Ngokukhawuleza okanye kamva wonke umzali unethuba lokusombulula umbuzo onzima: ushiye umzi wendlu okanye ulinde? Ukwesaba kubazali kuyaqondakala, kuba umntwana unako ukukwazi ukusebenzisa i-naskodit kunye nabo, kwaye yedwa, nangona kunjalo. Kodwa ingozi apha ilele kwenye into ethile yombuzo: njani umntwana uya kuziva njani ngokungabikho kwabazali, kwaye yintoni enokuyifumana yona. Makhe sibone ukwesaba okwenziwa rhoqo ngabazali ngale nto kunye neengcebiso ezimbalwa ezivela kwiingcali.
Ukuzimela okanye ukunyaniseka?
Ezinye iingcali zichasa ngokubanzi imvakalelo yabazali ukuba bafundise abantu ngabanye baze bashiye abantwana ukusuka ezintandathu ukuya kwi sixhenxe ekhaya. Abanye bathi ngethuba lexesha umntwana angase abe ngaphandle kwabantu abadala ixesha kwaye azive eqhelekileyo ngexesha elifanayo.
Vumelana ukuba abazali banenkxalabo malunga nokuba i-crumb iyakwenza ingozi engokwenyama, kwaye phantse ingacingi ngengozi yokuziphatha kunye nokomoya. Kodwa ngokwenene yilo mzuzu umpendulo wombuzo osithandayo. Yonke into incike kwi-psyche yengqondo. Ngokomzekelo, abantwana base-cholera baze baqhube abantu abadala ukuba bawashiye ekhaya, nangona bengacingi kakhulu ngemiphumo. Uninzi lweengcibiliki zengqondo luya kubambelela kuwe, kwaye abantu abaxhamlayo baya kwamkela ngoku njengokuba kunikwe.
Ngelishwa, abantwana abazimeleyo abangayekanga umama ngaphandle kwezinyembezi baze bahlale ekhaya ixesha elide badla ngokukhawuleza kwaye banentlonelo yokuba bahlaziye ukuba bangabhubhisi omnye umntu omdala. Abantu abanokufutheka kunxamnye nendawo bahlela indawo yangempela, ukugcina umama noyise ekhaya. Zomibini izigaba zokuziphatha ngumqondiso wokuthi umntwana wakho akaye wedwa ukwesaba ukuba yedwa, kodwa uyingozi. Ingxaki kukuba zonke iinyembezi kunye neemvakalelo ziya kutshintsha zibe yiindidi ezahlukahlukeneyo zeengxaki ze-phobias kunye neengxaki zengqondo kwiimvumba.
Kutheni umntwana oyikayo omnye ekhaya?
Abazali bafanele baqonde ukuba ubudala xa umntwana ekulungele ukuhlala ekhayeni yedwa ayigxilwanga kwiincwadi zezifundo ekukhulisweni. Kuwo wonke umntwana le yinto ehlukileyo kwaye phantse njalo into yokuqala yokunqoba kukuba ukwesaba.
Abazali bafanele balandele impendulo yomntwana wabo kwaye bazame ukuchonga ukwesaba kunye nezizathu zabo. Kwiminyaka nganye banabo:
- eneminyaka emithathu ubudala, abantwana bakholelwa ngokuthembeka kwiindaba ezibuhlungu kwaye, zodwa zodwa, ezi ndaba ezibuhlungu ziyingozi kakhulu, kwaye umntwana uyaqonda ukuba ngaphandle koluncedo lomntu omdala angakwazi ukujamelana nabo;
- kwiminyaka emithandathu okanye eyisixhenxe, ixesha elifanayo xa ukwesaba ukufa kwabantwana kufinyelela kwi-apogee yayo, ngoko ke ukuba kunokwenzeka, kungcono ukuxoxa ngale ngxaki nomntwana kwaye uyithathe nayo yonke indawo;
- kwiminyaka ekhulileyo xa umntwana eqala ukucinga ngokufa kwabazali kunye nokuba kungenzeka ukuba kwenzeka into ethile kubo.
Ukuba akukho zikhetho?
Ewe, kukho iinjongo ezipheleleyo ngokupheleleyo, xa kungekho ndlela enye kwaye kufuneka ushiye umntwana ekhaya. Kule meko, kufuneka ulungiselele umntwana kwaye uqinisekise ukhuseleko lwakhe.
- Mbonise indlela yokufowunela inombolo yakho okanye inombolo yezihlobo kwifowuni. Ukuba inkomo ingazi iinombolo okwamanje, bonisa inkinobho yokufutshane, kubantwana abadala, bhala phantsi zonke iifowuni apho kufuneka ufune umnxeba.
- Qaphela ukhuseleko : zonke iziyobisi, izixhobo zombane kunye nezinye izinto ezinobungozi
qi niseka ukuba ususe kude kunokwenzeka. Ndixelele kwangaphambili ukuba kutheni ungeke uthathe le nto okanye into leyo, kwaye ucacise isangqa sezinto ezivunyelwe. - Xelela abamelwane ukuba uceba ukushiya umntwana ixesha elithile kwaye umcele ukuba aphulaphule izandi ehostlwini. Kwaye ucele ukuba uhlale naye.
Ngoko, sithini na? Umzali ngamnye unquma ukuba ngumntwana oneminyaka engakanani ukulungela ukuhlala ixesha elide ekhaya, kuxhomekeke kwisimo sakhe kunye nesimbolo sokukhuliswa, iimpawu ngamnye. Iingcebiso ezikuphela kunye neziphambili - zilibazise eli xesha ngokukhawuleza.