Icandelo elibalulekileyo laluphi na ulwalamano luyathemba kunye nentlonipho yomntu ngamnye. Ukungabikho kwezi zixhobo kunokukhokelela ekuveleni kobudlelwane obunxilongo obusekelwe kukuzingca, ukungaqondi kunye nogonyamelo. Kulula ukucacisa umxhaphazi, kwaye ukuhlala naye kunokuba nzima kwaye kunobungozi.
Abuz - yintoni na?
Igama elithi "ukuxhaphaza ubudlelwane" lwavela kwiingcinga zengqondo kungekudala, ngoko kunesizathu sokubuza malunga naluphi uhlobo lobudlelwane kunye nomxhaphazi lowo? Igama elithi "abyuz" linezimpembelelo zesiNgesi kwaye liguqulelwe ngokuthi "unyango olunzima", "ubudlova", "ukuhlambalaza". U-Abuzer ngumntu ohleka isiqingatha sakhe sesibini, umxinzelele, ugxothise okanye angayinaki iminqweno yakhe, ukuhlambalaza, ukukhokelela kwizenzo ezithile okanye ukubonisa ukuphathwa kakubi ngokomzimba.
Ulwalamano oluxhaphazayo, umntu wesibini uya kwenza njengexhoba ongenalo ilungelo lokuvota kwaye ngamaxesha okanye afumana ukunyanzeliswa kwengqondo okanye ngokomzimba evela kumlingane. Ngenxa yeziganeko zengqondo, ixhoba linokunyamezela ubudlelwane obuhlukumezayo ixesha elide, kumenza umhlukumezi enze izenzo zobundlobongela nogonyamelo.
U-Abuz uneentlobo ezinjalo:
- ubundlobongela obunokwenziwa kwengqondo okanye obundlobongela ngqo kwiqabane lesicwangciso sengqondo;
- Ukuphathwa kakubi ngokomzimba - udlame lomzimba kumntu;
- Ukuxhaphazwa ngokwesondo - ukunyanzeliswa kweqabane kumntu osondelene ngokomzimba ngaphandle kwemiba kunye nemeko yomzimba;
- Ukusetyenziswa kakubi kwezoqoqosho - iqabane libeka ngokuxhomekeke ngokupheleleyo ngokubeka iliso kwizinto eziphathekayo zezemali.
Ukunyanzeliswa kwengqondo
Ukuqwalasela ukuba yiyiphi i-abyuz kwingqondo, abaphandi banakucaphele ingqalelo yendawo ephosakeleyo yengqondo. Isizathu salokhu silele kwinto yokuba olu luhlobo oluqhelekileyo lobundlobongela kubuhlobo. Ukusetyenziswa kakubi kweengqondo kubonakaliswe kwisongelo, ukuthotywa, ukuhlambalaza umntu . Iqabane eliphefumlelweyo liphefumlelwe ukuba alibalulekanga, lingenakuthandeka, liyizihlunu, liyakwazi nantoni na. Esi simo sengqondo sikhokelela ekunciphiseni ukuzithemba komlingane, ukubonakala koxinzelelo kunye nokudandatheka, ukungathandi ukuthetha nabanye abantu.
Uthando lweengqondo i-abyuz inezintlobo ezimbini zokubonakaliswa:
- Vula i-abyuz . I-Abuzer ibonisa isimo sayo sengqondo esichaphazelekayo ngokubhekiselele kwi-satellites yokuphila ngendlela evulekile phambi kwabanye abantu. Unako konke ukuxelela ukuba iqabane lakhe liyathayisa kwaye liyize, linempawu ezimbi zobuntu kunye nemikhwa emibi.
- Abyuz efihliweyo . U-Abuzer unobungqina obukhulu kakhulu kumlingane wakhe kuluntu, kodwa ukuphanga ngasese. Uhlala esenza amabango kumlingane, ubonakalisa ukunganeliseki ngokuziphatha kwakhe, ubonisa ukungaphumeleli, uthetha amazwi ahlaselayo, ahlazeke.
Ukusetyenziswa kakubi ngokwesondo
Ngenkcazo echanileyo yintoni ekuxhatshazwa ngayo, kunzima ukufumana igama elifanelekileyo kunobundlobongela. Uxinzelelo kwiqabane liyakwazi ukuzibonakalisa kuzo zonke iindawo, kodwa ukuxhatshazwa ngokwesondo kuyona nto ibuhlungu kakhulu kwi-psyche. Lo mbandela wobudlelwane babantu udinga ukucoceka okukhulu nokuqonda. Umxhaphazi akafuni ukuqwalasela iimfuno kunye nemeko yeqabane, ekumbona njengento eyanelisa izifiso zakhe zesondo.
Kwi-90% yamatyala, indoda ixhaphaza ngokwesondo. Ulungelelanisa ukuziphatha kwakhe kukuba umfazi kufuneka azalise umsebenzi wakhe. Ngokuxhatshazwa ngokwesondo, umfazi ufumana imiphumo efanayo nokudlwengulwa. Olu hlobo lobundlobongela lunokudlulela iminyaka, ngenxa yokokuba umfazi angakwazi ukutshatyalaliswa kwengqondo rhoqo, ubonakalise ukunganakwa ebomini, ukunganakwa kunye nokuthambekela kokuzibulala.
Ubundlobongela ubudlelwane - iimpawu
Ubundlobongela bubundlobongela, ngoko kulula ukufunda lolu hlobo lolwalamano. Kubudlelwane obuhlukumezayo, iindlela ezahlukeneyo zingasetyenziselwa, iinjongo zokuhlazisa nokuhlambalaza ubuntu bomlingane. Ulwalamano olubi luba nempawu ezinjalo:
- Nomona . Iqabane lizama ukulawula ulwalamano lomlingane wakhe, ngakumbi xa kuthethwa ukuthetha nomntu wesini esahlukileyo.
- Uphando . Iqabane lifuna iingxelo rhoqo malunga neli qabane elenzayo, apho wayekho naxa.
- Crooks . Ukungabikho komxhaphazi kumxhaphazi ngenxa nayiphi na isizathu kunokuzisa umlingane ukuba acinge ukuzibulala, utyhafu okanye uxinzelelo.
- Iintlawulo . Ulwalamano oluhlukumezayo, omnye umlingani uhlala enetyala leengxaki okanye enetyala lokuba umhlukumezi kufuneka ahambe ngokungafanelekanga.
- Ukunyamezela . I-Abuser igxeka nanini nayiphi na imeko, kwaye inyathelo lokuxolelana lihlala lilindele kwiqabane.
- Ukulungiswa kwemeko . Imvakalelo yomxhaphazi inokutshintsha nangona naziphi na izizathu, ngokuqhelekileyo kwindlela echasa ngayo. Emva kokuvutha komsindo, ukhawuleza udibanise, ngelixa iqabane liyakwazi ukubuyela emva kwimeko yakhe yomsindo okanye yomzimba.
Iimpawu zezilwanyana zaseBudzer
Kwi-90% yamatyala, abahlukumezi ngamadoda. Oku kungenxa yendima ebalulekileyo yamadoda kwiinkulungwane ezininzi kunye nobukho bezinga eliphezulu le-hormone ye-testosterone ejongene nobudlova. I-Abuzera-indoda ingabonwa ngezibonakaliso ezinjalo:
- Unemfuno ezahlukileyo kuye nakumlingane wakhe: into engayivumeleli ibhinqa, ibona ivumelekile;
- Ngethuba lombambano usebenzisa ukunyuka kwezwi, ukukhala;
- ubonisa ukuphakama kwakhe ngokomzimba, esongela ubundlobongela;
- ukushiya yedwa kwindawo engaziwayo;
- ugxeke iqabane lamanga, alikho ithemba kuye ngamazwi akhe;
- uyongamela iingxoxo zefoni zomlingane, uhlola imiyalezo;
- U-abyuzer-indoda unomona nanoma yimuphi umntu onxibelelana naye. Eyona nto ingcono ukuthetha, umona omkhulu.
I-Abuzer-ibhinqa - iimpawu.
Ngobudlelwane obuhlukumezayo, inxaxheba engafanelekanga idlala ibhinqa. Ekubeni ebuthakathaka kunomntu ngokwenyama, umfazi oxhaphazayo usebenzisa ezinye iindlela zokuhlazisa kunye nokuxhaphaza iqabane lakhe. Kwi-arsenal yayo kukho iindlela ezinje:
- ukwala ulwalamano olusenyameni, ukugculelwa kwamakhono olwabelana ngesondo;
- Ubundlobongela bakhe bujoliswe kwizinto zeqabane, ukubetha izitya, izixhobo, iimpahla zokuphanga;
- lihlola zonke iinyathelo zomlingane, lilawula ngendlela ebenjalo bonke abantu abazungezile bazi ngayo;
- nganye intlanganiso iqala ngokuphanda apho kwaye kunye nobani;
- ukunganeliseki rhoqo ngokuziphatha komlingane;
- kubuza imibuzo yekhono lomlingani, ugxeke umntu.
Kutheni ube yi-abyuzeryami?
Kukho izizathu ezininzi zokuba umntu engumxhaphazi. Eziphambili zi:
- kwintsapho yabazali kwakukho ubudlelwane obuhlukumezayo;
- umxhaphazi wayexhatshazwa ngokwesini okanye ngokuphathwa kakubi ebuntwaneni okanye ebusheni;
- Ukuzithemba okuphantsi kwe-abyuser, okungaqondi ngokuzama ukunyusa ngokuhlazisa omnye;
- iingxaki zeengqondo nezifo;
- iimpawu zobuninzi: ukubonakalisa, ukugwenxa, ubugunyazi, ukungakwazi ukuzilawula, ukuzingca.
Indlela yokuziphatha nomxhaphazi?
Ukusetyenziswa kakubi ebubudlelwaneni - nesi sizathu sokuba kutheni ufanele ukuphula ubuhlobo kunye nokuzama ukuqala ubomi obutsha. Umntu oye waba ngumxhaphazi akakwazi ukuguqula indlela yakhe yokuziphatha ngaphandle koncedo lweengcali kunye nokuyeka ukuhlazisa umlingane wakhe kunye nokubonisa uxhaphalo. Ingakumbi iqabane lizama ukulungelelanisa umoni kwaye alibanga umsindo wakhe, ukuqhubela phambili umxhaphazi. Olu luhlu lweentlalontle zentsapho lukhuni kubo bonke amalungu entsapho, ngoko ke indlela engcono yokuphuma kwimeko leyo kukuphulaphula ubudlelwane obunjalo.
Ungayeka njani ukuxhaphaza?
Umntu oye waba ngumxhaphazi, kunzima ukuzilawula ngokwakho. Ucinga ukuba ukuziphatha kwakhe kuya kunyanzelwa, kubangelwa ukuziphatha okungalunganga komlingane. Into yokuqala efuna ukuba yenziwe ukuyeka ukuba ngumxhaphazi ukuyiqonda ingxaki. Ukuphathwa kakubi ngokomzimba, ngokwesondo, okanye kwimiba enemiphumo, nto leyo imele iqhube umxhaphazi kwingcamango yokuba wenza into engalunganga. Kufuneka aqonde ukuba isizathu esiyinhloko siphezu kwakhe, kwaye kungekhona kubantu abakujikelezile.
Ukukrazula iminqweno yabo emibi, izazi zeengqondo zincoma ukuba i-abhsser icinge ngale mibuzo:
- Ziziphi iimeko ezibangelwa ukungalunganga?
- Yisiphi isizathu esona sizathu sokuziphatha: ukukhathazeka kwabantwana, ukuzithemba okuphantsi, ubunzima bebodwa, amava abo?
- Ziziphi iziphumo zokuziphatha kakubi?
- Unokwenza njani ngokungafaniyo neemeko eziye zavela?
Iziphumo ze-Abuza
U-Abuz unemiphumo elandelayo:
- ukuphulwa kobudlelwano boluntu ;
- ukunyuka kokuthembela kunye nobudlelwano obusondeleyo;
- ukuhlaziywa kwabesifazane emva kokuba i-Abyuza yinto echanekileyo kwaye ihambelana nokungafuneki komfazi ukuqhubeka nokuzama nantoni na ukulahlekelwa ngumdla ebomini;
- ukunciphisa ukuzithemba kunye neemeko ezixinzelelekileyo kwiqabane eliye lalawulwa ngogonyamelo;
- ukunciphisa ubudlelwane ubuncinci okanye ikhefu elipheleleyo.
Iincwadi malunga ne-abyuzers
Ukuqonda kakuhle isihloko sobundlobongela, kuyafaneleka ukufunda ezo ncwadi malunga ne-abyuz:
- Uphicotho lwe-Dalsegg "kwi-Hook. Indlela yokwaphula isangqa sobudlelwane obubi . " Le ncwadi ichaza ukuba kutheni abantu baqhelisa ubudlova kunye nendlela yokuphepha kuyo nayiphi na impembelelo.
- Lundy Bancroft "Kutheni enjenjalo?" . Ngomzekelo othakazelisayo, umbhali usitshela ukuba umntu akufanele akwazi ukunyamezela ubudlelwane obuhlukumezayo aze azame ukuzivumelanisa nabo.
- Intengo kaNancy, uJames Grant "ebhedini kunye notshaba . " Lo mzobo uchaza ingxaki yobudlelwane obuhlukumezayo, apho umlingisi oyintloko uzama ukulahla kwiintlungu zokufa.
Iifrimu malunga ne-abyuzeryov
Iifilimu malunga nokuxhaphaza ubudlelwane zibangel 'umdla kuba zibonisa ezo ntsebenzo kwimimiselo yobomi. Iifilimu ezithandwa kakhulu zi:
- "Kumkani wam . " Emva kokulimala, umlingiswa oyintloko ucinga malunga nendlela aphile ngayo ubudlelwane bakhe kunye nomlingane.
- "Umfazi waseStalin . " Kwifilimu, eyakhiwe kwiimbali zembali, uxelelwa ngo-abyuzere obeka iminqweno yakhe phakathi kwentsebenziswano.
- "Maleficent" . Kule filimu, kwifom ye-fairy-tale, i-abyuse ichazwa ngokubhekiselele kwi-heroine ephambili, iimvakalelo zakhe neemvakalelo emva kwakhe, kunye nokuzama ukuphuma kwimeko yokugula kwengqondo.