Kutheni abantwana beba? Lo mbuzo uthathelwa ingqalelo nje kuphela ngabazali, kodwa kunye neengcali ezininzi kwiingqondo kunye nokufundisa. Njengomthetho, ezi ziqendu ziqala ukuvela xa iingcamango "ezilungileyo" kunye "ezimbi" zingenakulinganiswa ngokwaneleyo kwingqondo yomntwana. Ndiyithandile into yokudlala - ndiyithatha ngaphandle kwemfuno, ndikhwele ukuba omnye umntwana unento enomdla kakhulu - le nto inokubiwe. Ngelo xesha, umntwana, njengomthetho, akacingi ngokugwetywa kwesenzo sakhe, kwaye kwanokuba akayikucingela. Kwaye kulungile ukuba loo mizuzu ikwazi ukuphawula ngokukhawuleza kwaye ichaze inkwenkwe ukuba akunakwenzeka ukwenza njalo. Kodwa kuthekani xa umntwana eba imali? Oku akuyona nje inkathazo enkulu, kodwa yinkxwaleko yangempela kwintsapho. Masiqonde izizathu zalo mzekelo kwaye uzame ukufumana indlela yokuphuma kule meko.
Kutheni umntwana eyeba imali?
Okokuqala, isizathu sokuba umntwana eyeba imali kubazali bakhe, kufuneka afunwe kwintsapho ngokwayo. Iingcali zengqondo ziphinda ziphindaphindiwe-imo inefuthe elichanekileyo ekuphatheni nasekuphuculweni komntwana. Ubusela njengendlela yokusabela ekukhuliseni okungafanelekanga kunokuvela ngezizathu ezilandelayo:
- ukungqinelani kwezenzo zabazali, xa uyise, umzekelo, enqabela into ethile, kwaye umama uyavuma;
- ukungabi nalutho ngokulandelelana kwemfundo. Ngokomzekelo, xa abazali abahle bajonga ukuziphatha kakubi, kwaye emva koko ukuziphatha okufanayo kuyahlwaywa;
- ukukhupha umntwana kunye nokuvumela imvume. Oku kwenzekayo xa umntwana engowona kuphela kwintsapho kwaye wenza isithandwa kuye. Ingakwazi ukukhula ngengcamango yokuba ihlukile kwimihlobo yayo, eyona nto ibhetele kwaye yodwa. Kule meko, ngokunyanisekileyo akayiqondi isizathu sokuba engakwazi ukuthatha into ethile kuye;
- lawula izenzo zomntwana nobomi bakhe. Abanye abazali abawunikeli nantoni inkululeko, kwaye umntwana ekuphenduleni uqala ukumelana nokuzenzela izenzo ezigwetywe ngabantu abadala.
I-Kleptomania kubantwana ingabangela ezinye izizathu:
- Umnqweno onamandla wokuba neliphi na into apho umntwana angakwazi ukujamelana nayo. Cinga ukuba uye wahlala ephupha ngale nto ethile, kwaye into enje "njengomnye umntu" ayengaziwa. Ufihla into enqwenelekayo aze ayise ekhaya. Isela akufanele libizwe. Kungcono ukumchazela intsingiselo yeengcamango ezifana "ezingezizo" kwaye "ungathinti".
- Ukuba ngaba abazali bengawuthandi umsebenzi "oqamba amanga" kwaye oko kwenzeka phambi komntwana, ungamangaliswa ukuba umntwana naye waqala ukuba yonke into ekhoyo. Abantwana bakopisha abazali babo, kwaye oku kulungile ukukhumbula.
- Umntwana unokuba into ukuze enze isipho kubazali. Isizathu apha apha silele ekungaqondeni ukuba ubusela bubi.
- I-kleptomania yabantwana idla ngokuba ngumphumo wokukhangela umdla. Akunjalo kuphela ngabazali, kodwa nabaontanga. Ukuba nayiphi na into iyaxabiswa kakhulu kwimeko yomsana, ngoko uya kwenza konke ukukwenza, ngaphandle kokucinga ngemiphumo
- Ubusela bemali bunokubangelwa ukungabikho kwemali yeendleko zesikhwama. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba abanye abazali banike abantwana babo ixabiso elincinci, ngelixa abanye benqaba imali, banokuqala ukuba imali ukuze bahlangabezane neemfuno zabo.
Kuthekani ukuba umntwana eyeba?
Kungakhathaliseki isizathu sokuba i-kleptomania, nayiphi na umzali ucinga malunga nokuba yintoni enokuyenza xa unyana okanye intombi eba imali. Kule meko, ininzi kuxhomekeke ekuphatheni kwabazali. Ukuba neengqiqo ngakumbi isimo sengxaki ebangela inkathazo, ngokukhawuleza iza kuxazululwa. Ngoko ke, ezinye iingcebiso zokusondeza umntwana ukuba imali:
- Ukunyanyiswa kuyo nayiphi na imbonakalo yayo akuvumelekanga! Ukuba umntwana wenqaba ukuvuma ityala lakhe, akudingeki uxhomekeke kuye. Ukuphucula ngakumbi, ngokuyimfihlo nangaphandle kokusongela ukufumanisa ukuba uthathe into engenaye
- Musa ukwenza umntwana azive enetyala. Musa ukuthelekisa nabanye abantwana kwaye uthi bonke bayintombi enhle, kwaye yena wedwa uhlazisa abazali bakhe, njl.
- Musa ukuxoxa ngeemeko nabangaphandle kunye nomntwana.
- Emva kokuba kuxoxwa ngayo kunye nosapho, kukulungele ukulibala ityala lomntwana kwaye ungabuyi kulo. Ngaphandle koko, eli liza liza kugqitywa kwimemori yomntwana
- Ukuba umntwana wakho ubonwa ngesenzo esinye esibi, akudingeki ukuba ukhumbule ityala lokuba, elingenanto yintoni na eyenzekayo okwangoku.
- Ukuba intsapho yakho ibone ityala lezinto ezilahlekayo, ungasondeli ngokukhawuleza, memezela kwihlabathi lonke ukuba umntwana uba imali kwaye abuze ukuba benzani nabanye. Khumbula ukuba wena ngokwakho unokususa loo ndlela. Ngaphambi kokuba uyeke ukusela, qiniseka ukuba unamaqiniso kunye nobungqina. Nangona ujezisa umntwana ngenxa yokungaziphathi kakuhle, qi niseka ukumxelela ukuba uyamthanda, kodwa ukuziphatha kwakhe kukuphazamise. Mema umntwana wakho ukuba afune indlela yokuphuma kwimeko kunye.
Kuthekani ukuba umntwana useba imali?
Ngokuqhelekileyo abazali abazi into enokuyenza xa intombazana eyeba. Emva kwakho konke, abantwana abakweli xesha baya kuhoxiswa kwaye abafuni ukuvumela abathandekayo babo kwimpilo yabo. Kule meko, kuyimfuneko ukuqonda kwimeko apho umntwana. Unokungena kwinkampani embi okanye abe ngumlutha kumntu oontanga. Buza ukukuxelela malunga nento eyenzekayo. Makuvumeleke ukuba oku kufuneke ukuba uzame ixesha elide ukufikelela entliziyweni yomntwana omdala. Into ephambili ayayiqonda - abazali banokuthenjwa kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo bayamsola.
Ithemba liyisiseko esibaluleke kakhulu apho kuboniswa khona umntu ohambelanayo. Musa ukuyicombulula imibuzo enjalo ngeemfesane kunye neentlanzi. Funda ukuthetha nomntwana wakho, umfundise indlela yokuphatha imali kunye nokumxhasa xa efuna. Kwaye ke iingxaki ezininzi zinokuphetshwa nangona ekuqaleni kokuqala kwazo.