Nayiphi na ubuhlobo bubi ngokwalo. Emva koko, kulo mzekelo umntu akakwazi ukwenza ngokuzimela, uxhomekeka kwiimeko ezithile. Ukuxhomekeka kukuba, ngendlela ethile, umkhwa ngaphandle kokungenakwenzeka ngeli xesha ukuba ukhona.
Iimvakalelo kunye ne-codependence othandweni
Ukuxhomekeka koxhomekeke kwimiba efanayo, esiya kuyiqwalasela kunye nobudlelwane phakathi kwabantu. Uthando lwe-codependence lufana nesifo esibangela ukungahambi kakuhle, ingxaki yengqondo kunye neminye imiba engafanelekanga echaza ngokucacileyo " ukuxhomekeka koxhomekeke kwintliziyo ". Abanye abazange bacinge nangendlela yokujongana ne-codependence, banelisekile ngolu hlobo. Ngoko ke, abanenjongo yokutshintsha nantoni na, bayayithanda, ngakumbi, bayidla ngokufanayo.
Ukuxhomekeka ngokubambisana - ukugula kweentsapho
Ayikho imfihlo yokuba ukuxhomekeka kobunye kwintsapho kuqhelekileyo. Emva kweminyaka emininzi yokuhlala kunye, abantu abatshatileyo, bazive besithandwa, badinga kwaye bancike kwiqabane. Oku kuyinto eqhelekileyo, kwanokuba-kuhle! Kuya kuba nzima ngakumbi ukuba abantu ababini abaxhumene, badibanise kwaye baqinise ubuhlobo babo. Kodwa kukho iintlobo ezahlukahlukeneyo kwezobudlelwane apho ukuxhomekeka komsebenzi kubonakala khona.
Iimpawu ze-codependence
Mhlawumbi abantu beli nqanaba lobudlelwane babo abangekho ekuvuyiseni ukuba kunye kunye, badla imihla ngemihla kuphela, izikhumbuzo ezintle kunye nezobubele ezidlulileyo. Ngelishwa, azinakomeleza ubudlelwane ngexesha langoku. Ingxaki yokwenza i-codependence kukuba wonke umntu uyazibona ukuxhomekeka kwakhe kwelinye, kodwa akenzi nto kumthandi wakhe. Wonke umntu ufuna ukuba kuthathwe isenzo esiqinileyo, ngokwemvelo, kungekhona kuye. Ufuna yonke into ibe "njengaphambili", ithi ifuna ukuthanda, kodwa ayikwazi ngenxa yokungabi nalinyathelo. Lo mntu uzimela ngokuzenzekelayo uxanduva lokuphuhliswa kobudlelwane kunye nesidingo sokwenza into ethile. Yonke into yakhiwe kuphela ngokholo kwizinto eziza kwenzeka kwikamva njengoko kwakunjalo. Indlela yokuphuma kwi-codependence ilula: qalisa ukwenza into ebantwini abasondeleyo, thabatha umdla wabo, kwaye ungalandeli lakho! Ekugqibeleni, uya kufumana zonke iziphumo ezifanayo! Makhe sibone indlela yokukrazula kunye nokukhululeka kwi-codependence.
Ukuxhomekeka koxhomekeke kwimibutho - unyango
Ukuba uye wazibuza ukuba ungayinqoba njani ukuxhomekeka komxhasi, qha ga mshelana neengcali kunye neengqondo zentsapho okanye uzame ukusombulula loo ngxaki. Ukuqala, hlela izinto ngaphakathi kwakho. Nazi iimpendulo omele uziphendule ngaphambi kokuba uthathe isenzo:
- Ngaba ulwalamano lwakho lubalulekile kuwe?
- Ngaba uyawaxabisa?
- Yintoni kanye? Ngenxa yintoni?
- Ngaba bayakuthanda okwangoku?
- Yintoni kanye?
- Yintoni ongathanda ukuyitshintsha kuwo?
- Yintoni ongathanda ukuyiphucula?
- Ufuna ukufezekisa ntoni?
- Luhlobo luni lolwalamano olufuna ukufikelela ekupheleni?
- Ziziphi na amathuba oku? Nazikhetho?
- Ziziphi amathuba okuba nobuhlobo bokwenene?
- Yintoni oyaziyo ngothandekayo wakho onika ithemba lokuba siya kuphumelela?
- Yintoni oyifunayo ukumxelela okanye ukumxelela, ufunde kuye, ukuze ube ngumanyano kunye nokwazi ukwakha ubudlelwane obuyanelisayo?
- Yintoni kanye kwaye ulungele njani ukwenza ngokwakho?
Ukuba ngamnye umntu ngezihlandlo wazibuza imibuzo enjalo, ubuhlobo phakathi kwabantu buya kuba bhetele ngakumbi. Emva koko, into eyona nto ebaluleke kakhulu ukuyigcina yinkcubeko kunye namandla olwalamano. Musa ukuzisa imeko kwiindawo ezibucayi, kodwa zama ukwenza konke ngexesha. "I-spoon yindlela yokutya." Kwaye ke ihlabathi lakho kunye nehlabathi lomnye umntu liya kukhanya ngakumbi kwaye kunomdla!