Akuyena wonke umntu owaziyo ukuba inkathazo eneminyaka ephakathi-nzekayo iyenzeka nakwabasetyhini, sinokuthi sisetyenziswe ngokugqithiseleyo ukusebenzisa eli thuba kubameli bexeshana eziqinileyo zobuntu. Mhlawumbi oku kubangelwa ukuba abafazi basecaleni babezimeleyo, kwaye namhlanje banokukhathazeka okukhulu kwengqondo. Okanye mhlawumbi kuba kwiminyaka yamuva nje abafazi sele baqale ukuthetha ngeengxaki zabo. Kodwa nangona kunjalo, ingxaki yenkxalabo yamabhinqa ephakathi phakathi kwaye kuyimfuneko ukwazi indlela yokusinda ngayo.
Iimpawu zeengxaki zeminyaka ephakathi kwabasetyhini
Ngaphambi kokuba sixoxe ngendlela yokunqoba intsingiselo yobudala obuphakathi, kuyimfuneko ukuqonda indlela ebonakalisa ngayo kwaye xa kufika ukufika kwayo.
Iimpawu eziphambili zeengxaki zobomi phakathi kwabasetyhini zi:
- ukulahlekelwa ngumdla kumsebenzi kunye nezinto ezithandwayo;
- iingcamango ezingenakuvuyela ngekamva;
- ukufuna intsingiselo yobomi;
- ukudabuka ixesha lokuchitha ixesha;
- Ukuhlaziywa kobudlelwane kunye neentsapho kunye nabahlobo, ngokuqhelekileyo kwinqanaba elibi;
- jikelele uxinezelekileyo, uxinzelelo.
Xa ubunzima bexesha eliphakathi kwimizi ebomini kubonakala kunzima ukuthetha, ngokuqhelekileyo kuvela kwiminyaka engama-35 kuya kweyama-50, kodwa kunokufumana umfazi osemncinci, kunokuthi kwenzeke kamva ebomini, kwaye kwenzeka ukuba abafazi abakwaziyo ukuqaphela eli xesha. Ngako oko, impendulo ngqo ayinakunikwa umbuzo wokuba ixesha elide lobomi bexesha lihlala phi. Yonke into incike kwintokazi, ngokwasemzimbeni wayo kunye nesimo sakhe ebomini. Omnye uza kufumana indlela yokuphuma kwintlekele ngaphandle kokuvumela ukuba ikhule ibe yingxaki enkulu, kwaye umntu uya kuba nakho ukunceda kuphela ochwepheshe abanezakhono.
Iimbangela zeengxaki zeminyaka ephakathi kwabasetyhini
Ngokutsho kweengcali zengqondo, ukuphepha ingxaki yexesha eliphakathi akuyi kuphumelela, kuba imeko yendalo ukuba umntu aguquke ukusuka kwelinye ilizwe ukuya kwelinye. Kodwa kukho a bafazi abangatshoyo ukuba bafumana ingxaki apho. Yintoni na, ngaba ngabadlali abafanelekileyo okanye ngaba kukho amaqela abantu abajongene nalo xesha ngokulula? Zona zikhetho zinokwenzeka, kodwa i-psychoanalyst zichonga amaqela amabhinqa avelele ngakumbi kwinkqubo enzima yentlekele.
- nabantwana abangenamntwana;
- Amantombazana anzima kakhulu kwaye azincoma;
- abafazi abasinda ekufeni komyeni okanye abantwana;
- bafazi abangatshatanga;
- abasetyhini, ekuhambeni kwexesha basuka ekunyamekelweni kwabazali kwaye ngenxa yoko babengenaso ixesha lokubona ezinye zeephupha zabo.
Unokuyinqoba njani inkathazo yobudala obuphakathi?
Abasetyhini abaninzi bazizwa belahlekile, bengabalulekanga nakubani na nje kuba bengayazi indlela yokusindiswa kwintlekele yobudala obuphakathi. Bacinga ukuba eli lizwe aliqhelekanga, bazama ukukhawuleza, ukuthabatha ixesha lokuzonwabisa okungenanto okungazifaki iziphumo ezifunwayo. Kwaye abanako ukuzisa, kuba i-nkathazo kufuneka ikwazi ukufumana amava, yithuba lokusebenza kwangaphakathi, ukuhlaziywa kwemilinganiselo, ukucinga ingcinga entsha yendawo yabo ebomini.
Inkxalabo ayibi, ngoku sekuyixesha lokucinga. Kwada kweli nqanaba, uye wendaweni ethile ngokukhawuleza-ukugqiba isikolo, iyunivesithi, ukwakha umsebenzi, utshatile, ube nabantwana. Kwaye ngoku kuye kwafika umonakalo, yonke into efunekayo yenziwe, injongo yokuphila ilahlekile, ngoko ukunganakwa, ukungafuni ukwenza nantoni na. Ngamanye amaxesha umele ufune ukucinga ingxaki yakho, thatha ikhefu uze uye kwindawo elithulileyo,
Kodwa ukuba unenkxalabo yobudala obude phakathi kwexesha elide kwaye ungayiqondi yonke into enokuyenza ngayo - akukho ukuphumla, okanye inkxaso yenkwenkwe nabahlobo ayinakunceda, kubalulekile ukudibana nomgqirha. Ngaphandle koko, kuya kufuneka sicinge indlela yokujongana neengxaki zexesha eliphakathi, kodwa kunye nokudandatheka okude kunye neengxaki zexhala, kwaye oku kude kwaye kubiza.