Kutheni kuvela iingxabano phakathi kwabazali nabantwana?

Bonke abazali bajonge phambili ekuzalweni komntwana wabo. Bazama ukumrhawula ngothando kunye nokunyamekela, bazinikele ixesha labo kuye kwaye batyala kuyo yonke into abayicingekile. Okwangoku, emva kwexeshana, xa umntwana ekhula, ukungqubuzana kuvela ngokuqinisekileyo kwintsapho.

Ngokuqhelekileyo le meko ibeka abazali abancinci kwi-stupor. Umama noTata abazi indlela yokuziphatha kunye nenzala ekhulile, kunye nokunyusa imeko ngezenzo zabo ezingalunganga. Kule nqaku, siza kukuxelela ukuba kutheni kubekho ukungquzulana kwintsapho phakathi kwabazali nabantwana, kwaye bangayisombulula njani.

Iimbangela zeengxabano phakathi kwabazali nabantwana

Ngokuqinisekileyo zonke iingxabano phakathi kwabantu abasondeleyo zivela ekungaqondani. Umntwana omncinci, engazange afikelele kwiminyaka engama-2-3, uqala ukuzibona njengomntu ohlukeneyo kwaye uzama ukubonakalisa ngawo onke amandla akhe ukuba azenzele izigqibo kwaye enze izenzo ezithile ngaphandle kokuncedwa ngumama. Ngexesha elifanayo kuvela ukuba akayiyo rhoqo, edla ngokubangela ukucaphuka kubazali.

Xa beselula, abantwana banenkinga efanayo. Abantu abaselula kunye namantombazana bafuna ukuzihlukanisa nabazali babo ngokukhawuleza, banokucinga ukuba umntwana wabo ngumntwana omncinci. Ukongezelela, umama nobaba banomdla ngokugqithiseleyo ngomsebenzi wabo kwaye banike abantwana babo ithuba elaneleyo elithile, eliza kubakho kwixesha elizayo ukuxabana kwentsapho kunye neentlanzi.

Uninzi lwezengqondo zengqondo zichonga ezi zizathu ezilandelayo zengxabano phakathi kwabazali nabantwana:

• iimpawu zobudala, okanye iingxaki zengqondo;
• ukungabikho kwengqwalasela okanye ukuxhatshazwa kwabazali;
• ulwaphulo olugqithiseleyo kumabini omabini, ukungafuni ukuphulaphula umxhasi;
• ukungamkeli kweembono zeqela eliphikisayo;
• ukungafani kweembono zobomi, obonakala ngokugqithiseleyo ebusheni;
• ukukhathala ngokweqile kwabazali, "ukukhwela" emsebenzini kunye neminye imiba engabandakanyekanga nobomi bomntwana.

Kakade, kunokuba nzima kakhulu ukuphuma kule meko. Ngokukodwa kwimeko apho abazali nabantwana bebandakanyeka kwimpikiswano, kunye nabanye abantu, umzekelo, oogogo. Ngokuqhelekileyo kule meko, igunya loomama noyise emehlweni enyana okanye intombi yabo linciphisa kakhulu, ngenxa yoko akunakwenzeka ukufezekisa iinjongo ezithile zemfundo.

Nangona kunjalo, abazali abancinane kufuneka bazame ukulungisa ingxabano ngokukhawuleza. Ukwenza oku, kufuneka uhlale uzinzile, ufunde ukuphulaphula umntwana wakho kwaye uthathe ukhangelelwano olujonge kakhulu kwindawo yakhe yokuphila, imibono kunye nezinto ezithandayo.

Kwiimeko ezinzima, xa zonke iinzame zabazali zokwenza ubudlelwane nomntwana zihluleke, umntu unokuya kwi-psychologist yezobuchwepheshe eya kunceda ukudala i-microclimate efanelekileyo kwintsapho kwaye ufumane ulwimi olufanayo kumacala amabini aphikisanayo.

Ukongezelela, kuzo zonke iimeko kukho imfuneko yokuhlawula ingqalelo ngokukhethekileyo ekukhuselweni kwengqondo kweengxabano phakathi kwabazali nabantwana, kuba kukho ukuphikisana nokungaqondi kakuhle kulula ukukhusela kunokulungisa ngexesha elizayo. Izinto eziphambili zezi zikhokelo zilandelayo:

• ukwanda rhoqo kwinqanaba lokuphuhliswa kwabazali, ukufundisisa iimpawu zeminyaka yomntwana;
• ukwakheka kwezinto zokuzonwabisa zentsapho;
• ukwahlukana kweembopheleleko ekhaya phakathi koomama, uyise kunye nabantwana abadala;
• ukwakha indawo ecacileyo ekukhuliseni umntwana;
• unxibelelwano olunyanzelekileyo lwabantu abadala kunye nomntwana, olwaziyo nehlabathi lakhe langaphakathi.