Kwiibini ezininzi, ukutshatyalaliswa kuba yimbangela yekhefu, ngamanye amaxesha umyeni uthi uzimisele ukushiya intsapho, ngamanye amaxesha umfazi ufuna umtshato. Nento enokuyenza xa indoda iyatshintsha, kodwa ingasuki? Ukunyamezela le meko okanye ufumane indlela yokufumana umyeni wakhe ukuba ashiye?
Indoda iyatshintsha, kodwa ingashiyi, yintoni oyenzayo?
Ngelishwa, amaninzi amabhinqa ayazi imeko xa indoda iguquka, kodwa ukushiya isidleke sekhaya akusisombululo. Abanye abafazi bayazi apho amadoda abo bahlala behamba khona baxhamla kunye nalokhu, kuba abafuni i-scandals okanye kulindeleke ukuba bazise loo mntu ukuba bayamthanda ngokwenene. Akufuneki ukuthetha ukuba isimo sengqondo esinjalo siza kubakho into enhle? Indoda yolu hlobo ayiyi kuqonda kwaye iza kuqhubeka nokuya kwinkosikazi yakhe. Kule meko, akafuneki ukuba atshintshe nantoni na, uyaneliswa yiyo yonke into - uya kulala kunye nokuphumla kwindlovukazi yakhe, kwaye umfazi wakhe uya kunika ukutya okufanelekileyo kunye neengubo ezicocekileyo. Ngako oko, akukho mfuneko yokuzibandakanya iiminqweno zakhe, indlela echanekileyo yokuphuma iya kuba ifayile yokuqhawula umtshato. Nangona umyeni uthi uya kuziyeka, ungalindeli ade avuthe, aphakamise ingxoxo malunga nomtshato. Yaye ungonwabi ukuba indoda yashiya, kodwa ingekaqhatanga. Inkqubo inokuyidonsa ixesha elide, kodwa ngelixa indoda iyaqonda ukuba inendawo yokubuyela kuyo. Yaye uya kukwenza xa exabana nenkosikazi yakhe. Ufuna indoda eyabangela ukuba uhlupheke kakhulu, wachaza endlwini njengomnini, wathi ngumyeni osemthethweni, kwaye ngoko ke unamalungelo? Ukuba akunjalo, musa ukukrazula kunye nomtshato, qondisa ukuba olu lamano lukuvimbela ukuba ungonwabi, indoda yakho ayiyindoda yokugqibela eyashiya emhlabeni, oko kuthetha ukuba ngokuqinisekileyo uya kufumana umntu oza kukuxabisa.
Indlela yokwenza indoda yakhe ihambe?
Ugqibe ekubeni awufuni ukuhlala nomrhwebi, ngoko kufuneka umyeni wakho ahambe. Kodwa ungayenza njani ukuba ihambe?
- Yintoni ocinga ukuba yenziwe ukuze indoda ishiye? Indlela ecacileyo kukuba uxoxe ngencoko kunye neqabane lakho. Kufuneka umchazele ukuba kutheni ufuna ukuqhawula umtshato, ukuba awuboni ingcamango yokucinga ngentsapho. Hlala kude nezinyembezi, ukuhlambalaza, iinkumbulo zabo zonke izikhalazo - oku kunokuba yisizathu sokugwenxa, okanye ukuvusa ukuzisola ngokunyanisekileyo kumyeni wakhe. Akukho namnye ongayifuniyo. Umyeni unako kwaye uyazi ukuba unetyala phambi kwakho, kodwa akayi kutshintsha, intlanganiso kunye nenkosikazi yakhe iya kuqhubeka. Kwaye amadoda amaninzi ayithathi iinyembezi zamabhinqa kwaye akhala ngokukhawuleza, ecinga ukuba bonke abafazi besifazane abaxhamlayo baya kumemeza baze bathule.
- Ukuba le ndlela ayincedi, kwaye indoda ayifuni ukushiya yedwa, uyimenza njani ukuba ahambe? Unokuzama ukusinda kwihostela, kodwa iikhrayoni ezinjengemikhono ecocekileyo kunye ne-borscht enetyuwa ayiyi kwenza. Kubalulekile ukuba uphile njengoko ungasayi kubomi bakho. Mphathwe njengomntu ohlala kuyo-xhaphazela wena kuphela. Ukutya kuphela wena nabantwana, hlamba izinto zakho kuphela, uhlambulule kuphela kwigumbi lakho, apho uza kulala yodwa. Bizela abahlobo kunye nabahlobo, musa ukuthobela uluvo lwakhe. Masiqonde ukuba kanye
uhlala ubomi bakhe, ngoko uya kwenza okufanayo. Kwaye kule meko, kwakhona, kufuneka ugcine kwiindawo ezihlaselekileyo, indoda kufuneka ibone ukuba oku akusiyo into yakho embi, kodwa isigqibo esinentsingiselo. - Enye indlela yokulahla umyeni wakhe ukuqokelela zonke izinto zakhe aze azibeke kwizitebhisi, kwaye utshintshe ikhekhi xa esebenza okanye ethandekayo. Kodwa le miqathango, eqinisweni, inkulu, kwaye asinakuyenza ngaphandle kweenhlamba. Kwaye ukuba indoda leyo ingumninimzi (umninimzi-mnikazi) wezindlu, ngoko ke izenzo ezinjalo azikho mthethweni, ngoko ke umyalelo wokuqhawula umtshato unokuba nzima. Ngoko ke, kukufanelekile ukuzama ukulungisa ingxaki ngokuthula, nokuphosa izinto kwi-balconi kuphela emva kwesigqibo senkundla.