Kubonakala ekukhanyeni, bonke abantwana baphatha ngokulinganayo: balala, badla, ngamanye amaxesha bakhala. Kodwa kwiinyanga zokuqala emva kokuzalwa, baqala ukubonisa umlingiswa, kuba wonke umntu unalo. Ukuxutywa ngokwemvelo kunye namajethi, iimpawu zayo zibonakaliswa ngokucacileyo kwixesha leengxaki kunye nasebuncinaneni. Abantwana abaninzi ngelo xesha bayaba libi kakhulu, baziphathe ngokuzenzekelayo. Masifunde into enokuyenza xa umntwana engalawulekiyo, uziphatha ngobundlobongela kwaye akaphendulelanga nantoni nakwiindlebe zabadala. Kwaye ukuqala kunye siza kubona ukuba kutheni abantwana bengayithobeli abazali babo.
Izizathu zokungathobeli
- Kwinkqubo yophuhliso kunye nokubunjwa kobuntu, ubuninzi obunzima kakhulu, okubizwa ngokuba ngamaxesha obunzima, xa umntwana evakalelwa ngathi amandla abo abathandayo. Nangona kunjalo, eli xesha kunzima kakhulu kubantwana, kuba ngamanye amaxesha yena ngokwakhe akakwazi ukuqonda izizathu ezibalulekileyo zezenzo zabo. Ngaloo ndlela umntwana uyaziqonda ihlabathi, ufunda indlela yokwenza ngayo, kunye nokuba akunakwenzeka kwaye kutheni. Kwaye abazali kufuneka bafike kule nkqubo ngokuqonda, bachaze isinyathelo ngasinye kumntwana onzima.
- Ukuba unomntwana, kufuneka uqonde ukuba ukuzalwa ngumntu ohlukeneyo, kunye neengcinga kunye neminqweno yakho, ngoko ke unelungelo lokusebenza njengoko ufuna. Yaye wena, bazali, kufuneka ulungele ukuziphatha kwakhe ukuba kukho naziphi izenzo ezingozi kuye okanye kwabanye, kwaye akukho mzekelo uzama ukumenza i-robot ethobekileyo, elawulwayo.
- Kwakhona, ukungathobeli kungabangelwa yimfundo engafanelekanga (xa umntwana evunyelwe kakhulu okanye, ngokuchaseneyo, yonke into ivaliwe) okanye iingxaki zentsapho (ukuxabana phakathi kwabazali, njl.).
Kuthekani ukuba umntwana akalawuleki?
1. Ukuba umntwana wenza oko akufunayo, kungakhathaliseki ukuba izibhikiso zabazali bakhe, sisihlandlo sokuphinda sicinge ngemibono yakhe ekukhuliseni kwaye, mhlawumbi, utshintshe ukuziphatha kwakhe. Musa ukumemeza kakhulu kumntwana? Ngaba uyayikhokhelela ngokwaneleyo?
Ukuphuhlisa iindlela zakho zokuziphatha:
- Musa ukusabela kwiingqungquthela kunye nokucaphukisa umntwana;
- zama ukuhlala uxolo ngaphandle kokuziphatha kwakhe;
- ukumisela imida (into eyenziwa ngumntwana kunye noko kungenjalo), kwaye unamathele ngokucacileyo.
3. Kwiingxabano kunye neenkwenkwezi kunye nendodana okanye intombi yakho, ungaze uqhubeke negunya lakho: ngalokhu unokuphulaphula ukuzithemba komntwana, kwaye kuya kuba nzima nakakhulu ukuseka ubudlelwane. Endaweni yoko, fumana ukunyaniseka, uxoxe nomntwana, umphazamise. Mphathe ngomusa, ngesisa nangothando. Le yindlela efanelekileyo yokumenza umntwana avulwe ukuthetha kwakhona.
4. Kwiimeko xa umntwana eziphatha kakubi ngenxa yeengxaki ezithile zeengqondo, ungayigxothi ukutyelela ugqirha. Ingcali iza kukunceda ukujamelana nalo mbandela kwaye ubuyisele uxolo lwentsapho.