Kwezibini ezibini apho kukho uthando kunye novelwano, cha, hayi, kodwa kukho ukuxabana. Emva kokuphazamiseka, umnqweno wokuhlanganisana unokuvela ngokukhawuleza, okanye ungabonakala kwiintsuku ezimbalwa, kodwa nangona kunjalo, kuyimfuneko ukuseka ubudlelwane kwaye kufuneka siyenze kuthi, ngabafazi. Ngoko indlela yokwenza uxolo nomntu oyintanda okanye intombi yakho kwaye xa senza kakuhle kakhulu siza kuxubusha ngezinto eziphathekayo namhlanje.
Kufuneka ubeke phi intanda yakho?
Ingcamango "Ndifuna ukwenza uxolo kunye nomthandwa wam" yavela ngokukhawuleza emva kokuxabana? Thatha ixesha lakho, vumela izinto ezinqwenelekayo zihlale zincinci. Bobabini kunye nomchasi wakho unokuthile okucinga ngako. Ewe, kunye neenyembezi zakho, ukudabuka kunye nokumemeza akuncedi ukuseka ubudlelwane. Ngako oko, into yokuqala yokuyenza emva kwengxabano kukukhumuza iinyembezi nokuhlalisa. Ewe, emva koko, kuqhubeka nje ukuba uqaphele isohlwayo lakho (nakuphi na ukuphikisana, bobabini bahlala besetyala, oko kuthetha ukuba iphoso lakho lisesiganeko) kwaye uya kuxolelana.
Indlela yokudibanisa nomhlobo wakho?
Ngaba ucinga indlela yokudibanisa nentanda yakho? Ewe, into elula, yiya kuye uthi "ndixolele." Kodwa oku kukhulu kakhulu kwaye olu khetho alufanelekanga wonke umntu. Yintoni enye ongayicinga ukuba uxolelane kunye nomthandayo?
- Ukuqala kokuxolelana kunokwenzeka ngeentlobo ezincinci - kwiimyalezo ze-SMS. Bhala iimpawu zakho ezizithandayo zothando, unakho kunye nevesi. Ukuba emva kokuqala komyalezo wakho impendulo ayilandelanga, kodwa uyazi ukuba yahanjiswa, bhala wakho othandekayo ngakumbi, mhlawumbi ucaphukile kuwe kwaye ufuna ukunakwa ngakumbi. Ngoko ke umbonisa ukuba ukwenza uxolo nawe kubaluleke kakhulu kwaye uyazisola ngokuxabana kwakho.
- Awufuni ukuthunjulwa ifowuni yakho yeselula? Sebenzisa i-imeyile, ngokuqinisekileyo, ukuba umhlobo wakho uyayisebenzisa ngokukhawuleza ukuba uyibone incwadi yakho.
- Ukuba uyazi ukuba umthandayo uhlala ephulaphule isiteshi senomathotholo, zama ukuza emoyeni uze uxolise ngale ndlela kumntu wakho. Ewe, ngaphezu koko, umenzele ingoma - into ayithandayo, okanye lowo unememori emihle kubo bobabini. Ukuba akukho nto iqinisekileyo yokuba umntu obathandayo uyayiva ukusebenza kwakho, ungayibhala (umzekelo, kwi-dictaphone ekho nafowuni yefowuni).
- Ukuba uhlala kwintsimi enye, ungaya ekhaya ekuqaleni kwaye ulungiselele indlu yokuxolelana okuzayo. Ngokomzekelo, baxhomeke kwiipowusta zefestile kunye negama elithi "Ukuxolela!" Kwaye uqaphele ngamagama athile afudumeleyo.
- Ewe, indlela yeklasi yokwenza, ngokuqinisekileyo, isidlo sasithandana kunye namakhandlela ngokuqhubeka nokuthanda. Kwaye ukuqala ekuxolelaneni okunjalo kunokuba ngamazwi alula, apho uya kubonisa umnqweno wokwenza uxolo kwaye uthethe ukuba kunzima kangakanani ukuxabana. Into ephambili kulo mzuzwana akuyi kubeka ityala kumlingane kuyo nayiphi na into, nokuba ucinga ukuba uphosakele. Kungcono ukuthetha ngale nto xa wenza kwaye ukhohlwe ukuhlambalaza.
Uthandi akafuni ukuxolelaniswa - wenzeni?
Indlela yokudibanisa nomntu othandekayo, xa engafuni ukwenza njalo kwaye akaphendulelwa kuyo yonke imizamo yakho kuyo yonke into? Kufuneka ukuba uhambe ixesha elithile. Mhlawumbi, intanda yakho idinga ixesha elide ukuqonda imeko kwaye uphume ekuxabaneni kunakho.
Unokuthintela njani ukuxabana?
Kunzima kangakanani ukuza nokucela intsilelo kuqala! Ukuze uzisindise ukuhlushwa okunjalo, zama ukuxabana. Ewe, ngamanye amaxesha kunzima ukumelana nokucaciswa kobuqili bobudlelwane, kodwa konke okusemandleni akho. Iingcali zengqondo zincoma ukuba izibini zixabane kunye nehlobo elithile lekhowudi, oku kuthetha ukuba kufuneka uyeke ukuxoxa ngeengxaki ngexesha elithile. Kwaye kuya kufuneka ukuba ubuyele kwincoko kuphela xa ubini upholile kwaye uya kuba nako ukuqhuba intetho-zinika iingxabano zakho uze uphulaphule umbono welo mthandayo.