe kuphela emva kokuba indoda ibone ityala layo kunye ne-Ego yesibini iphumelela. Ukuba umntu uyanyanzelekile ukuba adumise ubukhulu bomlingane ngenxa yezizathu ezincinane, uyazihlazisa. Uthando lwakhe luyaphela - kukho ukutshisa, kwaye ushiya intsapho.
Yintoni ekhokelela ekratshi?
Ukuziqhenya kuthiwa yi-inferiority complex. Ukungahambi kakuhle kwempilo kwabanye akuvumeli ukuba umntu avume ukungaphumeleli kwakhe, ukhuthaze ukuba baqinisekise ngandlela-thile icala labo-ukuxoka, ukuqhayisa, ukuqulunqa nokusabalalisa. Ukuzikhukhumeza nokuziqhenya kuye kwavelisa ingqiqo, inzondo, inzondo, inzondo, ukudelelwa, umona kunye nokuphelelwa lithemba-oko kubonakala kubuthathaka kubantu abomoya. Iziqhamo zokuzikhukhumeza zizingcamango ezimbi ezibangele ukuziphatha kakubi kwabanye.
Ungayikhupha njani iqhayiya?
Ukuziqhenya kuthiwa intshaba yolonwabo. Yenza uluvo lobuxoki malunga nenjongo yobomi bomntu, luthintela abahlobo. Ukuziqhayisa kunokutshabalalisa ukusebenzisana kweentsapho, kungabandakanyi amathuba okuchithwa ngamava kwiimpazamo zakho. Ukulwa nokuzingca akulula. Okokuqala, kufuneka ibonwe njengengxaki engafanelekanga, ekufuneka ikhutshwe kwaye ichithe. Kodwa indlela yokujongana nekratshi ngemimiselo ethile:
- ukuqaphela igunya phezu koPhakamileyo, ukuzibona njengengqolowa enesihlabathi elwandle lolwandle;
- fundisa abantu-qaphela imizamo yabo, qaphela impumelelo yabantu abaphumelele ngakumbi, bathathe umzekelo omhle kubo;
- mbulelo ngoncedo kunye neengcebiso;
- Ungazifaki iimpumelelo zabanye, musa ukuphazamisa ukubaluleka kweemfanelo zabanye;
- wabelana nabanye ngamava amnandi;
- ukubonisa inkxaso engathandekiyo ngokukhuphela ngaphandle kokudumisa nokubulela;
- ufumane ubuntu obunobulungisa kwaye ucele ukubonisa iimpazamo, ukungaphumeleli-ukubonelela ngokugxekwa okujoliswe kuyo;
- Musa ukucaphukisa, ungazihlanganisi kwisitya.