Udibanisa ntoni igama elithi "intsapho"? Mhlawumbi ngeengcamango ezinjengobunxinxanthe, uthando kunye nokholo. Kodwa kwenzeka ukuba ubomi bentsapho buzisa intlungu kunye nokuthotywa. Oku kwenza ukuhlaselwa komyeni wakhe. Into eyona nto kukuba iimeko ezinjalo aziqhelekanga, kwaye abafazi bahlala benqwenela ukunyamezela ubundlobongela basekhaya, ukuphucula ubugcisa bokuzenzela nokwenza amabali ngokuxubana nomnyango wengcinezelo endaweni yokubalekela kumyeni onobuqili. Kutheni oku kwenzekayo, kwaye nokuba sifanele sibe nethemba lokuguquka komntu, ngoku siza kuluqonda.
Ukuzibulala kwiNtsapho: Izizathu kunye neziphumo
Ubume bendoda bujoliswe kuba ngabakhuseli, baqulethe oko kuthiwa yi-instinct ye-self-confirmation, enokubangela ukuba abameli bezesondo eziqinileyo bakwazi ukuya kwimidlalo, amabutho axhobileyo, kwaye bajonga ezinye iindlela zokusebenzisa amandla abo. Uninzi lwabantu abacinga ukuba luqhelekile ukubetha abo bathandekayo. Kodwa ukuhlaselwa kwintsapho akuchazwa yile siza, unokwazi ukuba ufuna ukuzithethelela ngenye indlela. Kutheni amadoda ebetha abafazi bawo?
Bonke abantu abajongene nodlobongela kwintsapho banokuhlulwa ngokweemeko zibe zimbini iintlobo. Owona wokuqala, oqhelekileyo, ngaba ngamadoda apho, xa bexabana nomfazi wabo, baqala ukubonisa ubungqina babo ngombono wabo. Kule meko, indoda ayihloneli umfazi wayo njengomntu, kodwa ngexesha elifanayo lixhomekeke kwengqondo yakhe.
Uhlobo lwesibini lwabasetyhini bendoda aluqhelekanga, kodwa luyingozi kakhulu. Abantu abanjalo akudingeki ukuba baqokelele ubugwenxa, bahlasele umfazi, ngelixa behlala bezolile. Aba bantu banesifo sengqondo, kwaye ngoko ke bayingozi kowesifazane, ekubeni banokwenza izicwangciso zokuziphindezela ngokuqhawula umtshato, ukufikelela kunye nokuquka ukubulala.
Izizathu zokunciphisa umntu ongaqhelekanga ukuba enze izenzo ezinobundlobongela akulula ukuzifumana, kodwa oko kukhuthaza abantu abahlukumezayo bohlobo lokuqala bangenasiphelo. Amadoda anjalo alahlekelwa ngumntu oqhelekileyo, aziva ukuba akanalo igunya phezu kwanoma yini kwaye azama ukuziva, axabise abafazi bawo. Aba bantu bakholelwa ukuba ibhinqa kufuneka linikeze intuthuzelo ngokomoya, kwaye ukuba abayiva ngenxa yesizathu esithile, baqala ukubetha iqabane labo.
Ubundlobongela obuhluphekileyo kwintsapho, abafazi abasengozini nje kuphela babo ubomi kunye nempilo, kodwa kunye nekamva labantwana babo. Abantu abakhulayo kwiintsapho ezinjalo bahlala bengenabomi bomntu. Abafana baziva benetyala ngenxa yokuba bengakwazi ukukhusela unina okanye bafana noyise. Amantombazana ayesaba ubudlelwane obunzulu, becinga bonke abantu njengabathakathi.
Indlela yokululela umyeni wakho ekuhlaselweni?
Ngokuqhelekileyo abasetyhini abethwa ngumyeni baqala ukuzitshintsha ngokwabo imeko. Kwaye azinakulunganga, ngokuqhelekileyo umfazi onomsindo wakhe, isimo sengqondo sokunyaniseka senza ukuba kubonakale kunobundlobongela kumadoda anesilonda. Kwenzeka ukuba ukulwa kwintsapho kuhlawulelwa ngokutsha, emva koko isibini esithandanayo sivakalelwa ngakumbi. Kwimeko nayiphi na into, kulwalamano olunjalo nolwalamano oluxhomekeke kumntu, kuba abaninzi besetyhini abaye bashiya iindlovu zamadoda, emva kwexesha, babuyele kubo. Oku kubonakala nakwiimbuzo abafazi abanomdla ekufumaneni ukubetha kwabayeni babo. Banoba nomdla kwindlela yokuxhatshaza amadoda abo ekuhlaselweni, oko kukuthi, abasetyhini abanqwenela ukuyeka ulwalamano olunjalo, kuba kuyaqondakala ukuba akunakwenzeka ukuba unqande abantu kubundlobongela. Ukuba umntu unomkhuba wokubetha umfazi wakhe, awuyi kupheliswa. Ukusebenza ekulondolozeni intsapho kunokwenzeka kuphela ukuba ukuhlaselwa akusiyo isigxina, kwaye ukuba loo mntu uyazi ukuba unengxaki yokuzithiba kwaye ufuna ukuzisebenzela. Emva koko umfazi kufuneka adumise isithunzi somntu othandekayo, abe ngumkhwenkqo kwaye ahlaziye.
Indlela yokujezisa indoda ngenxa yokuhlaselwa?
Ngaphantsi kwexesha, amantombazana azama ukufumana iindlela zokusola umntu ngenxa yokuhlaselwa. Ezi ndlela zifakiwe kwimpendulo, unokudibana neengcebiso zokuthatha ipani yokutshiza (okanye ezinye izitsha zokupheka) kwaye ubethe abathembekileyo, ukuze azive ekhanda lakhe