Kwimeko yoluntu kwakukho ukuqonda ngokubanzi ngobuxoki njengento engalunganga. Ukhohlisayo ngumnqweno womntu owaziyo ukudukisa umnxibelelwano. Kodwa ngaba oku kuwonakalisa njalo? Ingqondo yengqondo iya kunceda ukuqonda ukuba kutheni abantu baxoke, baqonde njani umkhohlisi.
Iingcamango zobuxoki kwiengqondo
Ingqondo yengqungquthela inzululwazi ephonononga imbangela yokukhohlisa kunye neendlela zokuqaphela kwayo. Ukukhohlisa kukubonelela ngolwazi oluchanekileyo njengenyaniso. Ukhohliso luhlala lujoliswe kwi-addressee, ngoko ke iingqondo zengqondo azicingi loo nto ngaphandle kweenkqubo zokuthetha. Ukuhlanjululwa kusebenza njengendlela yokunxibelelana, ngokujoliswe ngamabomu ukudala imibono ephosakeleyo malunga nenyaniso kwi-addressee.
Ubuxoki bungasetyenziselwa iinjongo ezilungileyo, ukukhusela ngokuqinisekileyo umntu ekuhlambalaleni, okungafunyanwa yinyaniso. Ngoko ke, kwezinye iimeko zengxaki, inkohliso ibonwa njengento eyimfuneko kunye nefanelekileyo yokuchaphazela abantu. Ngamanye amazwi, inkohliso ithathwa njengesicatshulwa seengqondo, sifumaneka kuwo wonke umntu, kodwa kungekhona wonke umntu owaziyo ukuyisebenzisa ngokuchanekileyo.
Iintlobo zobuxoki kwizengqondo
Ukunyundela kwizinto eziphathekayo ngokuqhelekileyo kufana nokufana nenyaniso yokuba ayinakuhlukaniswa nayo. Kodwa kungakhathaliseki ukuba ziphi na iintlobo ezahlukeneyo, ubuxoki buyimpazamo ye nyaniso. Kukho iindidi ezilandelayo:
- Iingcamango, okanye imfesane yomntu ekuchazeni izidalwa ezifihlakeleyo zamabali amahle, amabali.
- Zonke iintlobo zokuphangwa, ukuchithwa kwamaphepha abalulekileyo, amaphepha.
- Ukulinganisa iimvakalelo namava.
- Ukusebenza, okanye umdlalo wabantwana, apho umntu engabonakali khona iimpawu zakhe zangempela kwabanye, kodwa udlala indima.
- Ukudukisa.
- Ukukhwabanisa kwamaqiniso ukufumana inzuzo yabo.
- Ubuxoki obungenakucinga, xa umntu ethatha inyaniso engapheliyo kunye nengcaciso engavumelekanga.
- Ukwahlukana kolwazi.
- Ukufihla inyaniso.
- Iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zeentlebo.
- Ulwazi olungenangqondo, olunikezelwa kumnxibelelanisi ukuze aludibanise.
- Amanga okukhusela.
- Ukuzikhohlisa, xa umntu evuselela ngolwazi olungamanga.
- Ubuxoki bendoda xa umntu esetyenziselwa ukuhlala ekhohlisa.
- Unkohliso lobuzenzisi.
Ingqondo yeengxaki - kutheni abantu bethetha?
Inkohliso ihlala idalwe ngamabomu, kwaye nangona umqambimanga angenza njengomntu olungileyo okanye omubi, uhlala ekhetha ukuba uya kuthetha inyaniso okanye amanga. Loo mntu uhlukanisa ngokulula phakathi kokukhohlisa nenyaniso. Ngokutsho kukaFry Aldert, umphandi owaziwayo enkqubeni yeengqondo zentlalo , kukho izizathu ezihlanu zokuba kutheni abantu bathi:
- ukuphendula okukhuselayo kwiimeko ezihlazo kunye neentloni;
- inzuzo;
- khusela e sihlwayo;
- umnqweno wokunceda omnye umntu;
- umnqweno wokugcina ubudlelwane.
I-Psychology yamanga nokukhohlisa kukaPaul Ekman inikeza inkcazo ecacileyo yesizathu sokuba kutheni abantu. Ukunyundela kusetshenziselwa ubudlelwane bezopolitiko. Ingxelo yeqiniso yembono yabantu malunga neenkokheli zehlabathi inokuchaphazela kakubi umntu kwixesha elizayo. Iintloko zeburhulumenteni ezingenakukwazi ukulawula ngokwaneleyo, ukuba azizange zisebenzise inkohliso. Ngokutsho kwenzululwazi yezopolitiko yaseMerika, uJohn Morsheimer, inyaniso ayimfuneko ukuze iphile.
Amanga ekusindisweni - kwengqondo
Inkohliso yokusindiswa kuyisizathu esihle kakhulu sokuba ngumqambimanga, nangona kwintlalo yoluntu injalo ityala ligwetywa. Imvelaphi yenkohliso ivela kwixesha lokudalwa kwehlabathi. NgokukaSt. John weLing Ladder, inkohliso yintsikelelo yomphefumlo, kodwa ukuba umntu uhlambulukile kwizinto zobuxoki, kuphela xa enesidingo esikhulu kunye nemeko engathandekiyo avunyelwe ukusebenzisa amanga, kodwa ngaphandle koyika.
Kwezinye iimeko, ukukhohlisa kulungile, kunceda ukuphepha iingxaki ezinzulu, kwaye kunceda ukudala iimeko eziyimfuneko zokugcina inyaniso. Ukukhohlisa kuyamkeleka kuphela ukuba umqambimanga ufuna ukufezekisa "usindiso" kwaye utshintshe imeko embi ukuba ibe ngcono. Kodwa njani ukuqonda ukuba umntu ulala? Kwimeko nayiphi na into, umgaqo "umfihlelo uyacaca".
Ingqondo yengqondo kunye nokukhohlisa yindlela yokutyhila umqambimanga?
Wonke umntu ungumqambimanga ngokuzalwa. Omnye umntu ngokukhawuleza ufumana inkohliso, kwaye umntu uyakwazi ukukhupha i-polygraph efanelekileyo. Ukususela kwiminyaka emine, umntwana ukhohlisa abazali bakhe. Njengoko i-psychology yokubhenca ubuxoki ibonisa, abameli bendoda babesoloko bebalala, kodwa abaninzi abafazi bahlaselwa.
Impawu yokuxoka - inzululwazi
Kukho iindlela kunye nezindlela ezahlukeneyo ezinokukunceda ufunde indlela yokuqaphela ubuxoki ngempawu:
- Ukuthinta i-earlobes, ukuxubha nokutshiza.
- Ukutsalwa kwempumlo. Kule meko, kufuneka uqaphele kakhulu, ngenxa yokuba impumlo iyakwazi ukutshintsha kwaye njengaye.
- Ukudlala ngeenwele.
- Ukumboza umlomo ngesandla sakho.
- Ukubethela izipikili okanye umlomo.
- Ukuthuthumela emadolweni.
- Ukutshintshwa kwexesha elide.
- Ukunyaniseka kwentloko phambili, okanye ngasemva.
- Ukukhwehlela okungafunekiyo kwaye rhoqo.
- Ukuwela imilenze nezandla.
- Ukuhlala unxilongo ngexesha lokutshaya.
- Ukukhupha ikhola yengubo.
I-Microemotion - i-psychology yamanga
I-Microexpress ibonakaliso lobuso obungabonakaliyo abantu abangaboniyo kwaye bathathe ngokukhawuleza xa bezama ukufihla imizwa kunye nokuxoka. Ukuze ufunde indlela yokuqaphela ubuxoki ngokubonakalisa ubuso, kubalulekile ukujonga indlela yokuthetha yomntu:
- Amehlo. Ukunyundela kubangela ukungathandeki nokungaqiniseki, ngoko xa uthetha, abantu bahlala bejikeleza. Kodwa kukho iimeko xa umntu engaboni ngamabomu ngombono emehlweni omntu, ezama ukulungelelanisa ubuxoki bakhe, ukwenzela ukuba ayifake i-addressee njengenyaniso.
- Smile. Le ntsingiselo yomlomo ngexesha lokukhohliswa libukeka lingekho ngokwemvelo, libi, kunye nezihlunu zamehlo azibandakanyi.
- Ulwaphulo lobuso.
- Ubomvu.
- Uhlala ukhawuleza.
- Ingxoxo ngamazinyo.
I-psychology yomqambimanga ibonisa ukuba unokufunda ukukhohlisa komntu ngobude, njenge-asymmetry kunye nenkulumo engafanelekanga, ukuba ingapheli imizuzwana engamahlanu. Xa uthetha, isantya sokuthetha, ithoni yelizwi litshintsha, lingaba phezulu okanye lusezantsi. Lo mntu ubonisa ngokucacileyo utshintsho lweemvakalelo, okanye ziqhwa. Kodwa kukho iimeko xa inkohliso ingabonakaliswa ngaphandle kokuba uyazi ukuba umqambimanga uvakalelwa ngokwenene.
Indlela yokuxoka ngokuchanekileyo - ingqondo yengqondo
Kukho imeko xa ubuxoki buya kukhonza njengesixhobo esisodwa esinokukunceda ukuphepha iingxaki zengxabano . Ngoko ke, kubalulekile ukuba ufunde njani ukulala ngaphandle kokwesaba ukuvezwa:
- Kubalulekile ukukholelwa ukuba ukukhohlisa kwakho kuyinyaniso.
- Lawula iimvakalelo zakho kwaye ungakhathazeki.
- Thetha ngabantu abanyani.
- Musa ukuvuma ukukhohlisa.
- Yikhumbule ibali lakho eliqingqiweyo.
- Cinga ngazo zonke iinkcukacha.
- Sebenzisa inkohliso njengokuba kunokwenzeka kangangoko ebomini bakho, kuphela xa kukho isidingo esiphuthumayo.
Indlela yokufunda ukuthetha amanga kwaye ungabonakali?
Ukuba awukwazi ukuba ungafunda njani ukuxoka ngokukhohlisa, zama ukujonga ngokwakho ukusuka kwicala. Yima phambi kwesibuko, jonga ubuso bakho ubuso, yonke into ifanele ibukeke ikholelwa. Ukuba umnxibelelwano olalayo awaziyo ukuziphatha kwakho ngokuqhelekileyo kwisenzo kunye nesimo sobuso, kuya kuba nzima kakhulu ukuba aqaphele inyaniso entetho yakho. Impumelelo iyona inketho ngefowuni, xa umntu engakwazi ukufumana iimpawu zangaphandle ukuba anqume ukuba unyanisekileyo okanye cha.
Indlela efanelekileyo - ukuthetha ubuxoki - ukuhlala uthule malunga neemeko zangempela. I-psychology yenkohliso ibonakalise ukuba kukulungele ukulala kubantu, kwintliziyo ye-choleric, kodwa ubuxoki babo bungenza umonakalo omkhulu kunokukhohlisa ngamabomu abantu abanegazi. I-Phlegmatic kunye ne-melancholic ayinakunyulwa ekukhohliseni, iziganeko zabo zengqondo zingabathengela ngamanga.