Ehlabathini lanamhlanje, bambalwa abantu bacinga malunga novelwano. Ingqungquthela yobomi, uxinzelelo, imeko engabonakaliyo kwezoqoqosho kunye nezinye iingxaki zempilo kubangela umntu ukuba acinge ngezo zinto kunye nokuphila kwabo. Iimeko ezinjalo zingakhokelela ekutshatyalaliswa koluntu kunye nokutshatyalaliswa kwamasiko endabuko, ngoko akufanele ulibale malunga neempawu zabantu.
Uvelwano - yintoni na?
Imfesane ngenye yezona zinto zibaluleke kakhulu, zibonisa iimvakalelo zengxaki okanye imeko. Yintoni uvelwano? Ivumela umntu ukuba aqonde iimvakalelo zabanye abantu aze ahlale ebantwini. Umbuso onjalo unokusekelwe kwimigaqo elandelayo:
- uthando;
- ukuqonda;
- ntlonipho.
Ngokuqhelekileyo, iimvakalelo ezinjalo zivelisa uvelwano ngomnye umntu. Ziyakuboniswa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo:
- magama afunekayo okanye amnene;
- izenzo ezikhuthazayo;
- uncedo lomzimba okanye lwezinto eziphathekayo.
Ukukwazi ukuvelana nomntu kuyimpawu ezilungileyo zomntu , kubalulekile ukukwenza ngexesha kwaye ungabi nxamnye neemeko, njengokuba ngamanye amaxesha kukho iimeko ezichasayo apho le "gesture" iya kuba yinto engabonakaliyo kwaye kukho amathuba okuba uvelwano luya kubangela umonakalo wengqondo kumntu ngamnye. Ngoko ke, kubaluleke kakhulu kwaye ngexesha elifanelekileyo ukubonisa isimo sengqondo esicatshulwayo.
Uthini umahluko phakathi kwenceba kunye novelwano?
Ukuqonda ukuba uvelwano novelwano luya kuba luncedo ekuphuhlisweni komlingiswa nobuntu. Le ngcamango efana nebonisa ukuvakalelwa komnye umntu. Ukwahlukana kwabo kubangelwa kukuba uvelwano aluvumelekanga kuphela ukuqonda imeko, kodwa ukuvakalelwa ngenye indlela. Imfesane nesihawu kufanele kubekho ebomini yoluntu, ngaphandle koko kuya kuba ngumntu ongenamdla kunye nokungakhathaleli kwihlabathi elijikelezile.
Usizi novelwano - yintoni umehluko?
Enye ingqiqo efanayo. Ibonakalisa ngohlobo olufanayo, kodwa ngaphandle kombala ongokomzwelo, ngaphandle kokufumana iimvakalelo kunye neemvakalelo ezifanayo. Ngamanye amaxesha uvakalelo lusizi aluhambisani nomnqweno wokuthatha inxaxheba kwingxaki yomntu, kodwa ibonakaliswa kuphela ngomusa, ngamazwi akhuthazayo. Kwiimeko ezininzi, ukubonisa intlungu, umntu uthumela iimvakalelo zakhe kwelinye, kwaye akafumani abantu abangaziwayo. Imfesane kunye nesihe ngokubanzi zifana neentsingiselo, kodwa zine-subtext eyahlukileyo.
Ngaba uvelwano luhle okanye lubi?
Abantu abaninzi bayazibuza ukuba abantu bafuna ukuvelana. Impendulo yalo mbuzo ingabini, kwaye ngamnye ngamnye unokuchaza kwayo:
- Uvelwano luyimfuneko kuba luqinisa ubudlelwane boluntu kuluntu, luvumela abantu ukuba bahlale abantu baze babonise iimvakalelo zabo. Uvelwano, sibonisa ukuba umntu akanandaba nathi.
- Ukuba umntu uphazamisekile, uvelwano luya kunciphisa isimo sakhe sengqondo, luphucule iimvakalelo ezimbi kwaye zenze ngcono imeko. Kule meko, uvelwano luya kuba lukhulu.
Ukususela kwiimpendulo ezicatshangwayo, sinokugqiba ukuba ukufunana kubalulekile kwixesha elithile, kuxhomekeke kwimeko kunye nesimo sengqondo somntu ekubhekiswe kuye. Kubalulekile ukuba ungadluli kwaye wazi ukuba ukubonakaliswa kwesimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo kuya kulungele ukunceda ngokwenene umntu, kwaye kungekudala, kukunyusa imeko.
Ngaba udinga uvelwano novelwano ebomini bakho?
Umbuzo onzima kakhulu, umfilosofi: ngaba ufuna imfesane novelwano ngabantu? Uninzi lwabantu, ngokunokwenzeka, luza kuthetha okufunekayo. Ezi zimpawu zibonakaliso lwenkathalo, kungekhona isimo sengqondo. Kubalulekile ukuba baxelele abantwana malunga nokukhuliselwa kunye nobuntu babo. Ngokusoloko efumana inxalenye yemvakalelo yenceba novelwano, umntu unokuzifuna ngokuphindaphindiweyo - uya kufakwa kwiimeko zexhoba okanye uya kulinda isisombululo esisigxina seengxaki zakhe. Unako ukusebenzisa i-fortune yakhe ukufezekisa iinjongo. Ngako oko, inqaku elithi "yonke into elungileyo ngokumodareyitha" ayiyonto.
Ungafunda njani ukuvelana novelwano?
Impendulo yombuzo wendlela yokubonisa uvelwano iya kuxhomekeka kwiimeko ezithile. Kubalulekile ukuba sikwazi ukuchaneka kwaye ngexesha liba novelwano. Umntu kufuneka abonise ukuba bayamqonda, babelane ngamava akhe, kodwa ngelo xesha banika amandla okuphuma kuloo meko yangoku. Kufuneka njalo:
- phu laphule umntu;
- wabelane ngamava akho;
- phazamisa kwingxaki;
- unikele ngoncedo olunokwenzeka okanye izisombululo kwiingxaki;
- Kwezinye iimeko kubalulekile ukunika umntu ithuba lokuqonda iingcamango zakhe.
Iincwadi malunga novelwano
Ukuqonda okupheleleyo nangokujulileyo kwintetho yekota, ungabhekisela kwezinye iincwadi, abadala kunye nabantwana. Umzekelo:
- Incwadi yombhali uRuth Minshull "Indlela yokukhetha abantu bakho" ithetha malunga nokuba ungayithobela ingqalelo xa udibana nabantu kunye nendlela yokukhetha abo abanokuthiwa kuthiwa "babo". Incwadi inesahluko esahlukileyo esinikezelwe kwingqiqo yovelwano.
- U-Alex Cabrera "AbaFairies bathetha ngovelwano" -iyincwadi enhle kakhulu, enikeza ithuba lokudlulisela umntwana intsingiselo yale ngcamango baze bamfundise ngexesha elifanelekileyo lokubonisa uvelwano.
Iincwadi malunga novelwano novelwano zivumela abantu ukuba bavule ngakumbi kwaye babenomusa, bafundise abantwana ukuba bangabandakanyeli kwezinye iimeko. Ukuzikhumbuza ngezihlandlo ngokwakho uvelwano, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha awukwazi ukwenza ngaphandle kwalo, ungenza umhlaba ube yindawo engcono. Ubonakaliso lwengqondo enjalo, kunye novelwano kunye noxhasano olulandelayo, lukhokelela ekuhlanganiseni uluntu, ukusekwa kobudlelwane boluntu phakathi kwalo, ukugcinwa kwezithethe kunye nokuqhagamshelaniswa kwezizukulwana. Oku kubalulekile ekuphuhliseni umphakathi ogcweleyo, oqolileyo, ozinzile.