Ukuthatha okanye ukungathathi mbuzo. Wonke umama wesibini, omntwana ocela ukuba asebenze, ubhekane naye imihla ngemihla. Kwaye kukuhle ukuba intombazana encinci, ngubani omele ugibele ezandleni zakhe, kuba engakwazi ukuhamba ngokuzimeleyo kwaye unina unomdinga. Omnye umbuzo, ukuba isicelo esifanayo sinomsindo wesigxina esineminyaka emine ubudala, ubunzima bawo abukwazi ukugcinwa ngumama ngamnye. Ngako-ke, ungayilula njani inyane lezandla zakho? Sizakuzama ukuphendula lo mbuzo namhlanje.
Umntwana ucela izandla zakhe - sisiphi isizathu?
Ukujonga ukusuka kwicala lokuba umntwana oneminyaka engama-3-4 ubuze ukuba abe seengalo zakhe, abadluliyo baya kuhlala becinga ukuba inkunzi ilahlekile. Ngaba oku kunjalo ngokwenene? Oogqirha bezilwanyana, oogqirha kunye nabanye ootitshala abanolwazi ngokuqinisekileyo kwizilonda kunye nobushushu, ngokwenene, abaqondi nto nantoni yengqondo yengqondo yabantwana. Abazi malunga nobukho bento enjengokuxhamla ngokomzwelo nomama, ukudibanisa nomzimba kunye nentuthuko ngokuvisisana nomama. Oko umntwana akufunayo ezandleni zakhe, kukho izizathu ezininzi. Kwaye kufuneka bahlelwe ngolu hlobo lulandelayo:
- Ngokukhawuleza xa umntwana esele azalwe, uninzi oomama bacinga ngokukhawuleza indlela yokukhulelwa umntwana osandula. Yaye inyaniso yokuba umntwana wabo, ngenxa yobudala bakhe, akakwazi ukuhamba ngokuzimeleyo aze aqaphele ihlabathi, ngesizathu esithile, bambalwa abantu abanomdla. Ukujonga kuphela kwiplanga kunye namacaleni, umntwana akahlakuleli ukuqonda kwakhe. Eyona mincili kakhulu ihleli kumama ekhangele iindonga, iikhabhinethi nezinye izinto. Ngako oko, naliphi na ixesha umntwana ecela iinyanga ezintandathu ezandleni zakhe, kulungile ukukhumbula ukuba kuye le ndlela yodwa yokuphuhlisa nokufunda ihlabathi.
- Elinye iphuzu elibalulekileyo, kulabo bahlushwa ngumbuzo wendlela yokuncothula umntwana osondeleyo, yintuthuzelo yomntwana ekuthintaneni nonina. Ngokwemvelo, xa umntwana esesimweni esihle, kufuneka udlale kunye naye, umfundise ukukhwela kunye nokuzibandakanya naye. Kodwa ukuba ucela izandla zakhe - ungamkeli. Khumbula ukuba imfuno yokuqhagamshelana nomzimba nomama ngunyana, okokuqala, isiqinisekiso sokukhuselwa kunye nokuzola, okubaluleke kakhulu njengesidingo sokutya.
- Ngaphambi kokuba unqabe umntwana ekhwele kwiibamba, qiniseka ukuba akukhathazi. Yaye ukuba uthetha ukushiya umntwana ekhala kwisibhedlele ade alele ebuthongweni obungapheliyo, ubuncinci khangela ukuba unesizathu esinzulu sokukhala.
- Ukufikelela kwiminyaka emine, abazali abaninzi bajamelana nengxaki xa umntwana ehlala elele ezandleni zakhe. Kulapha kwakhona malunga nentuthuzelo yengqondo kunye nengqiqo yokukhusela ngaphambi kokulala. Ukuze ukhumbule inkunzi kweso sifundo, zama ukucinga ngemigaqo apho umntwana uya kulala khona kwisibhedlele, kwaye unokumculela i-lullaby okanye ufike kuye ngemizuzu embalwa ukuzola kwaye ubonise ukuba ukhona, umthande kwaye akafuni ukumshiya.
Ukwazi izizathu zokubangela ukuba abantwana bacele iphakamileyo eliphezulu, baninzi baya kunika umxholo wokukhupha umntwana wabo ezandleni zabo. Kodwa kukufanelekile ukukhumbula ukuba abantwana bayakhula kwaye ngokukhawuleza izakhono zokugatya nokubhala ziya kufuneka.
Indlela yokuthambisa kwizandla zomntwana omdala kunonyaka kunye nesiqingatha?
Ngaphambi kokuba uthathe isigqibo sokufudukela kwintsebenzo yehlabathi, khumbula ukuba izizathu zokuthi kungani ungafuni ukuthwala umntwana ezandleni zakho kufuneka zichane ngokuthe ngqo. Oku akubandakanyi ukukhathala okanye "kuba kulungele ukwenza izinto zabo." Phambili uze wenze isigqibo malunga noko kubaluleke kakhulu kuwe. Xa ulungele, laphula ezi ngcebiso:
- Ukuba umntwana wakho usetyenziswa ukucela into nanye ezandleni zakhe, kufuneka uqale ukumfundisa indlela yokuzimela ngokuzimeleyo. Kule nto unako ukuzikhangela, ubeke endaweni yokubamba. Ukuqhekeka nje kuya kuba kwinqanaba elifanayo njengomntwana, kwaye ke uya kuba nako ukuziva ukushisa kwakho;
- Xa imeko "neziphathamandla" zenzeka kwisitalato, funda ukuphazamisa umntwana kunye nezinye izinto ezithakazelisayo. Ingaba yinto yokudlala entsha egcinwe kwangaphambili, umalume othakazelisayo odlulayo, njl. Ukusebenza okuphazamisayo akusebenzi ngokukhawuleza, kodwa ngokuthe gqolo uya kuqonda ukuba ukutshintsha uhlobo lomsebenzi kuyindlela efanelekileyo yokugcina amandla kunye neentliziyo zakho wena nomntwana wakho;
- ukuba ekhaya umntwana akazange ahambe ezandleni zakho, kwaye unokuzimela ngokuzinzileyo, uvelise umntwana kwihlabathi elikujikelezile. Iimidlalo zokudlala, izinto zasendlini, ukuphuhlisa umgangatho kunye nezinye iinkcukacha
ingaphakathi ayiyi kukukhulula kuphela kwindima "yamatokethi", kodwa ibe yithuba elihle kakhulu lokuhlakulela ukuzimela kwintsana; - Musa ukudibanisa noqhagamshelwano kunye nosapho kunye nabahlobo. Yiza nomntwana ukutyelela, mema abahlobo kuye. Ingakumbi umntwana ebona abantu beenxa zonke kuye, uya kucela ukuba uzikhusele.
Naluphi na indlela ukhetha ngayo, khumbula ukuba akufanele akonakalise ingqondo yomntwana. Ukuphazamisa umntwana ekukhweleni ngokusingatha ngokuthe ngcembe nangokucokisekileyo. Kwaye kubaluleke kakhulu - qwa lasele ingqalelo umntwana wakho kunye nengxaki yakhe. Ngamanye amaxesha esikhundleni sezandla, kukuphela kobukho bakho obaneleyo.