Umzabalazo wentombi-mkhwenkwe nomama-mkhwenkwe wokunakwa kunye nothando lomyeni wakhe nendodana kumntu oyedwa ngumxholo oneminyaka eminyaka ubudala, i-anecdotes kwaye, ngelishwa, inyaniso. Ngokuqhelekileyo umama-mkhwe uphazamisa ebomini bendodana yakhe nomalokazana wakhe, ukuba yonke intsapho ihlala kwindlu enye okanye indlu. Njengoko bethetha, umama-mkhwenkwe omhle nomama-mkhwenkwe ngabo bahlala kude, kwaye siqhagamshelana nabo. Kule nto inyaniso.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuba umama-mkhwenkwe onomdla, othanda umntanakhe kunye nomalokazana wakhe ulingana, ukuba unokwabelana kwintsimi enye, akakwazi ukuphazamisa. Kwiimeko ezininzi, uninazala ukhuphuka ekukhulisweni komntwana, kuba ngombono wakhe, unamava angenakuqhathaniswa nokukhuliswa kwabantwana kunokuba wena nomyeni wakhe. Abanye umama-mkhwenkwe bakwenza kuphela izizathu ezilungileyo, kwaye ngokwenene unokuba nethemba kuncedo lwabo nenkxaso. Kodwa kuthekani ukuba umamazala wayifumana?
Uninazala uya kunyuka ebomini bethu
Uphikisana nokulwa phakathi kwentombi nomkhwekazi? Ngokuchanekileyo, okokuqala, ngomona. Kuyaqondakala ukuba umama unomona ngunyana wakhe, ngakumbi ukuba nguye yedwa umntwana kwintsapho. Kwaye kuba nomona - isizathu sokuba umama-mkhwenkwe uya kulwalamano kunye nakho konke okunokwenzeka, unikeza iingcebiso ezininzi "ezintle," kwaye umalokazana naye unomona kwaye uzama ukwenza konke ngendlela yakhe.
Ngamanye amaxesha kuvela kwinto yokuba uninazala akavumeli isibini esitshatileyo ukuba siphile. Kule meko, ukungaphumeleli kwakhe kubonakala kuphela kumalokazana, kodwa unyana wakhe-ingakumbi. Usetyenziselwa unina kwaye akaqondi ukuba uphazamisa intombi yakhe ethandekayo. Ngaphezu koko, wayedla ngokuhlala kwakhe kunina, ngakumbi ukuba ngaphambi komtshato wayehlala nabazali bakhe, kungekhona ubomi obuzimeleyo. Abazali abaphazamisi kuye kwaye kunzima ukuba aqonde ukuba uninazala uyaphazamisa ukuhlala ubomi obupheleleyo kunye nentsapho kunye nentombi yakhe okanye umfazi wakhe.
Ndingamkhusela njani umamazala?
Khawucinge ukuba ungumntwazana osweleyo, kodwa umkhwe wakho ukhusela ukuba uphile. Ngokwemvelo, ufuna ukwazi ukukhusela umamazala wakho, vumela impembelelo yakhe kwonyana wakho kwaye uphazamise ubudlelwane bakho. Kule meko, kukho enye indlela elula. Nciphisa uninazala! Ngokuqinisekileyo, kungekhona ngentsingiselo yangempela yegama. Nciphisa ukulwa nalo. Ukuphelisa isizathu sokungenelela kwakhe, ungamvumeli ukuba atyhole ukuba yintoni na indlela yokwenza ngayo. Vumelana nje nomama wakho konke. Bonisa ukuba awuphazamisi iimzame zakhe zokuphucula ubomi bakho kunye nobomi bendodana yakhe, bonisa ukuba awuyi kulwa kwaye ubonise ubungqina bakho.
Ngokwemvelo, okukhethwa kukho kukuhlala kwiindawo ezihlukeneyo okanye izindlu, kodwa ukuba awukwazi ukuyithengisa, zikhona ezinye iingcebiso ezilula.
- Nika umama-mkhwenkwe ukuba aqonde ukuba awuyintsikwano, kodwa unxulumane naye kunye nomncedisi.
- Ungalokothi uxoxe okanye ugxeke umama wakho nomyeni wakho, ungatsho ukuthi uya ebomini bethu, ngokuchaseneyo, nangona akangalunganga, kwaye umyeni wakhe uyazi kakuhle le nto, zama ukukhusela nokumthethelela.
- Thatha iingcebiso zoomama uze uzame,
ukuba kunokwenzeka, landela, kuba umfazi osekhulile unika ithuba lakhe elixabisekileyo. - Zama ukungagxili ekhitshini, uhlambulule, uhlambe uze udibanise izinto zakho. Ukuba umama-mkhwenkwe ufuna ukukunceda-ungalibali, vumela nje ukunyamezela amazwi akhe kunye neemfundiso zakhe.
- Ukuba kukho ukungquzulana okanye ukuxabana, zama ukuxolisa, nokuba ulungile, kuba uncinane kwaye mhlawumbi unobulumko.
Ngokulandela le mithetho, kwaye uqaphela ukuba umamazana ngumfazi ofanayo, kunye namandla akhe kunye nobuthathaka, iingenelo kunye nokuphazamiseka, ngokukhawuleza uza kufunda ukuyiqonda nokuyihlonela. Yaye ubomi bakho kunye nomyeni wakhe abuyi kuhlaselwa ngumkhwekazi wakhe, kumntu wakhe uya kufumana umhlobo nomcebisi onokwethenjelwa.