Ngamnye wethu unemigaqo ethile esingayilungele ukuyenza kuyo nayiphi na imeko. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha siyabanjwa kwiimeko. Apha, umzekelo, abantu abaninzi banomthetho wokuba bangabonisana nabantu abatshatileyo. Ngaba kunzima ukujonga ubungqina bendoda yokubambisana ngomunwe womntu ngaphambi kokuba umnike inombolo yakhe yefowuni? Umgaqo-siseko, akukho bunzima, kodwa kuphela xa umntu ebopha ingubo, kwaye ngokwenene baninzi, befuna ukuphumla, basuse indandatho, badukise amantombazana. Kwaye kulungile, ukuba intlanganiso enye ibanjwe, kwaye yintoni oyenzayo xa ubuhlobo buya kude? Indlela yokuphila xa uthanda indoda e tshatayo?
Ndiyamthanda indoda esatshatileyo, yintoni endiyenzayo?
Ungatsho ngokuphindaphindiweyo amawaka amthandayo umntu otshatileyo, kwaye ngeendlela zonke uyabagweba abo bale meko. Kodwa, naphezu kwayo yonke imigaqo kunye neenkolelo, ukuthandana ama-triangles asinqabile kwaye abafazi abaninzi, bebanjwe ebudlelwaneni obunjalo, bafuna isisombululo esihle. Leyo yindlela ekhethekileyo: ukuqhubeka nokuthanda umntu otshatileyo okanye uzame ukulibala? Zombini izisombululo zineempumelelo kunye neengxaki, kukukhetha ukuba wenze isigqibo.
Uthando lokunyamekela!
Ndiyamthanda indoda esatshatileyo, yintoni endiyenzayo? Ewe, ukuba uhlale naye, ngokuba uthando ngummangaliso kwaye awukwazi ukusabalalisa iimvakalelo ezinjalo. Abaninzi abasetyhini baya kuthetha, kodwa abaninzi balabo banike icebiso elinjalo, abazange bathandane nabantu abangenasiphelo. Ewe, unokushiya njengoko kunjalo, ujabulele kwiintlanganiso ezingapheliyo kwaye ulahlekise ingcamango yokuba ngeli xesha waqamba umfazi wakhe. Ukuzama ukungazondeli iiveki kunye neholide ngenxa yokuba ngeli xesha wonke umntu uchitha neentsapho ezingekho ngenxa yokuvalelwa ngumntu otshatileyo. Ngokuphindaphindiweyo, kungabikho nto, ukufumana impendulo kumbuzo wokuba bathanda abantu abatshatileyo, nokuba kutheni oku kwenzekile kuwe. Kwangexesha elide akunakwenzeka ukuhlala kwaye kungekudala kuya kubakho ukhetho lokwenza inxaxheba - ukuzahlula nendoda okanye uzame ukumthabatha usapho.
Ukuba iingcamango zokuhlukana zingenakuze zibekezeleke, ke zihlala kuphela ukutshabalalisa intsapho yomnye umntu. Indlela yokubopha umntu kuye ngokwakhe uyazi onke amabhinqa, kodwa ngaba kufanelekile ukwenza? Kule nyathelo, kukho iingxoxo ezininzi.
- Ngaba uyaqiniseka ukuba lo ngumntu oyifunayo ukudala intsapho? Ukunyamezela nothando kuya kudlulela, kodwa yintoni eya kuhlala? Ngaba akunakwenzeka ukuba utshabalalise ulonwabo lomntu, kodwa awufumani lakho?
- Kukho uluvo lokuba akunakwenzeka ukwakha ulonwabo kwintlungu yomnye umntu, kwaye ngokwenene, ipesenti yabantu abanomdla obonwabileyo nomfokazi mncinci. Mhlawumbi le karma isebenza, kodwa mhlawumbi abafazi benza ukhetho olungalunganga, ngubani owaziyo?
- Cinga, ukuba umntu wayekhohlisa ixesha elide umfazi wakhe, kwaye ngoko wakwazi ukumshiya, ngoko yintoni eya kumthintela ukuba akwenze elinye ixesha? Ukuzithuthuzela ngengcamango yokuba uyimfuneko kwaye uya kukwazi ukugcina isisityebi.
Ungayikhohlwa njani indoda yakho ethandekayo?
Kuthekani ukuba imigaqo yakho ayikuvumeli ukuba uqhubeke udibana nomntu otshatileyo, okanye uyaqonda ukuba ubuhlobo obunjalo abukho namathuba, ukuhlukana kunye nokuzama ukulibala? Kodwa ngaba unakho ukulibala loo mntu umthandayo, nangona utshatile?
Kwaye kutheni? Njengoko kubhalwe phantsi kwendandatho kaSolomon, "Yonke into iyadlula. Kwaye kuya kudlula. " Ininzi into ocinga ukuba ngoku uyayithanda indoda esitshatileyo ayikho nje into yokuzilibazisa, uthando, mhlawumbi lomelele, kodwa akukho nto. Ngoko ke, unokulwa nemvakalelo yakho.
- Ukuba ugqiba ukuphelisa ulwalamano, kufuneka wenze oku apha kwaye ngoku, awunayo nayiphi na imihlangano yokugqibela, ungacwangcisi ikhefu ngosuku, ngeveki, ngenyanga. Chaza nje kumntu ukuba ufuna ukuyeka ulwalamano naye, kutheni ufuna ukwenza oku kwaye ugqityiwe konke ukunxibelelana kule nto. Inombolo yefowuni - kude nencwadi, kunye nayo yonke imemori - xa ubuyela kwixesha elidlulileyo,
kunzima ngakumbi ukuba kuphule ubuhlobo. - Musa ukukhawuleza ngokukhawuleza ulwalamano olutsha, kwaye nangakumbi, ukutshata umntu wokuqala kumgca. Ngaphandle koko, uya kuhlushwa ngumbuzo, nditshatile kwaye ndiyakuthandana nomtshati-into endiyenzayo?
- Ngokuqhelekileyo, thintela izenzo zokugqithisa - yonke into eyenzeka kuwe yenzeka kwiimvakalelo, zama ukuhlala emandleni engqondo.
Sinokuthi ulwalamano nomntu otshatileyo lukhululekile, ithuba lokukhangela omnye umntu (elinde isikhulu), engazikhanyeli uvuyo lwesondo, kodwa lo lu thando?