Kwomnye umzekeliso odumile kuthiwa umntu unikwe iindlebe ezimbini nomlomo omnye, oku kuthetha ukuba abantu bafanele baphulaphule ngaphandle kokuphulaphula. Kubalulekile ukuba umntu ave, aqondwe, kwaye aphulaphule ngakumbi - izinto ezininzi kunye neemfihlelo ziyaqondwa. Ukuphulaphula ngokunyanisekileyo yindlela eyafumana ukuthembela phakathi kweengqondo zeengqondo ngenxa yokusebenza kwayo kunye nokulula.
Yintoni ukuphulaphula ngokukhawuleza?
Ukuphulaphulwa okusebenzayo okanye okunyanisekileyo kuyinkqubo eyenziwa yi-American Psychotherapist, umdali weengqondo zesintu uKarl Rogers waletha kwi-psychotherapy. Ukuphulaphula ngokufanelekileyo isixhobo esinceda ukuva, ukuqonda iimvakalelo, iimvakalelo ze-interlocutor, uqondise ingxoxo ngokucace kwaye uncede umntu aphile aze aguqule isimo sakhe. E-Rashiya, le nkqubo yaphuhliswa kwaye yaxhaswa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo ngenxa yengqondo yengqondo Yu Yuppenreiter.
Empathic ekuphulaphuleni kwengqondo
Izindlela zokuphulaphula ngokusisigxina kwizengqondo zinceda ukudibanisa ingxoxo, ukufumana inkalo yeengxaki zabaxumi kunye nokukhetha unyango olufanelekileyo. Xa sisebenzisana nabantwana - le ndlela iyona ndlela ibhetele, kuba umntwana omncinci akasazi kakuhle kwaye uyazi iimvakalelo zabo. Ngethuba lokuva, ukufumana ingxaki kwiingxaki zakhe, amava engqondo kwaye igxile ngokupheleleyo kwisigulane.
Iintlobo zokuphulaphula ngokufanelekileyo
Iintlobo zokuphulaphula ngokunyanisekileyo zihlulwe ngokwasemthethweni zibe yindoda neyowesifazane. Izixhobo zeentlobo nganye:
- Ukuphulaphula ngokukhawuleza kwamadoda - kuthatha ukucamngca kwaye kusetyenziswa kwimibutho yezoshishino, iingxoxo kwi-shishini. Ulwazi olufunyenwe kumnxibelelanisi luhlalutyo ngokucokisekileyo kumacandelo ahlukeneyo, imibuzo eninzi ecacileyo iyacelwa, njengoko amadoda ejoliswe kwisiphumo. Nanku ukulungiswa okufanelekileyo nokufanelekileyo.
- Ukuphulaphula ngokunyanisekileyo kwabasetyhini . Ngenxa yemvakalelo yendalo kunye neendawo ezihlala kuzo iimvakalelo - abafazi bavulekileyo kwaye banemvakalelo enkulu: ukuba kunye nomnxibelelwano kunye, abandakanyeka naye kwingxaki yakhe. Imfesane ayikwazi ukuhlaselwa-ityathwa ngumnye umntu kwaye ibangela ukuba athembele ukuzityhila. Kusetyenziswe iindlela zokuthetha ngeentetho zeentombi, ukugxininisa kwiimvakalelo kunye nemvakalelo.
Inkqubo yokuphulaphula ngokukhawuleza
Ukuphulaphula ngokunyanisekileyo yinkqubo kwaye ngexesha elifanayo inkqubo yokuxininisa komnye umntu, xa zonke iingqiqo kunye neengqungquthela ziqwalaselwa kwingxoxo: ukubonwa kwezwi, intetho, ubuso, ubuso kunye nokukhawuleza. Iinqununu eziphambili zendlela yokuphulaphula ngokuthe tye:
- Ukungathathi hlangothi . Ukuphepha ukuvavanya, ukugxekwa, ukugwetywa. Ukwamkelwa kunye nentlonipho yomntu njengabo.
- Ukuxolelwa . Umoya ozolile kunye nesimo sengqondo kumnxibelelwano, ukumkhuthaza ukuba aqhubeke ekhuluma ngaye, ingxaki - inxaxheba ekuphumuleni nasekuthembeleni.
- Inzala enomdla . Esinye sezixhobo ezibalulekileyo zempembelelo kwindlela yokuphulaphula ngokukhawuleza, kunceda umntu ukuba avule ngokupheleleyo kwaye acacise imeko yengxaki
Izindlela zokuphulaphula ngokukhawuleza
Izindlela zokuphulaphula ngokukhawulezileyo zihlukeneyo kwaye zihlukeneyo. Kwizengqondo zeklasi, kukho iindlela ezihlanu eziphambili zokuphulaphula ngokuthe tye:
- Ikhefu . Kubalulekile ukuba umntu akhulume kude kube sekupheleni kunye nekhefu ezifunekayo kwingxoxo. Oku akuthethi ukuba kufuneka uhlale uthe cwaka: poddakivanie ("ewe", "hugo"), intloko yokugubungela iyimpawu zomntu abaphulaphulayo.
- Ukucaciswa . Ukufumana iingcamango ezingacacileyo, ukucacisa imibuzo kusetyenziswe ukuphepha ukucinga imeko kwaye ukuqonda kangcono umxhumanisi okanye umxhasi.
- Ukucacisa . Indlela xa ivile ibuyiswa kwisithethi ngendlela efutshane kwaye ivumela umnxibelelwano ukuba aqinisekise ukuba "ewe, yonke into injalo", okanye icacise kwaye icacise amanqaku abalulekileyo.
- I-Echo-statement (ukuphindaphinda) - "ukubuya" kweengongoma kumnxibelelanisi kwifomu engatshintshiyo - umntu uyaqonda ukuba uyayiphulaphula ngenyameko (ungayisebenzisi kakubi le ngxoxo kwingxoxo).
- Ukucamngca iimvakalelo . Ibinzana ezihambelana namava omntu zisetyenziswe: "Uthukuthele ...", "Ngelo xesha kwakubuhlungu kakhulu / inwabile / ibuhlungu kuwe."
Imithetho yokuphulaphula ngokukhawuleza
Imigaqo yokuphulaphula ngokucwangcisayo ibandakanya izinto ezibalulekileyo, ngaphandle kokuba le nkqubo ingasebenzi:
- umnxibelelwano akakwazi ukuphazamiseka;
- umbuzo oceliwe uchaza impendulo kuwo, akukhuthazwa ukuba uphendule okanye uncede ngeempendulo, lowo udibanisa naye kufuneka aphendule umbuzo - umntu kufuneka ahlale ekhefu;
- qha ga mshelana kuyo yonke ingxoxo;
- Impendulo ebalulekileyo: inkxaso, inqununu yentloko;
- xa uvakalelwa ngumntu, kubalulekile ukumvumela ukuba awalahle ngaphandle ade ayeke.
Ukuzilolonga ukuphulaphula ngokukhawuleza
Iindlela zokuphulaphulwa kwempatic zenzelwa ukuqeqeshwa kwengqondo, ngamaqela. Injongo yokuzivocavoca kukufunda indlela yokuva enye, ukugxininisa iingxaki ezinokusebenzisana nazo. Umqeqeshi uqhekeka amaqela abe ngamabini aze anikeze umsebenzi-ukusetyenziswa okungafani:
- Ukuzivocavoca ukuphulaphula ngokuthe ngqo . Umqeqeshi unikela ngamalungu amathathu eqela ngamacatshulwa ahlukeneyo, athetha imizuzu emi-3, ngexesha apho izinto zifundwa ngaxeshanye ngabathathu abathathi-nxaxheba. Umsebenzi wabafundi: ukuva oko abanye ababini bafunda, amanye amalungu eqela kufuneka ave kwaye aqonde ukuba yintoni na onke amanqaku athetha ngawo.
- Ukuzivocavoca kumandla okufumanisa ngamazwi omnxibelelwano onyanisekileyo okanye we-finesse . Umqeqeshi unikeza amakhadi ngamagama abhaliweyo kuwo. Umsebenzi wabathathi-nxaxheba ukutshintshana ukufunda ibinzana labo kwaye bengacingi ngokuqhubeka nokulandelwa kwabo, ukuhlakulela ingcamango. Abanye abathathi-nxaxheba baphulaphule ngenyameko baze bagcine: umntu unyanisekileyo okanye awukho. Ukuba izitatimende zinyanisekileyo, ngoko abanye baphakamisa ngesandla sabo ngokuzithoba abavumayo, ukuba akunjalo, umntu othabatha inxaxheba uyamenywa ukuba athathe ikhadi kwakhona kwaye azame kwakhona. Iifowuni kwikhadi ingaba ngolu hlobo:
- xa bememeza, ndikulungele ...
- maxa wambi ndibonakalisa ukwesaba, kungekudala ndi ....
- Ndineentsilelo zam ...
- ngokwalo ndiyathanda ...
- Ndicaphukile kubantu ...
- ikhadi elingenalutho (ukuthetha ngokunyanisekileyo ngawe oko kuza engqondweni ngesikhashana).
Imibuzo yokuphulaphula ngokukhawuleza
Ukuphulaphula i-Empathic yinkqubo enokuyenza imimangaliso. I-teknoloji yokuphulaphula ngokulula kulula ukuyisebenzisa kwaye idinga ingqalelo yokuqala. Xa usebenzisa indlela kwintsapho, kwenzeka izinto ezimangalisayo:
- kwiminyaka engqubanayo;
- Uqhagamshelwano olunzulu nolunzulu phakathi kwabazali nabantwana lwakhiwa;
- kwindlu kukho umoya wokufudumala nokwamkelwa kwamalungu omndeni ngamnye.
Iincwadi zokuphulaphula
Ukuphulaphula okusebenzayo kunye nokungaphelelanga - zombini iindlela zithathwa ngempumelelo kwi-psychotherapy kwaye zizalisana. Ukuqala kweengqondo zengqondo kunye nabani na ofuna ukuqonda abantu, ukuseka ubudlelwane obunyanisekileyo - iincwadi ezilandelayo ziya kuba luncedo:
- "Funda ukuphulaphula" uMnu Moskvin . Encwadini yakhe, ubuntu bomdaka obudumileyo buxelela ibali kunye neentetho ngokubaluleka kokumamela umxhasi wakhe.
- "Ikhono lokuphulaphula. Ikhono lomphathi oyintloko "uBernard Ferrari . Isichasiselo sichaza ukuba i-90% yabasebenzi kunye neengxaki zentsapho zixazululwa ngokuphulaphula ngokunyanisekileyo.
- "Imibuzo yokuphulaphula ngokukhawuleza" Yu. Gippenreiter. Ukufunda ukuva nokuphulaphula abantu abathandekayo bakho isiqinisekiso sobudlelwane obudibeneyo kwintsapho.
- "Awukwazi ukuxelela umphulaphuli. Eminye kwi-management management »Ed. Shane . Ukunxibelelana okuphumelelayo akunakwenzeka ngaphandle kokuqwalasela imithetho emithathu: intetho encinci, ukubuza ngobuchule imibuzo, ukubonisa ukubonga kumnxibelelwano.
- "Ubugcisa bokuthetha nokuLawula" M. Adler . Incwadi iphakamisa iingxaki zonxibelelwano. Ukuphulaphula kuyimpawu ebalulekileyo yokusebenzisana phakathi kwabantu. Incwadi inikeza iingcebiso ezixabisekileyo kunye nobuchule obuyisiseko bokuphulaphula ngokukhawuleza.