Ukuxolela njani?

Uxoka, ukungcatsha, "ummese emhlane" ukusuka kumntu owayesondele kwaye engenakuxhomekeka. Uvakalelo lwenzondo lwenzeka ngokukhawuleza, kwaye luhlala luhlala ubomi. Imvakalelo engathandekiyo emphefumlweni, inzondo, ukudumala okukhulu kunye nezinye iingcamango ezingalunganga zingonakalise impilo yakho. Kodwa ngakolunye uhlangothi, njani ukufumana amandla ukulibala izikhalazo ezidala kwaye uqale ukuhlala ngokutsha? Siza kuthetha ngale nto.

Indlela yokufunda ukuxolela izono?

Ngaphambi kokuba siqonde indlela yokususa ngayo iimvakalelo zentukuthelo, kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba yintoni le mvakalelo kunye nokuba kutheni. Ngokutsho kwengqondo, le ngcamango ichazwa kukuba unomntu okhula kwimeko apho ukungabi nabulungisa, ukukhohlisa, ukuhlambalaza, ukungazenzisiyo kuyenziwa ngaye, njl njl. Oku kungenxa yokungafani kokulindela malunga nokuziphatha komntu owenza isohlwayo.

Sonke siphila ngamaphetheni athile kunye neengcamango zento elungileyo nento embi. Le ngcamango ifundiswe kuthi ukususela ebuntwaneni kwaye sikhuliswa kunye nesidima sesithunzi. Ukuba umntu unoluvo oluphakamileyo kakhulu, ngoko nayiphi na into engafanelekanga kumntu wakhe uya kumcaphukisa. Ukuba, ukususela ebuntwaneni, umntu wafundiswa ukuba abe ngaphezu kokugxeka kunye nokuhlambalaza, kwiimeko ezininzi akayi kuphulaphula into yokuba izinto azilindelanga azihambisani nento.

Ngoko uyasabela njani kulwaphulo? Kukho imeko xa kunzima ukukhawuleza umonakalo wokuziphatha owenziweyo. Kodwa njengoko bethetha, ababuthathaka bakhumbula iziphoso, kwaye iqinileyo likhumbula abaphulaphuli. Indlela yokuqala yokuthotywa kukuthanda ukuphindisela kunye nentlungu ngokuphendula. Kodwa kwiimeko ezininzi kuya kuba nje ukuchitha ixesha. Mhlawumbi, kukuphela kwakho ukuba isenzo somntu siyamcaphukisa, kwaye lowo wenzayo akazange afune ukuba ube ngendawo. Njani, umzekelo, ukuxolela umyeni onokuthandayo, kodwa ngenxa yokuziphatha kwakhe wenza isenzo sokuthuka, esilandelayo yena ngokwakhe? Ukwenza oku kukuvimbela ukwesaba. Uloyiko lokuba esinye isenzo esichukumisayo siya kulandelwa enye kwaye uya kuphinda uhanjiswe okanye uhlaziswe. Kodwa awukwazi ukubona kwangaphambili oku kwangaphambili. Ngoko ke, kukufanelekile ukujoyina ubuntu obuqinileyo abangaziphindezeli kwabo abaphulaphuli kwaye abahlahla ukuya kumgangatho wabo. Abantu abanjalo bayazi indlela yokujongana nokuhlambalaza, basindise ixesha elifutshane, kwaye mhlawumbi nixolele kwaye nibuze ukuba oku kungabikho kwakhona, okanye uzame ukujongana nobomi babo ngokungekho na owenzayo.

Ukuba ukuzitshintsha kwelo hlobo kunokwenzeka ngenkinga, kukufanelekile ukukhumbula ukuba yonke into engafanelekileyo oyigcina engqondweni yakho iyasusa amandla akho abathandayo abathandayo. Kwaye ekubeni kungenakwenzeka ukuba uphile ngokusesikweni kwangoko, ungazami ukuphazamiseka ngokwengqondo kwizinto ezingalunganga, kodwa ukwenze nezinye iindlela ezikhethekileyo.

Kulula kangakanani ukulibala ukuhlambalaza

Ekubeni kunqweneleka ukuxolela umntu umntu ngaphandle kwempindiselo yangempela, unokuyenza ngokucinga kwakho. Akukho mntu owenqabela ngengqondo ukuba aqondise into embi kummoni. Ukuxhatshazwa ngokuqinisekileyo akuyimfuneko, kodwa ukuphindaphinda kwamanyathelo oku kulandela kunokunciphisa kakhulu isimo sengqondo kwaye akuyi kubangela ingozi ekhethekileyo:

  1. Thatha i-comfortable confinement, vala amehlo akho uphumule. Khawucinge ngolu hlobo okanye abo bakulimazayo. Ufuna ukuba baziphindezele njani? Yintoni ekumele iphile okanye yenzayo ukuze uxolele? Cinga ngomfanekiso wempindezelo yakho kuyo yonke imibala kunye neenkcukacha. Futhi gcina lo mfanekiso entloko yakho ngokukhawuleza ukuba ufuna ukubona abaxhaphazi bakho behlupheka kwaye bafumana oko bakufanele. Emva koko ubaxolele kwaye uzive uneliseko lokwaneliseka kwixesha elidlulileyo.
  2. Indlela yesibini yokukhululwa kwecala kukusebenza nomlingane. Kusondele kuwe kufuneka ube nomntu othembela ngokupheleleyo. Inendima yayo kukutshintsha umntu oye wakucaphukisa. Vala amehlo akho kwaye ucinge ukuba esikhundleni somlingani wakho umxhaphazi phambi kwakho. Kwakhona, ngamehlo akho avaliweyo, unike isimo sengqondo esihle: "Ndifuna ukukuxolela ngenxa ...". Kufuneka ukhulume de ube uzive ukhululekile, kwaye awuyi kuthetha nantoni ephephe emphefumlweni kumxhaphazi.

Wonke umntu kufuneka azenzele isigqibo sokuba uxolele ukuthuka. Kodwa khumbula - unako ukubilisa bonke ubomi bakho ngomsindo noburhalarhume, utyhefu ngobomi bakho ngento embi. Yaye unako ukuvumela umntu owonayo ngehlabathi, ukulahla umthwalo weengcamango ezingathandekiyo kwaye uzivuyise wena kunye nabathandekayo bakho.