Uthando okokuqala ngumbono onothando kunye ... nokuphikisana. Abayikholelwa kuyo, kodwa bayayilinda ngasese, bayayinqabela, iphefumlelwe ngokudalwa kweefilimu, imibongo, iincwadi. Sicinga ukuba kukho uthando ekuqaleni kokubona, ziziphi iimpawu zalo kwaye yintoni, ngokwenene, esi sivakalelo.
Ingaba kukholwa kwintando kuqala?
Ukungakholelwa othandweni ekuboneni kuqala, njengomthetho, kuza kuthi emva kweminyaka, emva koluhlu lwezinto ezidakisayo kunye ... namava. Sifunda ukungathembeki, kwaye ukwesaba oko kuya kusilimaza, kukhula kwaye kutyatye umbala ogonyamelo. Kwaye ke kufika umzuzu xa sithemba ukuba asikholelwa, sinqabe ukuba kukho uthando ekuqaleni kokubona (nangona ukungakholelwa kuyo nayiphi na into engasiqinisekisi nangayiphi indlela). Kodwa kulungile ukucinga ukuba ngamnye wethu kumzuzwana olandelayo unokuhlaselwa ngumqondo ocacileyo kunye nokuqonda (naphezu kokuphefumula) yintoni ebomini.
I-Psychology, njengomthetho, ukujonga uthando ekuqaleni kokubona kwi-prism yokuqonda ukuba uthando luvakalelwa kungekudala, ludinga ixesha lokukhawulelana namava ahlangeneyo. Ngexesha elifanayo kuthathwa njengokuba kuthatha nje ngaphezu komzuzu ukuba sikhethe ukukhetha umlingane othile. Imizuzwana engama-90 ubuchopho buphumelela ekufaniseni umfanekiso wesimo esihle (kwimbono yethu) iqabane kunye nomfanekiso wolunye uhlanga. Ukuba ucinga ukuba olu khetho lunokulungiswa kwixesha elizayo, kutheni ungaluboni njengothando kuqala?
Iingxaki zothando ekuqaleni
Yintoni ethathwa njengothando ekuqaleni. Njengomthetho, iintlanganiso zokuqala zithetha, kuba imeko yokuvela kololu hlobo luthando aludingi ukuba lujonge kwaye luphela. Kubonakala ukuba ngamanye amaxesha siseburhulumenteni apho into ethile engumntu ephawuleza ivela kuyo yonke into engqondweni (okanye kunoko, ingqondo engqondweni), ngokungathi "siyayibona", isusa umfanekiso ngaphandle kwesihlwele esingenanto. Ingxaki kukuba "ukuqaphela" kuthetha umzobo ozenzekelayo wefotra, ocinga ukuba uyazi kwiinkcukacha zokugqibela. Ukuphazamiseka kukuza ukuba umahluko omkhulu kakhulu. Nangona kunjalo, kufuneka uvume, oku akuwona umgaqo. Kodwa umgaqo wokwenene "uthando luyimfama" lunokunceda ukusinda ngokufanelekileyo ukulungiswa komfanekiso.
Ngoku makhe sithethe malunga nendlela esabela ngayo kwintlungu engxamisekileyo. Uninzi lwabantu luvuma ukuba bawagxotha amehlo xa badibana nomntu owamchukumisa. Ngexesha elifanayo, ibali lomthando ekuqalekeni lizele imizekelo, xa abantu abangaqhelekanga babamba izandla ngomzuzu, ngokungathi babesazi bonke ubomi babo. Kukho amabali amaninzi olwalamano kwihlabathi lethu, kwaye nangona bonke bebodwa, banokuhlukaniswa ngamaqela aphezulu. "Uthando ekuqaleni" lunye lwazo. Emva koko, abantu badumazeka ngamanye amaxesha emva kweminyaka emininzi yokuhlala kunye. Kutheni unganiki ithuba lokuvakalelwa ngokukhawuleza wangena ebomini, ukuba lulethe imibala nemincili eninzi.
Ufuna ukuzikhumbuza:
- uyamthanda umntu omele ufunde. Musa ukucinga ukuba uyamazi. Fumana iimpawu ezintsha, ujonge umdlalo;
- ngokukhawuleza kufumaneka isiqingatha sinelungelo lokuba yedwa. Ungazami ukubuyisela umntu, oku kudla ngokukhawuleza ukuxhamla ubudlelwane bexesha elide.
Kwaye, ngokubalulekayo, akukho mfuneko yokuphazamisa iimvakalelo ezixhalabisa ngeemvakalelo kunye nokwesaba, kuba akukho namnye ongakwazi ukubona oko kuza kuhokela. Jabulela into oye wahlangabezana nayo, thandana kwaye uyathandwa! Kwaye, ngubani owaziyo, mhlawumbi, ngombuzo wabantwana besikhathi esizayo, njengoko udibene nopapa, uya kuphendula "kwakuyintando yokuqala" ...