Ubuhlobo kwintsapho ngumxholo ongunaphakade. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba zingaphi iifilimu ezithatyathwayo, iincwadi kunye namanqaku abhaliweyo, kwanyatheliswa iincwadi zezifundo, kwakungekho nentsapho ekwazi ukuphepha iingxaki. Kule nqaku siza kujonga ngesihloko sokukhulisa abantwana, nokuba kunjalo, sithetha ngendlela ukukhala kwabazali kuthintela ngayo abantwana, nokuba unako ukumemeza kumntwana, indlela yokufunda ukuzilawula, nokuba yenzeni ukuba umyeni uyakhalaza kumntwana. Kwaye uzama ukufumana iindlela ezifanelekileyo zokuyeka ukukhalaza kumntwana, kodwa ungayiguquli ubuhlobo bentsapho ibe yinkolo yomntwana, kwaye umntwana wakho abe ngumntu ozingca.
Isizathu esivamekileyo sokukhala kwabazali siyaziwayo: "Yena (yena) akayiqondi ngenye indlela!". Kodwa nantoni na ukuba abazali bayayilungisa, ekunyameni komphefumlo kunesidumbu sokungathandabuzeki kwi-solvency njengomzali kunye notitshala, kwaye ukuziva unecala lokumangalelwa kwenza ukuba wenze ukuvuma, uvumele ubuthathaka obungenacala kunye nezicelo zentsana, uthembisa ukuba awuyi kuphinda Musa ukuyixela ... Kodwa emva kwexesha yonke into iphinda iphinda iphinde iphinde iphinde iphindwe. Ubudlelwane obusondelene phakathi kwentsapho bunyukisiwe, sisona isizathu sokuxabana. Kuya kubonakala, isangqa esichukumisayo. Ngaba ikhona na indlela yokuphuma kuyo?
Kutheni ungeke ukwazi ukumemeza kumntwana?
- abantwana, ingakumbi kwiminyaka yokuqala yobomi, banemvakalelo engenakulinganiswa nabazali babo. Ukunganeliseki, ukucaphukisa kunye nokukrakra kakhulu yindlela ehambelana nengqondo engaqinisekanga kunye neengxaki ezahlukeneyo zengqondo "ukusuka ebuntwaneni" kubantwana bakho;
- Ukuziphatha komama noyise ngumzekelo wokulingisa. Khumbula ukuba abantwana bakho baya kwakha intsapho yabo, bathembele kumzekelo ababonayo njengomntwana. Kwaye, ukuba ungayazi indlela yokulawula iimvakalelo zakho, ungazi njani ukunqanda umsindo nokucaphukisa, ukuphuka kubathandekayo bakho, lixesha lokuzicoca kwaye uzifunde ukuzilawula. Ukuba akunjalo kuwe, ngoko kwikamva lomntwana wakho;
- Ukumemeza okude kubantwana. Mhlawumbi uya kufezekisa ukuthobela ngokupheleleyo, kodwa kuya kwakha ukwesaba, kungekhona kwithemba okanye igunya. Vumelana, ukwesaba akuyona enye indlela yokuhlonipha nothando;
- Abantwana bakopha ukuziphatha kwabazali babo kwizinto zonke, bengabonisi izinto ezilungileyo kwizinto ezimbi. Ngoko qaphela, uphula kwiintsapho zakho - ngelinye ilanga liza kubuya ikhulu;
- ukukhala kuyonakalisa ukuzithemba komntwana kuye. Ngoko, kunciphisa kakhulu amathuba okuba umntwana abe yimpumelelo kunye nobomi obonwabileyo.
Xa unokumemeza?
Ukumemeza kungenza okulungileyo kwiimeko ezinzima. Kukho amaxesha apho ukwesaba kunokuphazamisa umntu - umlilo, imoto ezayo, ukuhlaselwa. Kodwa ukumemeza kuza kwenza kwezi meko kuphela xa ungawuguquli ube ngumsebenzi wemihla ngemihla. Kwaye, ke, kuyimfuneko ukuchazela abantwana i-algorithm yezenzo kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo ezingalindelekanga neyingozi.
Indlela yokujongana nokucaphuka kunye nomnqweno wokumemeza umntwana?
- Ukunciphisa ukuxabana kweentsapho, ukufunda i-psychology kunye ne-theory yemfundo. Yiba nesithakazelo kubantwana bakho, fumana okufanayo kubo: ukuziloba, ukuloba, ukudlala imidlalo, ukudweba - nantoni na.
- Fundisa umntwana wakho ukuba aphelise imvakalelo engathandekiyo, ungabhidli ngokuthandayo. Ukwenza oku, unokudiliza iphephancwadi, ubethe intonga yakho emlanjeni, okanye uyimemezele ngamandla akho onke. Izindlela zokwenza ubunzima, zama ezimbalwa uze wenze isigqibo sokuba yeyiphi into ekufanelekelayo.
- Funda ukuphumla. Kunzima ukulwa nesifiso sokumemeza ekufutshane xa unesimo soxinzelelo oluqhubekayo, ukusebenza ngokugqithiseleyo, njl. Zithokozise ukuthanda kwaye ungamesabi
ngamanye amaxesha ukuphumla ngaphandle komyeni (umfazi) nabantwana. - Ungakulibali ukuba injongo yemfundo ayiyi kuhlwaya, kodwa ukufundisa, kungekhona ukuguqula nokwenza ukuba wenze "okulungileyo", kodwa ukubonisa indlela efanelekileyo. Ngokuqhelekileyo uzama ukuzijonga ngokwakho kunye nemeko yonke ephuma ngaphandle. Zama ukuphepha imigwebo engalunganga, izigwebo zobuntu bomntwana (umzekelo, esikhundleni sokuba "unobungozi" unokuthi "wenze okubi" - ngoko uvavanya indlela yokuziphatha engalungiswa ngayo, kungekhona umntwana ngokwayo). Khumbula ukuba umntwana ngumntu omele uhlonipheke, njengawe.