Ukuzama ukuphazamisa ukuziphatha kwabantwana babo, kwimeko yokucaphuka okanye ukwesaba, abantu abadala baya kumazwi kunye nemibandela abazali babo babatshilo kubo. Kodwa akusoloko ukuthethayo kumntanakho kuya kuthintela ngokuziphatha kwakhe kwaye kumncede ukuba aqonde into awayeyiphutha ngayo. Ngamanye amaxesha, ibinzana elingathethi nantoni kuthi lingabangela ukukhathazeka kakhulu kwengqondo kumntwana, ukunciphisa ukuzithemba kwakhe , kwaye ibe yinto ebangela ukuba kwakhiwe izakhiwo.
Ngoko ke, ukwenzela ukuba ugweme ukusetyenziswa kweelwimi ezingenako ukuxelelwa kubantwana, kweli nqaku siza kuqhelana nezivakalisi eziyingozi kakhulu.
1. Uyabona, awukwazi ukwenza nantoni na - ndivumele ukuba ndiyenze ngokwam.
Ngamazwi anjalo, abazali baxelela umntwana ukuba abanakholwa kuye, ukuba uyayilahleka kwaye inqanawe inqumle ukukholelwa kuye, iyicinga, ingenangqondo, kwaye ayiyiyo. Ukuphindaphinda eli binzana lonke ixesha, uyamdumaza ukuba enze into eyedwa, kwaye uya kwenza konke okwenzela unina ukuba azenzele yena.
Endaweni yokumthintela ukwenza into okanye ukwenza ngokwakhe, abazali kufuneka bancedwe nje, bachazwe kwakhona, benziwe kunye naye, kodwa kungekhona kuye.
2. Amakhwenkwe (amantombazana) awaziphatheli ngale ndlela!
Amagama athi "Abafana abalili!", "Amantombazana kufuneka aziphathe ngokuzenzekelayo!" Khokelela ekubeni abantwana bavalelwe ngokwabo, besaba ukubonisa iimvakalelo zabo, bazifihle. Musa ukubeka umzekelo wendlela yokuziphatha ethile kumntwana, kungcono ukubonisa ukuba uyamqonda kwaye ufuna uncedo, kwaye kuya kuba lula ukuchazela imigaqo yokuziphatha kuye.
3. Kutheni ungeke ube njenge ...?
Ukuthelekisa umntwana kunye nabanye, unokuhlakulela kuye imvakalelo engafanelekanga, umcaphukise, umenze angathandabuze uthando lwakho. Umntwana kufuneka azi ukuba akathandi ngenxa yokuba udlala kakuhle, kodwa ngenxa yokuba uyindodana okanye intombi. Ukuze wenze umnqweno wesiphumo esingcono, umntu unokuthelekisa kuphela nomphumo wexesha elidlulileyo lomntwana ngokwakhe.
4. Ndiza kukubulala, ulahlekile, ndifuna ukuba ndikhuphe isisu!
Ibinzana elinjalo alinakuze litsho, ukuze umntwana angabikho, banokukhupha umnqweno wakhe "ukuba ungabi."
5. Andikuthandi.
Eli binzana elibi lingaba nombono wengane ukuba akasekho mfuneko, kwaye oku kuphazamiseka kwengqondo. Kwaye ukusetyenziswa kokhetho "Ukuba awuyikuthobela, andiyi kukuthanda" kukhokelela ekuboneni uthando lwakho njengomvuzo wokuziphatha kwakhe okulungileyo, apho abantwana bahlala ngokukhawuleza basuke kubazali babo.
6. Awuyi kudla iphariji, uze ... uze uthathe!
Eli binzana sele lisisigxina kwisigama sethu, kangangokuba ngamanye amaxesha abantu abangabaziyo kwisitrato batshela abantwana bakhe, bafuna ukuqinisekisile. Kodwa akukho nto ilungileyo kuyo ayiyi kusebenza: kumntwana omncinci ukwenziwa koyiko oluya kuba yi-phobia yangempela, inqanaba lokuxhalaba, kwaye oku kungakhokelela ekuphazamiseni ukuphazamiseka.
7. Ulungile! Wena - uvila! Unomdla!
Ungalokothi ubeke iilebula kumntwana, nokuba uthe wenza kakubi. Ngamaxesha amaninzi uthetha oku, ngokukhawuleza uya kukholelwa ukuba ukhona kwaye uya kuqala ukuziphatha ngokufanelekileyo. Kuchanekile ngakumbi ukuba "Uziphatha kakubi (ukratshi)!", Emva koko umntwana uya kuqonda ukuba ulungile, nje musa.
8. Yenza into oyifunayo, andinandaba.
Abazali kufanele banikele ingqalelo kumntwana kunye nomdla kwimicimbi yakhe, kungakhathaliseki ukuba baxakeke kangakanani, kungenjalo babeka umngcipheko ekulahlekelaneni kunye naye kwaye akayi kuza kuwe ukwabelana nantoni na. Kwaye imodeli efanayo yokuziphatha iya kwakha kamva kunye nabantwana babo.
9. Umele wenze oko ndithethile, kuba ndiphethe apha!
Abantwana, kunye nabantu abadala, badinga iinkcazo ukuba kutheni kubalulekile ukwenza njalo, nangaphandle koko. Ngaphandle koko, kwimeko efanayo, kodwa xa ungekho, uya kwenza njengoko akuthandayo, kwaye kungekhona ngokuchanekileyo.
10. Kangaphi amaxesha ndingakuxelela yona! Awukwazi ukwenza okulungileyo!
Elinye ibinzana elinciphisa ukuzithemba komntwana. Kungcono ukusho "Ukufunda kwiimpazamo!" Kwaye uncede ukuba avele apho enze khona iphutha.
Kubantwana bakho bafuna ukwenza into, qi niqiniseke ukubonga ngabo ngoncedo lwabo, ingakumbi abafana. Ngaba kunzima ukuthi "Ungumntu omhle! Ndiyabulela! ", Kwaye intombazana -" Uyiqili! ". Xa ukwakha izivakalisi kwingxoxo nabantwana, sebenzisa i-particle "incinci" engaphantsi kaninzi, engabanjwanga ngabo. Umzekelo: endaweni yokuthi "Musa ukungcola!" - "Qaphela!".
Gcina umkhondo weentetho ozisebenzisayo xa uthetha nabantwana, uze ufundise ubuntu bokuzithemba.