Kwili hlabathi lanamhlanje, kuninzi amadoda ahlala edla utywala ngobuninzi. Oku kuchaphazela abafazi, abantwana kunye nabo. Uninzi lwabasetyhini bafuna ukufumana iingcebiso ezifanelekileyo kwi-psychologist malunga nento omele yenziwe xa umyeni esela.
Yintoni endiyenzayo xa indoda yam ilala kwaye isela?
Ukuba umyeni usebenzisa utywala ngaphezu kwamanye amaxesha ngenyanga, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha imihla ngemihla, unokuthetha ngokudakwa kotywala. Le ngxaki enzima kakhulu engenako isombululo ngokwayo kwaye iya kufuna umzamo omkhulu kokubili kumfazi kunye nendoda. Indoda inokuthetha amanga kumfazi wayo kwaye ithethelele ukuziphatha kwayo ngokukhathala, iimeko okanye ukunyamezela kwabahlobo abanikela ngokunyanisekileyo ukusela isilazi yebhiya, iwayini okanye iziphuzo ezinamandla. Enyanisweni, ezi zizathu nezizathu zokubambisa kwakhe ubuthathaka. Ukuze ukwazi ukulwa nokuxhomekeka kotywala, kubalulekile ukuba uqhelane neengcebiso malunga nento enokuyenza ukuba umyeni udla ngokusela:
- Qonda ukuba utshatywala yingxaki yentsapho yonke kwaye kuyimfuneko ukuyilwa kunye.
- Ungagxininisi kwi-encoding okanye usebenzisa izidakamizwa ezizodwa.
- Musa ukutshutshisa umyeni wakho ngokuhlambalaza rhoqo, kodwa uhlale phantsi uzame ukuqonda izizathu zokuxhomekeka kotywala.
- Zama ukuhamba ngaphantsi kweendwendwe, apho kukho ukusela utywala.
Amadoda amaninzi atywala kwinto yokuba balahlekelwa ukholo kumandla abo kunye namandla abo. Kule meko, umfazi kufuneka amnike ukuzithemba okunjalo. Kuya kuba mnandi ukuza nento enomdla, umsebenzi oya kugcina umyeni wakho kakhulu kangangokuthi akayi kuba nexesha lokuchitha ixesha lakhe lokuzonwabisa xa esela utywala. Ngokuqhelekileyo, xa abesifazana bengazi ukuba benzeni, ukuba umyeni usela kakhulu, baqala ukuxhatshaza ngokuqhawula okanye abantwaba. Oku akuvumelekanga. Isimo esinjalo sinokunyusa imeko, kodwa asiyi kuzisa umphumo omuhle.
Ndingayenza ntoni xa indoda yam isela ukusela?
Amanye amadoda angase aphuze ngezikhathi ezithile. Ngoko, umzekelo, zihlala zihlala zonyaka. Kodwa ke iingxaki eziqokelelweyo zizenza bazive zize zithele ekuphuzeni iiveki, ezimbini, ezintathu, kunye nezinye iinyanga. Le yimeko enzima kakhulu engakwazi ukuyixazulula ngokwayo. Eyona ndlela ikhethekileyo kukuqhagamshelana neengcali, udibanisa nengcali yezengqondo oya kukwazi ukufumanisa ingxaki, kwaye unikwe unyango. Kwezinye iimeko, oogqirha babonelela ngemali ekhethekileyo, kunye neengqungquthela. Ngokuqhelekileyo, emva kokuhamba ngonyango olukhethekileyo, kunye nokusebenza kunye neengqondo zengqondo, kuza ukunyanga komntu. Ulahla umlutha.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuba umfazi unzima kangakanani umbuzo wento enokuyenza xa umyeni wakhe esela rhoqo, ingxaki ixazululwa kuphela xa umntu ngokwakhe eyazi ingxaki yakhe kwaye ufuna ukutshintsha.
Imimandla yomzabalazo ekunxilweni
Abasetyhini basebenzise ngempumelelo iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokuyeka ukusela umyeni wakhe. Umzekelo:
- kwithuba elithile bashiya indlu;
- zifakwe kwisiqhawulo somtshato kwaye zithembisa ukuthatha amaxwebhu xa wenqaba ukusela utywala;
- bayeke ukupheka;
- phelisa ubudlelwane bezesondo;
- uyayihoxisa ngokupheleleyo indoda yakhe kwaye ungathethi;
- ukudubula kwividiyo kwiimeko ezixakile;
- ukusebenzisa abantwana njengempembelelo.
Kakade ke, iindlela ezinjalo zinelungelo lokuba khona, ingakumbi xa umntu eselayo kungekho rhoqo kwaye unokuzilawula. Ngelishwa, xa utywala luba yingxenye ebalulekileyo yobomi bomyeni wakhe, ezo zikhetho azisebenzi. Zingabangela ubundlobongela kwaye ziqhubeke zisela. Kule meko, isisombululo esifanelekileyo siza kubhaliswa kweengcali. Ngelo xesha, umntu makangayicapheli malunga nalo mntu. Kungcono ukuba ufuna yena ngokwakhe.