Ngokwemvelo yayo, akukho zintsapho ezihlala zigqibeleleyo. Ngokukhawuleza okanye kamva, abafazi bajamelana neengxaki ebusini babo, obudla ngokumalunga nokufumaneka kobudlelwano obusondeleyo. Ngeli xesha, ngokwemibare, inani elikhulu lomtshato liyavela.
Njengoko uyazi, ubudlelwane obusondeleyo kumtshato bunempembelelo ebonakalayo kummandla wonke wobudlelwane phakathi kwabatshatileyo. Kule minyaka, ukufunana komnye nomnye ukupholisa, ukunyamekela okwakunjalo kwiminyaka yokuqala yobomi obatshatileyo. Masizame ukuhlaziya isizathu sokuba kungenakwenzeka ukugcina umlilo wothando, ukuhlala iminyaka emininzi emtshatweni. Cinga ngengqondo yezobudlelwane obusondeleyo kunye neempembelelo zabo kwintsebenziswano yesibini esitshatileyo.
Ingqondo yezobudlelwane obusondeleyo
Ubusondelelo kunye nomlingane unomvakalelo wokulungelelanisa, oku kuthetha ukuba uxhalabele wena kunye nolonwabo lomthandi wakho, unqwenela ukwanelisa kokubili kunye neemfuno zakho.
Ubuhlobo bokwenene obusondeleyo buba negalelo elihle kwihlabathi lokomoya lomntu, kumnceda angabi nolu lonwabo, ekhulile.
I-psychology yobudlelwane obunjalo kubonisa ukuvuleka kweemvakalelo kubalingani babo. Oko kukuthi, umxelele iimvakalelo zakho neemvakalelo zakho, ngaphandle kokwesaba ukugwetywa ngenxa yalo. Xa ukuvuleka kwemvakalelo kubudlelwane, ukuthembela kwabantu abathandanayo ngokubhekiselelana. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha, njengokungathi omnye wabalingani abafuni, kunzima ukuba avule, ukubika ukuba akayithandi into afuna ukuyitshintsha. Isizathu salokhu yimiqobo eyavela ebuntwaneni.
Ukuba elinye iqabane liloyiko lolwalamano lwamazwi, ngoko ke akunakuqonda ukuzinyanzela. Kufanelekile ukulwa kunye neentswelo zabantwana, ukuhlaziya iingcamango zabo, ukwesaba.
Ulwalamano olusondeleyo lomntu kunye nomfazi luyisiseko esiqinileyo somtshato ngokwawo, kodwa ukuba omnye womtshato awanelisekile ngesondo kwaye ngesizathu esithile asifihla kwiqabane lakhe, ngokukhawuleza isiseko siya kuphazamiseka. Amagqabini aseMerika athi i-90% yazo yonke imitshato iyahlukana ngokuthe ngqo ngenxa yokungahambi ngokuvisisana ngokwesondo. Akunakutsholwa ukuba isondo siyinto esemqoka emtshatweni, kodwa ngaphandle kohlobo lobudlelwane bobudlelwane, njengokungathi ngethungelwano, akuyi kubakho ukuvumelanisa kunye nezinye iintlobo zobuhlobo phakathi komyeni nomfazi.
Amadoda nabasetyhini, njengokungathi zivela kwiiplanethi ezahlukeneyo, zineenkalo ezahlukeneyo zehlabathi, ukuqonda izinto ezifanayo, kodwa abakwaziyo ngaphandle komnye. Ngokumalunga nendlela yokuqonda ingqondo yeqabane lakho kwaye uqonde ulwalamano lwakhe nobuhlobo obusondeleyo, uchaza isazi sengqondo seMerika uJohn Grey kwelinye leencwadi zakhe.
Uxela ukuba ubudlelwane obusondeleyo buyakwazi ukuvula intliziyo yakho ngokupheleleyo kumfazi, kukunceda uqonde iimvakalelo zakho zokwenene kwaye wabelane ngazo nomfazi wakho, kwaye ubulili bakhe obuhle bukuvumela ukuba uphumule kwaye uzive uxhaswa ngumntu wakho othandekayo kwiindawo ezahlukeneyo zobomi kunye.
Ukususela kwiminyaka, ubudlelwane obusondeleyo buya kuba yinto efana nokuzalisekisa umsebenzi wokudibanisa, kodwa ungonwabi kwaye ujabule omnye nomnye, ngoko siza kuqwalasela iindlela zokuhlukana kwezesondo.
- Ukuqwalasela imibala ephezulu kwigumbi lokulala. Ubomvu buvuselela umntu. Thenga, umzekelo, ukukhanya okubomvu ebusuku, emzimbeni wakhe umzimba ukhangeleka kakhulu kwaye uyimfihlakalo.
- Iilwimi zengqondo zinceda ukudala intliziyo. Ukuba awubonakali ngokupheleleyo, oku kuyimpembelelo entle kumntu.
- Musa ukulibala ukuba i-foreplay enye yeyona ndawo
ubuhlobo obusondeleyo. Mnike ixesha elingakumbi. - Iimfihlelo zobudlelwane obusondeleyo bufihlakeleyo, njengoko iimfundiso zaseMpuma zibonisa, ekulungiseleleni ngokufanelekileyo inkqubo. Ukwandisa ukonwaba, ungasebenzisa ukuxubha amafutha enhuni eluswini.
- Funda uvakalelo lwakho. Ukuphakamisa, kunokuthabheka ngokutsha kwiimeko ezidala ezilibalekile.
Kubalulekile ukuphawula ukuba uphuhliso lobuhlobo obusondeleyo kumtshato luxhomekeke kumntu ngamnye womtshato. Ukuhambelana kobudlelwane babo kuya kuhlala kutyumleza, ukuba ukuvuleka kunye nokuthembela komnye nomnye kulawulo.