Abazali abaninzi banomdla malunga nokuba umntwana uza kuba ngumntwana. Ngeli xesha, amakhwenkwe namantombazana athathaka kakhulu. Kwenzeka ukuba ukuphazamiseka kwenzeka kweso sihlandlo esincinci, iintsholongwane zihlala ziphazamiseka, kwaye ukuphathwa kweemvakalelo zabo kunye nokuziphatha akunakwenzeka. Ukungaqondi kakuhle, ingxaki encinci - kunye nentombazana iphendukela kwi-volcano, abazali nabazali, kunye nootitshala nabafundi eklasini endleleni yabo. Ziziphi izizathu zokubandezeleka kwabanamhlanje abaselula? Ungayilungisa njani imeko? Masiqonde.
Izinto zobungozi
Iimbangela zoxinzelelo kubantwana ngexesha lokuselula zihlukeneyo kangangokuba akunakwenzeka ukuba ziluhlu. Ingxaki efihlakeleyo okanye evulekileyo, iingxaki ezinzima, iimeko ezibucayi (zombini kunye neengcinga), ukubonakaliswa kwanoma yiluphi uhlobo lobundlobongela kubantwana abaselula - konke oku kunokubangela uxinzelelo ebusheni. Ukuba umntu omdala onomdla wesifo ovuthiweyo uhlangabezana nalo ngokuzinzileyo, ngoko umntwana unentloni yangaphakathi okanye uxinzelelo olubangela ukukhathazeka kwengqondo.
Ukususela kwiminyaka elilishumi elinambini umzimba womntwana ufunda ukujamelana nesiphepho se-hormone, esoloko ibonakalisa ukubandezeleka kwengqondo kunye nokugula ngokomzimba. Abazali bentombazana kufuneka bafundise ukulawula iimvakalelo, ukuzilawula, eziqinisekisa ukubunjwa komntu obumbeneyo kunye nobunye.
Ukuba ufumanisa izizathu eziqhelekileyo zengcinezelo yobutsha, kuya kwenzeka ukuba:
- ukunganeliseki ngedatha yabo yomzimba (ubunzima, ukuphakama, ukubonakala, ukungabikho, ubuthathaka, njl.);
- imeko kwintsapho (ukuxabana, ubundlobongela, ukufa komntu othandekayo, umtshato, ukulwa, utywala);
- ubudlelwane kunye nabafundi ofunda nabo kunye nootitshala (ukuphikisana, iimfuno ezingenayo, utshintsho lwesikolo, ukungabikho kwenkqubela phambili, ukungabi nabangane);
- uthando (zombini oluphendulayo nolungagqibekanga);
- izinto eziyingozi (ukubandakanya kwiingqungquthela ezahlukeneyo, iziyobisi, utywala ).
Ukuhlala ixesha elinjalo kwisimo sengqondo somntwana osemtsha uyela iingxaki ezinzulu, ngoko abazali kufanele bazi indlela yokunciphisa uxinzelelo kumntwana baze bambuyisele ebomini obuqhelekileyo.
Iimpawu
Kufuneka uthathe isinyathelo xa ufumana ezi zilandelayo iimpawu zoxinzelelo kumntwana wakho:
- ukungakwazi ukulala, ukukhathala, ukwanda nokunciphisa ukutya, ukulala, ukunganakwa;
- ukuhlukana kubazali, abahlobo, ukuhlala kwedwa;
- utshintsho olubukhali kwimvakalelo;
- ukuwa kwezinto zokuzithemba;
- ukungabikho kwengqwalaselo;
- Umlutha wobulaba, utywala, iziyobisi;
- unomdla omkhulu wokulahlekelwa ubunzima.
Ayikho imfihlo yokuba ixesha elide uxinzelelo lisoloko lubangelwa ukutshabalalisa kwimpilo yengqondo. Ukuxinwa kwengcinezelo kumntwana, kwanokuba iqondo lokushisa lingavuka! Iingcali zenzululwazi ziye zafakazela ukuba umntu omdala ohlala ebudeni bexesha elide, uhlala egula, kwaye ukukhukhuma kwakhe kubuthathaka. Yintoni esinokuyithetha ngokutshatyalaliswa kwempilo yengqondo? Intombazana ayikwazi ukucinga nantoni na enye ngaphandle kwengxaki yakhe, ihlala ifuna indlela yokuphuma. Ewe, ukuba kufunyenwe, kuba ngamaxesha amva nje, ukuzibulala phakathi kwentsha kuye kwaphela ukuba yinto engekho.
Ukulwa noxinzelelo kunye nokuthintela
Makheke ukuba umntwana azibonele eneminyaka eyi-12 ukuya kwe-15 ubudala, kodwa ukukhathalela abazali kuyimfuneko kuye! Kubalulekile ukudala ubudlelwane obuthembayo kunye noludumeleyo kwintsapho enomhlobo obusondelene, kuba umntwana kule nkcazelo yobudala "icebo" lithetha ngokugqithiseleyo kunokuba "umzali". Ewe, ukuthembela, inkululeko kunye namathuba okuthatha izigqibo ezizimeleyo yingozi, kodwa ngaphandle kwalokhu umntu ongekho ngokupheleleyo akanakuvuswa!
Into ebhetele yokuthintela uxinzelelo kubantwana uthando, ukunakwa, ukuqonda, ukunakekelwa, ubudlelwane obuthembayo. Intombazana enethemba lokuba izalamane naziphi na izimo ziya kuxhasa, musa ukuguquka, uncedise, ukhuselwe ukuxinezeleka ngekhuselo elithembekileyo elibizwa ngokuthi "intsapho"!