Ngokuqhelekileyo umbuzo wokuxolela ukutshutshiswa komntu othandekayo ubhekane nale ntombazana engalindelanga ukuba iya kuhlangabezana neengxaki ezinzulu, into enzulu kakhulu nangaphezulu kunehlabathi. Siza kuqwalasela ukuba ufuna ukuxolela ukunyaniseka kunye nendlela yokwenza ngayo, ukuba unqumle ukubeka umnqamlezo kwiqabane.
Ngaba ndimele ndixolele ukutshatyalaliswa komyeni wam?
Ngenjongo, ukuze uxolele umyeni wakhe, ufuna esinye isizathu: unobungozi ngaphandle kwakhe kunokuba naye, nangona wenza ukuziphatha kakubi. Abaninzi abasetyhini basengozini yokuqhawula umtshato, baze baxoshe umthengi ngokupheleleyo endlwini. Kodwa, ngokukhawuleza ukuba umnyango uvale emva kwakhe, bayaqonda ukuba izigqibo zenziwe kwangaphambili.
Enyanisweni, kwiimeko ezichaphazelayo kunzima ukulawula izenzo zakho, kodwa emva koko, xa sele ucolile kwaye ucinga, kufuneka uqikelele yonke into uze wenze isigqibo. Ukuba ulwalamano ludla kunzima, awuyi kugcina iingxaki zepropati eziyinkimbinkimbi okanye abantwana, uya kuba ulungele ukuphula ubudlelwane. Kodwa ukuba unomzi oqhelekileyo, abantwana, iziboleko kunye neemvakalelo azizange ziphelelwe, kufuneka uhlale ucinga ngokunika umntu ithuba lesibini.
Kungenxa yeendidi ezininzi ezinokuthi ziqwalaselwe xa zenza isigqibo sokuba akukho mpendulo engaphenduliyo kumbuzo wokuba unako ukuxolela umngcatshi . Kuye kuwe ukuba wenze isigqibo kuwe. Ukuba uyazi ukuba kunzima kuwe, kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo uthethelela, mhlawumbi, ubomi obungakumbi buya kuba lula ngaphandle kwayo. Kodwa ukuba uyazi ukuba unamandla ngaphezu kwalokhu, kwaye ukulungele ukubonisa ukuphana nokuxolela, ngoko umnike umntu ithuba.
Indlela yokuxolela indoda emva kokunyelisa?
Njengomthetho, iimpawu zokungcatsha kweso sazikazi, kodwa ngenxa yothando kunye nokholo, abazenzeli ngqalelo. Xa utshata, wonke umntu uvakalelwa kukuba ubomi bakhe buya kuhlawula ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka.
Ukuze sixolele indoda, kufuneka kuqala kuqala ukuba siqaphele ukuba imeko yakho ayikho into engaphezulu. Ininzi yamadoda iyatshintsha, kwaye ayikho nentsapho evuyayo okanye ayikho. Emva komtshato, umntu akafi ngonaphakade ngomvakalelo onothando olukhulu, kodwa uyaqhubeka ephila, athathwe, kwaye oku kuya kwenzeka kumntu wonke. Njengomthetho, akukho mntu ujongene neengxaki ezinjalo kwiintsapho kunye nezihlobo, ngoko ke kunokubonakala ngathi kuwe kuphela umntu wakho umrhwebi ovela kuyo yonke indawo, kodwa oku kudla ngokuba yinto engamanga.
Ukufuduka kwimeko, ukupholisa phantsi, kukulungele ukusabalalisa ixesha elithile, tyelela izalamane zakho okanye uye eholide. Ngeli xesha, uya kuba ngcono ukuqonda ukuba olu lwalamano lusabalulekile kuwe, oko kuthetha ukuba unesizathu sokuzigcina.
Zama ukuqaphela imeko kungekhona njengokungcatshiswa, kodwa njengovavanyo ukusuka kwicala. Kwaye kufuneka uphumelele! Musa ukuphelelwa yithemba, ungayi kuhamba phambili kumava. Enyanisweni, akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngale nto.
Kwimibuzo yokuxolela ukutshatyalaliswa komntu othandekayo, kubalulekile ukugqiba ukuba yeyiphi indlela yokukhetha. Nokuba uzama ukulibala kwaye ungayikhumbuli, okanye ugalele intlungu yakho yokukhulula isikhashana. Mhlawumbi uya kuba luncedo ukuqhagamshelana nengcali yeengqondo, ubhalise kwindawo yokuzivocavoca kwaye uphonononge uxinzelelo oluqokelelwa ngazo zonke iindlela.
Kubalulekile ukuba ungayiqhathanisi kunye nenkosikazi yakho, ayikho bhetele okanye yimbi, kwaye ukubonakala kwayo akuxhomekeke kuwe. Kwenzeka nje. Yaye wena, ekuboniseni ukuqonda nangenceba, uya kuba ngumnqobi. Yaye khumbula: ukuxolela kukulibala. Kuphela xa ulibala, umanyano wakho uza kuphinda ufumane uvuyo .