Imibono malunga nezinto zokugqoka iimpahla zangaphantsi zihlala zilumkiso malunga neengxaki ezizayo, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha, ngokuchaseneyo, zibonisa iindaba ezilungileyo, inzuzo kunye noshintsho kwimeko yomtshato. Iinguqu ezahlukeneyo zephupha zala mabali azifani, ngoko ziqwalasela ezimbalwa iinkcazo eziqhelekileyo kwiincwadi zeenkwenkwezi.
Yintoni iphupha lezihlangu zabesifazane?
Iingqayi okanye iibhothi, ngakumbi ezo zizithende eziphezulu, zifanekisela ubulili kunye nobomi bentsapho namantombazana namakhwenkwe. Xa utolika isalathiso sombono, kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuba le nto yayimeko ehle kakhulu okanye eyingozi. Oku kuya kukwenza ukuba iphupha elinikeziwe lizithembisa ntoni, nokuba lifanelekile ukulinda iintsilelo okanye, ngokuchaseneyo, kuyisilumkiso esihle.
Ukuba izicathulo zowesifazane ziphupha, kwaye izihlangu okanye izibhotshi zihlambulukile, zitshatileyo okanye zidibene, umntu kufuneka alindele iingxaki zeentsapho okanye ukuxabana nesoka okanye umlingane. Kwimeko apho intombazana inesizungu, kodwa ibona ibali elifanayo ebusuku, akufanele ilindele ukuba kungekudala uza kudibana nomyeni wakhe. Ngokuphambene noko, kuyimfuneko yokwesaba abantu abasandulana nabo kunye namadoda, kunokukhokelela ekudumeni nasezinkingeni. Kwabafana uphawu olunjalo, lo bubungqina bemiba yesondo engenziwanga.
Ngoku makhe sicinge ngoluvo lweengqondo zeengqondo kumbuzo wezihlangu ezigqoke i-high-heeled ezigutywe ngodaka. Ngokutsho kophando lwabo, eli bali liza kuxela kakhulu ngobomi besondo kunye nentombi. Izicathulo ezingcolileyo, ezityumbileyo zibonisa ukuba umntu akavuyiswa ngongoma obusondeleyo wolwalamano kunye nomlingane wakhe, mhlawumbi ukholelwa ukuba embhedeni phakathi kwakhe kunye nesiqingatha sesibini into engeyiyo. Imibono enjalo isoloko ifunyanwe kumantombazana awakhuliswa enkolelo yokuba ukulala ngokwesondo kufuneka kube kuphela ukuzalwa komntwana, kwaye le nkqubo ayifanele ivuyise.
Izicathulo ezicocekileyo nezivakalayo ephupheni, zibonisa ukuba umntu unelisekile ngobomi obusondeleyo, ubudlelwane bokwenene kunye nolonwabo lwakhe aluyilo. Kodwa ke, abavumisi beenkwenkwezi kunye neengqondo zengqondo bacebisa ukuba ukhangele ngokuthe ngqo ukukhethwa kwendlela yakho, mhlawumbi intombazana okanye inkwenkwe ixhala ukuba ingcali okanye ukuqonda ngokwabo akunakwenzeka ngendlela enokuthanda ngayo. Iingqayi zifanekisela kwizigqibo zephupho ezamkelwa ngabantu ngokwenene.
Kutheni uphupha izihlangu zabantu?
Iibhothi zibonakalisa indlela yobugcisa, ngoko eli bali liza kukuxelela malunga nomsebenzi kunye ne-business acumen yomntu. Intombazana kufuneka icinge ngento yokuba unomdla, iqala ukudlala indima yentlalo, engaqhelekanga kwisini esilungileyo, yiloo nto izihlangu zomntu ziphupha malunga nomfazi. Isicwangciso esinjalo siyisilumkiso, isikhumbuzo sokuba umntu ngamnye unenjongo eyahlukileyo, kwaye umntu akufanele awutyeshele.
Ngoku makhe sithethe malunga neziphi izihlangu zesikhwele kubafana, kuba indoda isoloko ibonakalisa kakuhle, ithi umsebenzi wakhe uya kunyuka. Gcina nje ukhumbule ukuba ukutolika okunjalo kunikwa kuphela xa izihlangu zihlambulukile kwaye zizwakala, kwezinye iimeko, oku kuyisixwayiso malunga nokungcatshiswa kunye nokunyaniseka kwabalingane. Xa ubona icebo elinjalo, zama ukuthabatha amanyathelo okukhusela kwakho kwaye awuyi kuhlupheka.
Kutheni uphupha ukuthenga izicathulo?
Ngokuqhelekileyo oku kukuphawu oluhle oluthembisa utshintsho olulungileyo ebomini. Ukuba izicathulo zihlala ngokugqibeleleyo, njengaye kwaye zifuna ukuthenga, ngokukhawuleza umntu uya kufumana ulonwabo lwentsapho, athole inzuzo yemali okanye isiphakamiso seshishini esincomekayo kakhulu esibonakalisa ukukhula komsebenzi . Ukuthenga izicathulo ephupheni, xa kungangqinelani nokuthandwa, kuncinci okanye kukukhulu, kukuphawuleka ukuba kwenziwe isigqibo esingafanelekanga ebomini. Kufanelekile ukucinga malunga neyiphi impazamo nendlela yokukhusela ngayo.
Kutheni ujonge malunga nokulinganisa izihlangu?
Ukuba izicathulo zintsha, ngoko kufuneka ulinde iindaba, ziza kuba zilungile okanye zingabi ninzi, kuxhomekeke kwimeko yezihlangu. Kodwa ukulinganisa izicathulo zomnye umntu ephupheni, lo mqondiso awubonakali kakhulu, ibali elinjalo lithetha ukuba umntu uzama ukungahlali ubomi bakhe, ukwakha kuye ngokwakhe ongekho. Iingcali zengqondo kunye neenkwenkwezi zivumelanisa ukuba umntu kufuneka acinge ngento yokuba ukuziphatha okunjalo akuyi kubakho ukulungelelanisa, ukuphazamiseka kwangaphakathi sele kuvele kwaye kuza kwanda.
Izicathulo ezahlukeneyo kwimilenze ephupha kubonisa ukuba umntu akakwazi ukwenza isigqibo malunga nobudlelwane bakhe okanye umsebenzi wakhe. Emva kokuyiqonda le meko ngokwenene, unokukwazi ukulahla loo mibono. Ukuba uqala ukuzama izicathulo ephupheni, umntu uye wakwazi ukukhetha enye yezihlangu, ngoko kubomi kungekudala kuya kubakho ukucaca nokungaqiniseki ukuba yeyiphi indlela echanekileyo ayiyi kuhlala. Ewe, xa oku kungenzeki, ngoko ngokwenene akukho mfuneko yokulinda isisombululo esheshayo.
Kutheni uphupha ngeembadada ezintsha?
Uthe wathenga izicathulo uthi ebomini komntu oyedwa ngokukhawuleza uza kuvela kwisiqingatha sesibini. Ukuba ukhetha izicathulo ephupheni kumntu osele utshatile, umbutho okanye igosa, kufuneka ulinde ukuxabana kunye neentlanzi, mhlawumbi nobudlelwane bobudlelwane, ekubeni isalathisi esinjalo sibonisa ukungoneleliseki kweqabane, ukuziphatha kunye nobudlelwane ngokubanzi.
Zithini izicathulo ezindala?
Kuwuphawu lokuba kwithuba elidlulileyo kukho iphutha, okumele lilungiswe ngokukhawuleza, ngaphandle koko liya kuthintela inyaniso. Ukuphupha izicathulo ezindala kwaye uzame, kuthetha ukuba umntu akayikhiphi imiphumo yesigqibo esithile. Ukuba izihlangu zilahliwe okanye zinikezelwe ngumntu, ingxaki iyanqotshwa ngempumelelo, imiphumo yephutha iyancitshiswa kwaye ayiyi kubachaphazela kakubi okwangoku.
Kutheni uphupha ukulahlekelwa izicathulo?
Ukubonakala embonweni ngaphandle kwezicathulo, kuthetha ukuba ebomini isiganeko esiya kwenzeka esichaphazela kakhulu intsapho yolonwabo. Ukulahlekelwa izicathulo ephupheni kwaye ukhangele, kodwa ngaphandle kokuphumelela, lo luphawu olusabekayo, uthi kuyakuba nzima kakhulu ukuhlawulela ukulahlekelwa yinyani. Kodwa ukuba izicathulo zifunyenwe, ulonwabo luqu, nangona lusemngciphekweni, kodwa aluyi kuhlupheka, ulwalamano aluyi kutshabalalisa, intsapho ayiyi kulahla.
Kutheni ndifuna ukucoceka izicathulo zam?
Ukungcola kwezicathulo kubonisa ukuba ebomini kukho iziganeko ezimbi, nangona zingabonakali, kodwa sele ziyingozi. Ukucoca izicathulo ephupheni ngumqondiso omhle, uthi umntu uzama ukuphepha ukuphuhliswa kakubi kwecebo, ngokwenene uya kuncedwa ngumhlobo okanye isihlobo esiseduze. Ngokuqhelekileyo, umlingane ongalindelekanga ubonakala ngokukhawuleza, ukhusela ubunzima, kwaye ulondoloze into ethandekayo kumntu lowo mbono.
Kutheni ndiphupha ukuhlamba izicathulo ezidakeni?
Amanzi - uphawu lokuhlanjululwa, ukuziphatha nokuziphathekayo, kunceda ukuphinda uphinde uphinde uphinde ubenze, ususe okubi. Ukufaka izicathulo ephupheni kuthetha ukuba umntu uzama ukuhamba endleleni yakhe yokuphila, okuvela kuyo ngenxa yesizathu esithile. Ukuba umntu unceda ukulahla ukungcola ngezicathulo, le ndoda okanye umfazi uya kunceda ngokwenene, negalelo ekuzalisekeni kwamanani abo kunye nezinto eziphambili. Ngokukhawuleza embonweni kuvela ukwenza izicathulo zicoceke, ngokukhawuleza kubomi kuya kuba neenguqu ezintle.
Ziziphi iingubo zezingane eziphuphayo?
Kubantu abangatshatanga, ibali elinjalo likhumbuza ukuba wonke umntu emva koko ufuna ukudala intsapho, abe nomntwana aze amphakamise. Izicathulo zezingane kwiphupha labo abangakabonakali ngobomi bomntu kukuba ixazululo yabo iya kuxazululwa ngokukhawuleza, baya kudibana nesinye isiqingatha, batshata kwaye izindlalifa ziza kubonakala ngexesha elifutshane kakhulu.
Ngabantwana abangenabantwana, icebo elinjalo linomqondiso obonwabileyo, kubonisa ukuba banamathuba okuba nomntwana okanye ukukhusela umntwana okhuselekileyo ngokukhuselekileyo. Ukubeleka, ithuba lokufikelela umnqweno wokutyalo-mali kwisizukulwana esizayo, yinto efanelekileyo kakhulu - yiloo nto izicathulo zezingane eziphuphayo. Kulabo abanalindlalifa, umbono ubonisa ukukhathazeka ngaye, izigqibo ezenziwe ngumntwana.
Ukusebenzisa incwadi yephupha nokutolika ibali ebonwa ebusuku, unokuthintela umonakalo. Umzekelo, ukuba umntu ubona izicathulo ezingcolileyo, kufuneka athembele oogxa bakhe abancinci aze azinikele ixesha elithile kwintsapho yakhe ukuze umtshato uqhubeke, kwaye umsebenzi uya kuphakama. Nika intsingiselo efanelekileyo kumaphupha, kwaye ebomini kuya kuba nemininzi emihle, kwaye imbalwa imingcipheko emibi.