Uhlalutyo lomsebenzi

Iindlela zokuhlalutya ngokucetywayo zacetyiswa ngu-American psychotherapist u-Eric Berne ngo-1955. Emva koko, isetyenzisiwe sisetyenzisiwe kwaye sagqitywa ngabaninzi beengcali ze-psychotherapists. Iinkqubo zokuhlalutya ngokuchanekileyo zivumela abantu ukuba baziqonde baze baqonde indlela abaziphatha ngayo. Oku kuyimfuneko kubantu abaneengxaki zeengqondo, kunzima ukuthetha. Uhlalutyo oluthile lunceda ukuqonda imbangela yeengxabano kunye nokufumana iindlela zokuzicima.

Amalungiselelo asemgangathweni kunye neengcamango zokuhlalutya

Uhlalutyo oluthethathethwano oluthile luthiwa uhlalutyo lwezonxibelelwano, kuba luhlola umntu ngokusebenzisana nabanye abantu. Iisiseko zobugcisa bokuhlalutya ngokuchanekileyo zezi zilandelayo:

1. Bonke abantu baqhelekileyo, umntu ngamnye unelungelo elilinganayo lokuzihlonela kunye nembono yakhe. Umntu ngamnye ubaluleke kwaye unzima.
2. Bonke abantu banokwazi ukucinga, ngaphandle kweemeko zokubeleka okanye ukufumana ukulimala, okanye ukungazi.
3. Abantu ngokwabo bazakhela iinjongo zabo kwaye basesikweni sokutshintsha ubomi babo ngaphandle kokulandela izigqibo zangaphambili.

Isisombululo esisisiseko kukuba umntu ofanayo, eimeko ezahlukeneyo, unokusebenza ngesiseko se-ego. Uhlalutyo oluchanekileyo luhlukanisa u-3 ego uthi: umntwana, omdala nomzali.

Ingundoqo yoluhlalutyo lwentengiso

Njengoko sele sele khankanywe ngasentla, kwiingqondo, ngenjongo yokuhlalutya, u-three ego uthiwa: umntwana, umzali kunye nomdala.

1. I - ego-state yomntwana ibonakaliswe yimpembelelo yemvelo evela kumntwana. Kubandakanya amava okuqala abantwana, izimo zengqondo, ukuphendulela kwakho kunye nabanye abantu. Umbuso onjalo uchazwa njengendlela yokuziphatha endala kumntu obuntwaneni. Imeko yomntwana ixanduva lokubonakalisa ukudala komntu.
2. Umbuso we-ego omdala awuxhomekeke kwiminyaka yomntu. Ibonakaliswa ngomnqweno wokufumana ulwazi lwenjongo kunye nokukwazi ukuqonda into ekhoyo yangoku. Eli lizwe luchaza umntu olungelelanisiweyo, olungeleleneyo kunye noluncedo. Usebenza ngokufunda okwenene, ukuvavanya ngokunyanisekileyo amandla akhe nokubala kuwo.
3. I-state-state yomzali ifaka isimo sengqondo esithathwa ngumntu ngaphandle, ngokuqhelekileyo kubazali bakhe. Ngaphandle, eli lizwe libonakaliswe ngqalelo ekukhathaleleni kunye nabanye abantu kunye neentlupheko ezahlukeneyo. Isimo sangaphakathi somzali sinobuchule njengokuba abazali beziphatha kakuhle, oko kuyaqhubeka kuyichaphazela umntwana omncinci ohlala kuthi ngamnye.

Umzuzu ngamnye wexesha uhambelana nenye yezi zizwe kwaye umntu uziphatha ngokuhambelana nayo. Kodwa phi i-transactivity, kutheni uhlalutyo lubizwa kanjalo?

Inyaniso kukuba ukuthengisiswa kuthiwa yunithi yokunxibelelana, enezinto ezimbini: ukuvuselela kunye nokuphendula. Ngokomzekelo, ukuthabatha ifowuni, sithetha ukubingelela (ukuvuselela), okubangela ukuba udibaniselwano uqalise incoko (oko kukuthi, silindele ukuphendula kwakhe). Xa uxoxisana (oko kukuthi, ukutshintshiselana kwemicimbi), i-ego-states of the interlocutors idibanisana nomnye, kunye nendlela eya kuphumelela ngayo le ntsebenziswano, kuxhomekeke ekubeni ngaba sinokuvavanya ngokwenene urhulumente wethu kunye nombuso we-interlocutor.

Kukho iintlobo ezintathu zokuthengiselana: ukufana (uxhulumaniso phakathi koontanga, impendulo izalisekisa ukuvuselela), ukudibanisa (izikhokelo zokuvuselela kunye nokuphendula zichasene, umzekelo, impendulo ebukhali kumbuzo wemihla ngemihla) kwaye kufihliwe (umntu akatshoyo ukuthini imiqondiso kunye ubuso bobuso abuhambisani namagama).

Ukongezelela, uhlalutyo lokuthengiselana luqwalasela le ngcamango njengesimo kunye nesimo se-antis ebomini babantu. Iimeko - zezi zicwangciso, eyaziwayo okanye ngokungazi kakuhle phantsi kobuntwana ngabazali bethu (ootitshala). Kucacile ukuba akusoloko kusetyenziswa izicwangciso ezinjalo, bahlala bephule ubomi bomntu, ngoko kufuneka balahlekise. Kule njongo, okubizwa ngokuba yi-anti-scenarios (counter-scenarios) esetyenziswayo. Kodwa xa uqulunqa imeko enjalo ye-antis, umntu akahlali enze okulungileyo, uqala ukutshintsha yonke into, nokuba loo migaqo yabazali efanelekileyo kwaye iyimfuneko kuye. Ngoko ke, kufuneka kukhunjulwe ukuba ngenxa yoluhlalutyo lwentengiso, imeko yokuphila kufuneka ihlaziywe, kodwa ngokufanelekileyo, ingqalelo onke amaqela achaphazelekayo namanqanaba asele ekhona.