Xa ekugqibeleni sinobudlelwane obunzulu, silungele ukuhamba ngenxantathu, kusenjalo-yiloo nto - yodwa efunyenweyo. Kodwa ixesha lidlulayo, kwaye siyaqaphela ukuba ubudlelwane abufani nangoko ngaphambili, babenjani uhlobo lokuhlukanisa. Ndingayenza ntoni ukuba indoda yam ikhulile? Okokuqala ukuqonda ukuba kutheni ulwalamano lukhulile, kakuhle, kwaye ngokukhawuleza ukulungisa imeko.
Kutheni le ndoda yayibanda?
Indlela yokuqonda ukuba kutheni umntu ekhulile, yintoni isizathu? Apha, ngaphandle kokucinga okungenakukwenza, khumbula xa beqala ukuphawula utshintsho kwisimo sengqondo somthandayo kuye. Kwaye ngokusekelwe kulokhu, yenza iingcinga malunga nezizathu ezinokwenzeka zokuvela kubanda kubundlelwane.
- "Yintoni endiyenzayo, umyeni wam undikhulile?" - uziva. Ngaba oku kunjalo ngokwenene? Mhlawumbi imbangela yokupholisa ukutshatyalaliswa yindoda yokukhathala, iingxaki emsebenzini, enoba umyeni wakho akafuni ukwabelana nawe ngenxa nje yokuba ukhusela intsapho kwiingxaki ezingadingekile?
- Ukuba indoda ethandekayo ikhulile, into yokuqala efika engqondweni kukuba unomnye. Yenza le ndlela yodwa ayiyimfuneko, mhlawumbi umntu ohlangothini kwaye ubonakala, kodwa ngoku ucinga nje ngokucacileyo. Ingaba isizathu sinokuba kuwe? Khumbula oko wawukho ekuqaleni kobudlelwane kunye nantoni na ngoku. Kukho utshintsho, kwaye azinalo ukulungeleka, akunjalo? Awuqapheli ngokubonakala, kwaye unomdla wokuba ungumsebenzi, kungeyona indlela yokubonisa iimvakalelo zakho, kwaye ngokubaluleke kakhulu, ubudlelwane baqala ukufumana umlinganisi wokuqhaqhawula: "Ndakuxabisa, kwaye undinike into ethile."
- Ngokuqhelekileyo, abafazi bayaqaphela ukuba yonke into ishintshile emva kokubeleka. Umyeni usele wayelumkele umfazi wakhe, ngamanye amazwi, uye wabanda. Musa ukucinga nje ukuba wayeke ukuthanda. Ukubonakala nje komntwana kukuvivinywa kungekhona kuwe kuphela, kodwa kumntu, naye kufuneka afunde ukuhlala ngendlela entsha. Kwaye umntwana omncinci uthatha isabelo seengonyama namandla kunye nexesha, abazali abancinci abavami ukufumana amandla athi "ubusuku obuhle" komnye nomnye.
Kuthekani ukuba indoda ethandekayo ishushu?
Ewe, yeso sizathu sokuba iimvakalelo zipholile, zicetywayo, ihlala isenza isigqibo sokuba wenze ntoni na konke oku. Ukuba umyeni ukhathala emsebenzini, uye waqhawula ngenxa yobonakala bakho okanye ngenxa yokuzaliswa kwintsapho, nakweyiphi na imeko kufuneka uxoxe naye. Intsapho eyonwabileyo yiphumo lomsebenzi womntu womtshato, ngoko ke uncedo lomyeni aluyi kuba lukhulu. Zama nje ukususa amanqaku angcolileyo kwizwi lakho, khuluma nomyeni wakho ngoxolo, umbuze into emkhathazayo. Ukuba umntu ushiya incoko, ungagxininisi, ixesha elithile, ubeke umva incoko kwaye uzame ukuyifaka iintsuku ezimbalwa emva koko. Emva kokuba uthethe naye, uya kuqonda ukuba bekunjalo kwiingcamango zabo okanye bavele bazibandakanya zonke iindidi zamangqungquthela, ngenxa yokuba bona abazange balale ebusuku.
- Umsebenzi wenza ixabiso elikhulu, intloko ikhethile, nantsi indoda kunye nekhaya kunye nelaskov. Yintoni endiyenzayo? Ncedise ukuba adlule kule ndawo enzima, umonde omncinci, kwaye yonke into iya kuhamba kakuhle. Ncipha phantsi iimfuno zakho zomyeni, ngoku ufuna inkxaso yakho ngaphezu kwamazwi okulungisa kunye nokugxeka okuqhubekayo.
- Ngaba uyayazi intlanzi "ngaba ndiza kutshata nje ngokukhawuleza, mhlawumbi ndidiniwe ukuzikhathalela"? Qaphela ukuba kuhlobene nani? Kunoko uzilungise ngokwakho, emva koko emva kwexesha uguquke ngumfazi oqhaqhazelayo egqoke ingubo egqobileyo kunye neentsimbi ezingapheliyo entloko. Myeke ukwenza ama-scandals nanini nayiphi na imeko, kholwani kum, kwi-caress yendoda yenza ngcono.
Ngamanye amaxesha amagama amanyathelo athathaka angakwazi ukufezekisa oko kungenakukufezekiswa ngoncedo lokuhlambalazwa kunye nosongelo. - Kwintsapho yakho kwakukho umntwana, kwaye indoda ayiyonto? Lindani, yonke into iza kusebenza, kwaye ngaphandle, mhlawumbi oku kuyingxenye yecala lakho? Ingqungquthela yokudakumba kokugqithisa emva kokuphela kokusasazeka ngokuqhelekileyo kwaye, ngokuqinisekileyo, abathandekayo bakho banokukunceda ngale nto, kodwa ukuba awufuni ukuphuma kweli lizwe, ngubani na onokugxeka ukutshintsha indlela ozijonga ngayo? Kwaye ungeke ukhathele, ufike ukhathele emsebenzini, ungabambisani nomntwana kuphela, kodwa kunye neengxabano zesigamu sesibini, ngokunjalo nangenxa yoko, endaweni yokubulela ufumana ukuhlaziswa okungapheliyo?